Parents don’t want to FaceTime with their grandson

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with hearing difficulties, I can tell you that FaceTime is a nightmare, and understanding small children in person is a nightmare, and putting the both of them together would be incredibly stressful for me. So, that might be part of it with your ILs as well.

+1. Anyone over 60 even with (relative) good hearing is going to be having trouble on a platform like FaceTime. You have to understand how difficult that medium is. And if you don't, start Googling and educate yourself.

My dad has hearing aids that use blue tooth to link to his ipad/iphone. It's easier for him to facetime than to be in person even. You don't speak for all older people.

I'm the PP with hearing difficulties, and I have the bluetooth-to-hearing-aids setup too, and it's great for phone calls, when the other person is talking right into a microphone. On FaceTime, a lot of the time people (especially kids) aren't doing that.

Plus, I'm in my early 50s, so it's not like I don't understand technology, etc. Hearing aids aren't a sudden return to normal hearing, even with bluetooth. And while your dad has it working for him, a lot of people don't have that setup, or do but are still fighting hearing difficulties, or don't even realize they need hearing aids. And then it becomes not wanting to admit that their hearing is going south, because that means they are getting old.

Just saying that an older person's lack of interest in FaceTiming isn't necessarily because they secretly hate your Codys and Kaitlins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 42 and I refuse to facetime. It's ridiculous and a horrible way to communicate. Just send pictures of your kid to them. Show your kid pictures of your parents if you feel like it. Don't force anyone to use Facetime!

I’m in this camp 100%. I’m not a fan of “talking” with toddlers on the phone either.

Agree. I’m 52. Two grandchildren whom I absolutely adore. I hate FaceTime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I live on opposite coasts. For a variety of reasons, my parents are no longer traveling. And for a variety of reasons, my family won’t be out to see them until at least 2021.

My parents call weekly and talk for about 45 minutes about what’s going on. Yesterday, my son woke up from his nap, and I asked if they wanted to FaceTime with him. Answer, “nope!” (They also are frustrated when my son is making a lot of noise and I can’t concentrate on talking to them. But to be fair, he’s two, and I don’t think it’s realistic to expect I’ll have 45 minutes of totally free time on a weekend.)

Anyway, I’m just so frustrated by their attitude. I think they just aren’t baby people (maybe?), but by the time he gets interesting, they’ll likely be deceased.

Any ideas?

You aren’t going to see your parents who will likely be deceased in the near future until 2021... but you are annoyed they don’t want to FaceTime with your son?

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I live on opposite coasts. For a variety of reasons, my parents are no longer traveling. And for a variety of reasons, my family won’t be out to see them until at least 2021.

My parents call weekly and talk for about 45 minutes about what’s going on. Yesterday, my son woke up from his nap, and I asked if they wanted to FaceTime with him. Answer, “nope!” (They also are frustrated when my son is making a lot of noise and I can’t concentrate on talking to them. But to be fair, he’s two, and I don’t think it’s realistic to expect I’ll have 45 minutes of totally free time on a weekend.)

Anyway, I’m just so frustrated by their attitude. I think they just aren’t baby people (maybe?), but by the time he gets interesting, they’ll likely be deceased.

Any ideas?

You aren’t going to see your parents who will likely be deceased in the near future until 2021... but you are annoyed they don’t want to FaceTime with your son?

What?

I expect my parents will be deceased in 15-20 years. That’s also probably when my son will start becoming interesting to them. Son is two. Parents are 70.

We have visited three time since son was born. We are not visiting this year because I am pregnant and cannot fly due to problems with my placenta. My husband wants to visit his family (also cross-country) in 2020. We haven’t visited them yet, but they have visited us. So yeah, 2021 it is. (FWIW, a cross-country trip for us with airfare, rental car, and hotel is approximately $4-5K. Also, I only get 2.5 weeks of leave a year.)

[Anonymous]

It's so tedious to FaceTime with small children. It would be cute for them to see his smiling face and wave, say "Hello, Larlo! We love you!" and then hang up. But if you are like my brother, you park your kid on the phone or on FaceTime but then do very little to keep the "conversation" going. Ugh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, so many FaceTime haters here and people who don't think toddlers are cute even if they can't carry on a conversation. I have a niece across the country and we have FT multiple times per week since she was 2 (she's 3.5 now). Its wonderful for cultivating a relationship despite not living close enough to see each other more than a few times per year. When we do see her, my partner and I are immediately recognized with hugs and excitement, rather than being the strangers we'd otherwise be. It's simply the best, and I'm so grateful FaceTime exists and I'm not missing out on being a part of my niece's life just because we live far away.

