If a couple doesn’t want more kids and consider surgical options, who should do it. Husband or wife?

[Anonymous]

I’ve just started thinking about this and I’ve been talking to lots of different groups. The consensus amongst all my circles is that it’s on the husband to do this. To refuse is considered a dick move.

[Anonymous]

My DH refuses. It is a dick move.

I asked my OB about a tubal because I was dumb and didn’t get it done when I had a c-section. My OB hasn’t done one in years (since most DHs aren’t dicks like that) and became damn near irate that DH is refusing a vasectomy and instead would prefer I have a fourth abdominal surgery (or stay on BC). OB wanted me to bring DH in for a lecture but not only would it not work, it would also probably get ugly.

The answer is the husband should get the non-invasive, minimally painful vasectomy.

[Anonymous]

Yet another vote for husband, since we’re obviously talking cis/hetero. My dad had one in his 40s and I remember my BFF told me her dad did the same.

DH has always taken it as a given, and not due to pressure from me, it’s just like, yeah duh, of course it falls to me. I think I’m ready to give him the green light on a vasectomy this year.

I am also paranoid about getting pregnant, so I will be leaving my iud (copper, zero issues) in probably until menopause lol... (I’m 41)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH refuses. It is a dick move.

I asked my OB about a tubal because I was dumb and didn’t get it done when I had a c-section. My OB hasn’t done one in years (since most DHs aren’t dicks like that) and became damn near irate that DH is refusing a vasectomy and instead would prefer I have a fourth abdominal surgery (or stay on BC). OB wanted me to bring DH in for a lecture but not only would it not work, it would also probably get ugly.

The answer is the husband should get the non-invasive, minimally painful vasectomy.

Why do you stay married to a dick?

[Anonymous]

I think the spouse who wants it more should but its a bad idea in case of divorce if they want to have more kids in the future.

[Anonymous]

In general, the DH should for all the reasons mentioned. I had my tubes out during my last c section and am super glad. If I didn’t, I’d insist my DH get snipped or we’d be doing condoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH refuses. It is a dick move.

I asked my OB about a tubal because I was dumb and didn’t get it done when I had a c-section. My OB hasn’t done one in years (since most DHs aren’t dicks like that) and became damn near irate that DH is refusing a vasectomy and instead would prefer I have a fourth abdominal surgery (or stay on BC). OB wanted me to bring DH in for a lecture but not only would it not work, it would also probably get ugly.

The answer is the husband should get the non-invasive, minimally painful vasectomy.

Why do you stay married to a dick?

I probably won’t forever. But while DCUM likes to make it sound as easy as a wave of a pen across some papers, breaking up your family is difficult, expensive, painful, emotionally devastating, and logistically challenging, among other things. I spend a lot of time questioning which side of the equation is worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the spouse who wants it more should but its a bad idea in case of divorce if they want to have more kids in the future.

If they’re done having kids, they’re done having kids. If they think they might possibly have kids in the future with their spouse or anyone else, they shouldn’t get the surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the spouse who wants it more should but its a bad idea in case of divorce if they want to have more kids in the future.

If they’re done having kids, they’re done having kids. If they think they might possibly have kids in the future with their spouse or anyone else, they shouldn’t get the surgery.

Yeah, I don’t get “I’m done having kids with THIS person, but I want to keep my options open.”

[Anonymous]

My dh refuses so we will prob have a 4th kid and I will have the tubal during the csection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH refuses. It is a dick move.

I asked my OB about a tubal because I was dumb and didn’t get it done when I had a c-section. My OB hasn’t done one in years (since most DHs aren’t dicks like that) and became damn near irate that DH is refusing a vasectomy and instead would prefer I have a fourth abdominal surgery (or stay on BC). OB wanted me to bring DH in for a lecture but not only would it not work, it would also probably get ugly.

The answer is the husband should get the non-invasive, minimally painful vasectomy.

Why do you stay married to a dick?

I probably won’t forever. But while DCUM likes to make it sound as easy as a wave of a pen across some papers, breaking up your family is difficult, expensive, painful, emotionally devastating, and logistically challenging, among other things. I spend a lot of time questioning which side of the equation is worse.

Why not just stop having sex with him? Or make him wear a condom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH refuses. It is a dick move.

I asked my OB about a tubal because I was dumb and didn’t get it done when I had a c-section. My OB hasn’t done one in years (since most DHs aren’t dicks like that) and became damn near irate that DH is refusing a vasectomy and instead would prefer I have a fourth abdominal surgery (or stay on BC). OB wanted me to bring DH in for a lecture but not only would it not work, it would also probably get ugly.

The answer is the husband should get the non-invasive, minimally painful vasectomy.

Why do you stay married to a dick?

I probably won’t forever. But while DCUM likes to make it sound as easy as a wave of a pen across some papers, breaking up your family is difficult, expensive, painful, emotionally devastating, and logistically challenging, among other things. I spend a lot of time questioning which side of the equation is worse.

Why not just stop having sex with him? Or make him wear a condom?

Yeah, if he can’t get snipped he can wear condoms. Every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH refuses. It is a dick move.

I asked my OB about a tubal because I was dumb and didn’t get it done when I had a c-section. My OB hasn’t done one in years (since most DHs aren’t dicks like that) and became damn near irate that DH is refusing a vasectomy and instead would prefer I have a fourth abdominal surgery (or stay on BC). OB wanted me to bring DH in for a lecture but not only would it not work, it would also probably get ugly.

The answer is the husband should get the non-invasive, minimally painful vasectomy.

Why the hell are you still on birth control? Make him wear condoms instead. Why the women put up with this shit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH refuses. It is a dick move.

I asked my OB about a tubal because I was dumb and didn’t get it done when I had a c-section. My OB hasn’t done one in years (since most DHs aren’t dicks like that) and became damn near irate that DH is refusing a vasectomy and instead would prefer I have a fourth abdominal surgery (or stay on BC). OB wanted me to bring DH in for a lecture but not only would it not work, it would also probably get ugly.

The answer is the husband should get the non-invasive, minimally painful vasectomy.

Why the hell are you still on birth control? Make him wear condoms instead. Why the women put up with this shit?

Because he will refuse to wear a condom, they will stop having sex altogether, and DCUM will blame the wife and tell the DH that she “opened the marriage” and the FH is greenlit to stick his unsnapped babymaker in a 26 year old hoping to Second Wife him once the youngest is in grade school.

[Anonymous]

Husband should do it.

Signed,
A husband who did it