If a couple doesn’t want more kids and consider surgical options, who should do it. Husband or wife?

[Anonymous]

Are vascectomies way more common than I thought? Or are they common in this area? We have one child and use condoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are vascectomies way more common than I thought? Or are they common in this area? We have one child and use condoms.

It could be that they’re more common in this area (I’ve spent most of my life here, so I’m not sure), but I also think 1) most people don’t talk about them and 2) most people don’t get them until they’re ~40+. So depending on how old you are, it might not be coming up much yet in your friend circle... if they’d even discuss it. I posted above that my husband will probably get one this year— he’s 49.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are vascectomies way more common than I thought? Or are they common in this area? We have one child and use condoms.

It could be that they’re more common in this area (I’ve spent most of my life here, so I’m not sure), but I also think 1) most people don’t talk about them and 2) most people don’t get them until they’re ~40+. So depending on how old you are, it might not be coming up much yet in your friend circle... if they’d even discuss it. I posted above that my husband will probably get one this year— he’s 49.

Yeah, most people get them when they’re 110% sure they’re DONE. So (except IME with a 3rd C/S or a 2nd in 40+ mom) usually not immediately after the last kid. You can be pretty sure, but usually don’t get snipped until the youngest kid is at least 5.

[Anonymous]

My DH wanted to stop after 2 children. I would have liked 3 but didn’t want another if he was not on board. So, I felt he should get a vasectomy and he agreed.

[Anonymous]

My DH is hesitant to get a vasectomy, and I don't want to push him because I'll feel awful if he gets one and there's any complication. We've been using condoms since my youngest was born more than 3 years ago. I'm really over condoms, and frankly, it has made it harder for me to enjoy sex because I worry about the condom breaking or coming off.

I know it's not an invasive surgery, but it still is surgery, and there are small risks associated with it. I think it's a little unfair to say it's no big deal. On the other hand, I think DH should step up and get one.

[Anonymous]

Has to be wife. Husband needs to be intact in case there's a wife #2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is hesitant to get a vasectomy, and I don't want to push him because I'll feel awful if he gets one and there's any complication. We've been using condoms since my youngest was born more than 3 years ago. I'm really over condoms, and frankly, it has made it harder for me to enjoy sex because I worry about the condom breaking or coming off.

I know it's not an invasive surgery, but it still is surgery, and there are small risks associated with it. I think it's a little unfair to say it's no big deal. On the other hand, I think DH should step up and get one.

Condoms are awful. Seems there are risks with pregnancy and childbirth. I'm sure your body has changed to some extent. His turn.

More men should step up without a fight. So many are selfish wimps.

-A snipped man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is hesitant to get a vasectomy, and I don't want to push him because I'll feel awful if he gets one and there's any complication. We've been using condoms since my youngest was born more than 3 years ago. I'm really over condoms, and frankly, it has made it harder for me to enjoy sex because I worry about the condom breaking or coming off.

I know it's not an invasive surgery, but it still is surgery, and there are small risks associated with it. I think it's a little unfair to say it's no big deal. On the other hand, I think DH should step up and get one.

You're hopelessly ignorant.

[Anonymous]

My husband had a vasectomy. It was super easy. 4 years later it failed and we had a second kid who was breech so had to have a c section and I had them tie my tubes since they were in there anyway. Considering we have experienced both, the vasectomy was way less invasive and easier so it should be him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is hesitant to get a vasectomy, and I don't want to push him because I'll feel awful if he gets one and there's any complication. We've been using condoms since my youngest was born more than 3 years ago. I'm really over condoms, and frankly, it has made it harder for me to enjoy sex because I worry about the condom breaking or coming off.

I know it's not an invasive surgery, but it still is surgery, and there are small risks associated with it. I think it's a little unfair to say it's no big deal. On the other hand, I think DH should step up and get one.

It literally barely qualifies as surgery. Seriously. He’s awake the whole time, they make a minor incision, snip tie and burn and he’s done. It takes 20 minutes. You guys are hyping the drama way too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband should do it.

Signed,
A husband who did it

Bonus: one less thing to worry about when you do it with your AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband. Not only is it less invasive, the woman has already beared the burden of the birth control for decades (usually).

+1

It’s really the least he could do.

[Anonymous]

Husband. Because 1 - Vasectomy is a less serious surgery. And 2 - she did the work and recovery of the pregnancy. His turn.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the vasectomy doesn't stop pregnancy, it just changes the color of the baby

[Anonymous]

WHY is this even a question? The answer is obvious. Have you nothing else to think/talk about?