I think toddlers are cute, but I hate trying to FaceTime with them. It's such a horrible overlay of technology on, what should be, a pretty much screen-free time of life. WHY would you force a toddler to understand "people we love" as a concept on a screen? I'm not a screen free person, I love tv and movies and my kids do too, but I don't encourage them to have psudo human interaction on phones and tablets. It's weird. Their little brains shouldn't have to learn how to do that.

[Anonymous]

They're probably just not "baby people" as you say OP. My 70 yr old mother is fine with FaceTime as we don't even live in the same country so visits are infrequent. I focus the camera on my 2 yr old and my mother and I have a conversation. When my kid gets too restless, I let her run off and I continue talking to my mother.

I mean, sometimes she forgets it's a video call and puts the phone up to her face so all we see is her ear, but she means well and adjusts once I draw her attention to it. Both she and my daughter have a grand old time barely interacting while looking at images of each other.

[Anonymous]

I am 30 and I hate talking to my niece and nephew over FaceTime. I can never get off, all I am doing is asking them to please stop running around with the phone because they are making me dizzy. Most of the time they are screaming or yelling at each other....my brother and sister-in-law asking them to calm down in the background, my brother yelling at the phone for me to answer a question....I could keep going. I just prefer to play a game with them that we can do together on the phones or we snapchat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so tedious to FaceTime with small children. It would be cute for them to see his smiling face and wave, say "Hello, Larlo! We love you!" and then hang up. But if you are like my brother, you park your kid on the phone or on FaceTime but then do very little to keep the "conversation" going. Ugh!

Has your brother met my brother? HAHA- I love my niece and nephew, but once I get on the FaceTime call, it's like the parents disappear and I am stuck on the damn phone for 20 minutes watching them run around, or, even better, watching them watch TV or play Xbox. I try to get off the phone after we have the five minute conversation, because that's all the attention span they have, but, no, I have to stay on the phone and watch what they are watching. All I want to do is scream.....where is your Dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I are champs of the 3-minute FT-with-kids. Hello, oh what a nice picture you drew, oh what a lovely purple dress, love you sweetheart, bye.

My husband and his family keep trying to make 45-minute FT-with-little-kids happen. It's chaos, it's stupid, they won't learn the lesson, they won't let it go. Are you like this, OP? Do you try to make it a marathon, when it should be a sprint?

I would love to have short conversations with my parents. From my perspective, my parents drone on and on about TV shows they watched, while simultaneously being frustrated that I’m getting distracted by a toddler. He can be left alone for 10-15 minutes, but after that he wants attention.

SO OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND TELL THEM THAT. "Hi Mom, I've got Billy with me, so I need to make this quick. Would you rather I called back when he was asleep?"

You’re missing the point. She doesn’t want to have a marathon listening session. Her parents tv shows and ailments aren’t going to be interesting atfter bedtime.

She WANTS SHORT phone conversations with her parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so tedious to FaceTime with small children. It would be cute for them to see his smiling face and wave, say "Hello, Larlo! We love you!" and then hang up. But if you are like my brother, you park your kid on the phone or on FaceTime but then do very little to keep the "conversation" going. Ugh!

Has your brother met my brother? HAHA- I love my niece and nephew, but once I get on the FaceTime call, it's like the parents disappear and I am stuck on the damn phone for 20 minutes watching them run around, or, even better, watching them watch TV or play Xbox. I try to get off the phone after we have the five minute conversation, because that's all the attention span they have, but, no, I have to stay on the phone and watch what they are watching. All I want to do is scream.....where is your Dad.

Why don’t you say “bye bye! Larla press the red button! Bye -bye!”

You do realize you can end the call whenever you want right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 30 and I hate talking to my niece and nephew over FaceTime. I can never get off, all I am doing is asking them to please stop running around with the phone because they are making me dizzy. Most of the time they are screaming or yelling at each other....my brother and sister-in-law asking them to calm down in the background, my brother yelling at the phone for me to answer a question....I could keep going. I just prefer to play a game with them that we can do together on the phones or we snapchat.

This is pretty much me w/ my kids on FT, but my ILs LOVE their calls, because it's how they get to see their grand kids. I find it sort of annoying, but it also only lasts for 5-10 minutes, so what's the big deal if they love it?

[Anonymous]

We were able to briefly FT when my kids were that age when I’d stick it at the dinner table. Now the kids are tweens and everyone hates FT. None of us have tried in years. Send all the photos you want but we are not FaceTiming.

[Anonymous]

A 45-minute call every week is too much. Shorten it and/or skip some weeks. Have your DS say hi to grandma and grandpa over the phone.

[Anonymous]

Your son is two. I think it is very unrealistic to try to get him to FT with your parents and it puts a huge burden on them. I totally understand why they don't want to do it.