Parents don’t want to FaceTime with their grandson

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 42 and I refuse to facetime. It's ridiculous and a horrible way to communicate. Just send pictures of your kid to them. Show your kid pictures of your parents if you feel like it. Don't force anyone to use Facetime!

I’m in this camp 100%. I’m not a fan of “talking” with toddlers on the phone either.

You must be my inlaws. Idk why it bothers me that they don't want to talk to my 3.5 year old (technically a "preschooler") but she's perfectly capable of interesting conversations. For instance she just had my best friend tell her a story about how she woke up late and barely made her plane and had to run. She wants to go on vacation to meet mermaids. She also talks about Disney characters like their real people though, so there's that. Even my two year old likes to talk for a few minutes if an adult is willing to talk to him. Sure his grammar isn't there, but that's what conversations work on. I'm only asking for 5 minutes with grandparents. I listen about their colonoscopy prep, so the least they can do is listen to my toddlers cute stories.

[Anonymous]

Once a week we FaceTime with my parents and our kids for no more than 5 minutes. Then we hang up and re-dial and I speak with my mom for whatever time we need.

[Anonymous]

My parents and I are champs of the 3-minute FT-with-kids. Hello, oh what a nice picture you drew, oh what a lovely purple dress, love you sweetheart, bye.

My husband and his family keep trying to make 45-minute FT-with-little-kids happen. It's chaos, it's stupid, they won't learn the lesson, they won't let it go. Are you like this, OP? Do you try to make it a marathon, when it should be a sprint?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 42 and I refuse to facetime. It's ridiculous and a horrible way to communicate. Just send pictures of your kid to them. Show your kid pictures of your parents if you feel like it. Don't force anyone to use Facetime!

I’m in this camp 100%. I’m not a fan of “talking” with toddlers on the phone either.

You must be my inlaws. Idk why it bothers me that they don't want to talk to my 3.5 year old (technically a "preschooler") but she's perfectly capable of interesting conversations. For instance she just had my best friend tell her a story about how she woke up late and barely made her plane and had to run. She wants to go on vacation to meet mermaids. She also talks about Disney characters like their real people though, so there's that. Even my two year old likes to talk for a few minutes if an adult is willing to talk to him. Sure his grammar isn't there, but that's what conversations work on. I'm only asking for 5 minutes with grandparents. I listen about their colonoscopy prep, so the least they can do is listen to my toddlers cute stories.

Five minutes is way too long, even with a cute, well-behaved child. Try 2 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I are champs of the 3-minute FT-with-kids. Hello, oh what a nice picture you drew, oh what a lovely purple dress, love you sweetheart, bye.

My husband and his family keep trying to make 45-minute FT-with-little-kids happen. It's chaos, it's stupid, they won't learn the lesson, they won't let it go. Are you like this, OP? Do you try to make it a marathon, when it should be a sprint?

I would love to have short conversations with my parents. From my perspective, my parents drone on and on about TV shows they watched, while simultaneously being frustrated that I’m getting distracted by a toddler. He can be left alone for 10-15 minutes, but after that he wants attention.

[Anonymous]

Wow, so many FaceTime haters here and people who don't think toddlers are cute even if they can't carry on a conversation. I have a niece across the country and we have FT multiple times per week since she was 2 (she's 3.5 now). Its wonderful for cultivating a relationship despite not living close enough to see each other more than a few times per year. When we do see her, my partner and I are immediately recognized with hugs and excitement, rather than being the strangers we'd otherwise be. It's simply the best, and I'm so grateful FaceTime exists and I'm not missing out on being a part of my niece's life just because we live far away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I are champs of the 3-minute FT-with-kids. Hello, oh what a nice picture you drew, oh what a lovely purple dress, love you sweetheart, bye.

My husband and his family keep trying to make 45-minute FT-with-little-kids happen. It's chaos, it's stupid, they won't learn the lesson, they won't let it go. Are you like this, OP? Do you try to make it a marathon, when it should be a sprint?

I would love to have short conversations with my parents. From my perspective, my parents drone on and on about TV shows they watched, while simultaneously being frustrated that I’m getting distracted by a toddler. He can be left alone for 10-15 minutes, but after that he wants attention.

SO OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND TELL THEM THAT. "Hi Mom, I've got Billy with me, so I need to make this quick. Would you rather I called back when he was asleep?"

[Anonymous]

As someone with hearing difficulties, I can tell you that FaceTime is a nightmare, and understanding small children in person is a nightmare, and putting the both of them together would be incredibly stressful for me. So, that might be part of it with your ILs as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 42 and I refuse to facetime. It's ridiculous and a horrible way to communicate. Just send pictures of your kid to them. Show your kid pictures of your parents if you feel like it. Don't force anyone to use Facetime!

