Cousin situation: looking for perspective

[Anonymous]

Quit the drama! Text her back and tell her you liked the music and it was nice to see her. Tell her you had a good time. Just drop it and get relationship back in order. Suggest meeting for lunch sometime half way between your two homes. Go enjoy and forget this whole incident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So when OP hit the cousin up and said, “Yeah I’m going to the such-and-such next week what do people wear?” the cousin didn’t say, “Oh we might go too” she just told OP what to wear and then showed up out the blue.

Hmmmm...maybe she was pissed cause OP said she was going to the such-and-such 3.5 miles from her home and didn’t bother to suggest get together sometime!
OP was just like, “Yeah we going it’s close to your house and I ain’t seen you but screw coming by to say hi we going to the such-and-such what should I wear?”
That’s just as bad you ask me.
I wouldn’t wanna sit at your table either. You didn’t wanna come by my house. You didn’t wanna ask if we’d like to go with you. You just asked me for wardrobe advice SCREW YOU!!!

The event was near MY house. It was 3.5 hours away from my cousins home. That's why I was so surprised she was thete and that's how I know it's not a last minute thing.

Well for whatever reason you ain’t on her favorite person’s list now you can be petty and respond in kind or you can act like you give two shits about your relationship/friendship and ask what’s going on.

How many times are you going to post in this thread with your horrific grammar??

Your writing style is so apparent, you seem obsessed with this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why y’all so afraid to confront people when there’s confusion or ambiguity in your relationships? Y’all always wanna play Sherlock Holmes and gather clues and make deductions about what’s going on and ask everybody in the world for insight on what’s happening but REFUSE TO TALK TO THE OTHER PARTY. What is the deal?

And another (on top of the 5 other posts before this).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Cousin just texted me asking if we had a good time, what did we think of the music there?

I’m confused. Did not reply yet.

Reply: yes, thanks for asking. We had a nice time.

[Anonymous]

I have not replied yet, I am still thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you text often, see each other a few times a year but this one incident means the relationship is over?
Yes, you can get a babysitter and book a hotel room at the last minute.
Maybe there is stuff going on with them that had nothing to do with you.
Call and say ‘hey wish we could have hung out at the Grunch Festival, I miss you, let’s make plans to get together on x,you weekend.’
If If you were not regularly trying to make plans with her and she’s constantly rebuffing your efforts, it’s hard to say she’s trying to distance herself from you.

Agree but when could have texted me to say she is coming. That coupled with the fact that they didn't want to sit with us-- does tell me she didn't want to hang out with me.

Maybe friends her DH was closer to? And she felt awkward. Try not to take it personally. It’s not always about you but many times something else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not replied yet, I am still thinking.

Reply Yes. Glad we bumped into each other. Would love to hang out soon.

[Anonymous]

My guess would be that her DH does not like you or does not like your DH (or maybe even she does not like your DH) and she's not sure how to handle.

[Anonymous]

^^ By the way, if it were me, I would ask her what's up. Not telling you she was going is super weird (even if she decided last minute) and it means something is up.

[Anonymous]

OP, you grew up close, but based on how you describe things now, you aren't really anymore. If you want to be close with your cousin again, texting occasionally and seeing one another a few times a year isn't how you maintain closeness. I'm guessing she just forgot all about your text, made plans to hang out with friends, and only remembered you were coming when she saw you. She now feels a little bad and is testing out the waters to see if you're upset.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the people she was attending with and you aren't a good mix? I have seperate friends that enjoy similar things, but I don't invite them all together if they aren't also friends. Or, if one is weird/awkward. Example, my friend, lets call him Larry, enjoys Mexican food. So does my friend Tom. I am planning to go to the brand new trendy Mexican restaurant that just opened up in town. I like and am used to Larry, but he's just an objectively awkward person especially around new acquaintances. So, while I know Tom would also LOVE to go to this Mexican plan, I'm not including him this time because it just doesn't work with Larry and Tom together. Get it?

[Anonymous]

I’m gathering some jealousy that you were going an not her/didn’t ask if she wanted to come. It’s weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you grew up close, but based on how you describe things now, you aren't really anymore. If you want to be close with your cousin again, texting occasionally and seeing one another a few times a year isn't how you maintain closeness. I'm guessing she just forgot all about your text, made plans to hang out with friends, and only remembered you were coming when she saw you. She now feels a little bad and is testing out the waters to see if you're upset.

No she disnt forget. Our mutual friend texted me to say she heard I was going to go. So there is no way she forgot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ By the way, if it were me, I would ask her what's up. Not telling you she was going is super weird (even if she decided last minute) and it means something is up.

She sounds like a b****.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's not your cousin, maybe it's her husband that doesn't like you

Maybe there were issues with her friends you don't know about.

Don't assume.