Reassuring DD about inevitable scar after surgery

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old son went through a massive growth spurt, and the vertical growth gave him horizontal stretch marks across his back, just under his shoulder blades to hip, all the way across. They are red and pink and shiny. He was horrified. I researched a bit and found they’ll fade some, but he’ll have the marks forever. He is self conscious of course, and he is asked about them every time he changes, his shirt rides up, or he swims. After answering his good friends honestly about what they are he has now gone the story route - generally his story is that he was kidnapped by pirates and whipped. He still looks at them sometimes and will ask if they’ll get better, but he is coming to terms with it.

I have a facial scar that bothered me tremendously when I was a tween. My mom bought me makeup for it - I rarely used it but it helped to know I could when I wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Tina Fey is a great example, as is British actress Amanda Redman. https://www.cbtrust.org.uk/2019/06/04/an-interview-with-burn-survivor-amanda-redman-mbe/

But as a mom of a child born with a congenital condition that has and will require several surgeries, I would seek an additional opinion. It can be inconvenient, but worthwhile. We did that when a surgeon here in DC wanted to do a two surgery routine with my child (and both surgeries required extensive diet and activity limitations). We sought an opinion at Boston Children’s and thankfully managed to accomplish the goal in one surgery. Yes, big hassle to travel and to stay there for 10 days, etc, but worthwhile for the confidence we had in the surgeon and her approach. (I mean, at the same time, my child does have permanent scars on face, stomach and back, but my point is about seeking another opinion!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she has an imagination, allow her to make up fun/funny stories about how she got the scar. Shark attack. Alligator feeding.

My ds has a scar on his belly from abdominal surgery when he was a baby. I’ve always told him to say that it’s from a knife fight in Tijuana . I’m hoping he’ll use that line when he’s older!

[Anonymous]

Current lasers can fade scars to a huge huge degree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, PPs. (And I'm sorry for what your kids went through.) The doctor said that the scar will be permanent and there's nothing that can really be done about it afterward or down the road. I will definitely add the "bad ass/survivor" view to our conversation!

He sounds like a real peach. Is getting a plastic surgeon involved an option?

And while it may always be there, I will echo the other PP - staying out of the sun and religiously using Maderma and Vitamin E for a long time does help.

He's a pediatric dermatologist who deals with vascular malformations, and he was sympathetic but direct, so I assumed he was telling it straight and not sugarcoating.

FWIW my normal derm who I see for both cosmetic and medical purposes referred me to someone who does reconstructive/surgical derm to have a larger mole removed because the latter was more capable of doing the removal in a way that minimized the scarring. Not all derms have the same surgical tools/abilities.

The surgical derm also gave me several suggestions to minimize the already reduced scar, including the sunscreen point and some recent literature/trial data that showed massaging scars after the acute healing phase can break up the scar tissue and reduce visual appearance (and that vitamin e only benefits because the person is regularly massaging it with a moisturizer).

[Anonymous]

I would get a plastic surgeon who does facial work do the sutures/closing (they are used to using incredibly fine sutures and aim hard for minimal scaring) .