Of course it's not a replacement for in-person communication, but I actually think it's a wonderful way to have as much connection as you can with someone who's not in the same room as you. DD is 3 and loves facetiming with her grandparents who live across the country. We do it every Sunday night. We set up the iPad and she talks to them while she eats dinner. She loves telling them what's going on with her and showing them whatever her obsession is that week (this time it was her stuffed zebra and her new shoes).

It's really nothing as awful as you're making it out to be.

This sounds excruciatingly painful for the person on the other end of the line. They’re humoring you. Trust me, they aren’t enjoying it as much as you think they are.

Oh, you know my in-laws? Didn't realize that.

My MIL gushes about how much she enjoys her facetime conversations with DD. She says it's one of the highlights of her week. She requested them weekly and so we oblige because she enjoys it so much.

You, on the other hand, sound like a bitter, cynical person. I feel sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

Well, my in-laws are theoretically willing to do FT, but technologically can't figure it out. FIL has a smartphone, but doesn't know how to use it for much beyond phone calls. We tried to set it up for them, but they couldn't even remember email passwords to complete the registration process, so for now we've given up.

[Anonymous]

When I used to facetime with my son when he was that age (and visiting his dad) I would get dizzy cause he moved constantly. Either that or I was trying to listen while he walked around and could never understand him.

My parents will facetime with him some, but even now its easier for everyone if they don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I are champs of the 3-minute FT-with-kids. Hello, oh what a nice picture you drew, oh what a lovely purple dress, love you sweetheart, bye.

My husband and his family keep trying to make 45-minute FT-with-little-kids happen. It's chaos, it's stupid, they won't learn the lesson, they won't let it go. Are you like this, OP? Do you try to make it a marathon, when it should be a sprint?

I would love to have short conversations with my parents. From my perspective, my parents drone on and on about TV shows they watched, while simultaneously being frustrated that I’m getting distracted by a toddler. He can be left alone for 10-15 minutes, but after that he wants attention.

SO OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND TELL THEM THAT. "Hi Mom, I've got Billy with me, so I need to make this quick. Would you rather I called back when he was asleep?"

Why do you think I haven’t? I’ve given up. I figure I can give them 45 minutes a week of phone calls that I find boring and ill-timed. I think my frustration is two-fold. One, I’m trying to cultivate a relationship, but can’t seem to get anywhere. And two, I’ve realized just how one-sided these phone calls really are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone with hearing difficulties, I can tell you that FaceTime is a nightmare, and understanding small children in person is a nightmare, and putting the both of them together would be incredibly stressful for me. So, that might be part of it with your ILs as well.

+1. Anyone over 60 even with (relative) good hearing is going to be having trouble on a platform like FaceTime. You have to understand how difficult that medium is. And if you don't, start Googling and educate yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I are champs of the 3-minute FT-with-kids. Hello, oh what a nice picture you drew, oh what a lovely purple dress, love you sweetheart, bye.

My husband and his family keep trying to make 45-minute FT-with-little-kids happen. It's chaos, it's stupid, they won't learn the lesson, they won't let it go. Are you like this, OP? Do you try to make it a marathon, when it should be a sprint?

I would love to have short conversations with my parents. From my perspective, my parents drone on and on about TV shows they watched, while simultaneously being frustrated that I’m getting distracted by a toddler. He can be left alone for 10-15 minutes, but after that he wants attention.

SO OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND TELL THEM THAT. "Hi Mom, I've got Billy with me, so I need to make this quick. Would you rather I called back when he was asleep?"

Why do you think I haven’t? I’ve given up. I figure I can give them 45 minutes a week of phone calls that I find boring and ill-timed. I think my frustration is two-fold. One, I’m trying to cultivate a relationship, but can’t seem to get anywhere. And two, I’ve realized just how one-sided these phone calls really are.

OK? Yes, and? You are martyring yourself to 45 minutes, sounds like. If you want to make a change, make the calls shorter. Make it 20 or 30 minutes. Or make it two short calls a week rather than one long.

You're like a child, expecting someone else to change and do something the way you want. Looks like that's not going to happen. So what are YOU going to do to improve the situation for yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with hearing difficulties, I can tell you that FaceTime is a nightmare, and understanding small children in person is a nightmare, and putting the both of them together would be incredibly stressful for me. So, that might be part of it with your ILs as well.

+1. Anyone over 60 even with (relative) good hearing is going to be having trouble on a platform like FaceTime. You have to understand how difficult that medium is. And if you don't, start Googling and educate yourself.

My dad has hearing aids that use blue tooth to link to his ipad/iphone. It's easier for him to facetime than to be in person even. You don't speak for all older people.