How did your spouse (or you) resolve long-term unemployment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs to get a job, any job, $10/hour job. That is non negotiable.

Not OP but another poster with the same problem. I've tried to get my husband to do this. He just won't. He knows I won't follow through on a threat to divorce because of spousal support and the high costs of moving and starting again.

I don't know if OP's husband is like this but mine claims that if he took a job like this I would feel more contempt for him than I would if he was just sitting around. It's not true in my case; I'd be grateful he showed character and stepped up. But I think it's a danger of long-term unemployment- people are so isolated they lose perspective about how normal people live.

[Anonymous]

Change the sex on some of the lazy/depressed husband stories and the women would go crazy about how unfair and unsympathetic the working partner was being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Change the sex on some of the lazy/depressed husband stories and the women would go crazy about how unfair and unsympathetic the working partner was being.

A stay-at-home mom/wife would in almost cases be the default parent for all the daily shit that a family requires. That's not the case here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change the sex on some of the lazy/depressed husband stories and the women would go crazy about how unfair and unsympathetic the working partner was being.

A stay-at-home mom/wife would in almost cases be the default parent for all the daily shit that a family requires. That's not the case here.

Not if she was depressed.

[Anonymous]

What if OP puts him on a sort of allowance? Nothing extravagant. Maybe $1,000 a month, free and clear, simply for him to with as he pleases. Think of it as "mad money." Would that help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if OP puts him on a sort of allowance? Nothing extravagant. Maybe $1,000 a month, free and clear, simply for him to with as he pleases. Think of it as "mad money." Would that help?

Who has that kind of money to throw away?

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if OP puts him on a sort of allowance? Nothing extravagant. Maybe $1,000 a month, free and clear, simply for him to with as he pleases. Think of it as "mad money." Would that help?

Who has that kind of money to throw away?

OP said she is very, very well to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if OP puts him on a sort of allowance? Nothing extravagant. Maybe $1,000 a month, free and clear, simply for him to with as he pleases. Think of it as "mad money." Would that help?

Who has that kind of money to throw away?

89% of DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people enjoy having leisure time and a reasonably comfortable life free of the drudgery of work. Why is that hard to understand?

It’s easy to understand, if you are OK with attaining that leisure at another’s great expense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if OP puts him on a sort of allowance? Nothing extravagant. Maybe $1,000 a month, free and clear, simply for him to with as he pleases. Think of it as "mad money." Would that help?

Who has that kind of money to throw away?

That’s 3x what my college kid in Boston gets per month
No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if OP puts him on a sort of allowance? Nothing extravagant. Maybe $1,000 a month, free and clear, simply for him to with as he pleases. Think of it as "mad money." Would that help?

Who has that kind of money to throw away?

OP said she is very, very well to do.

I missed that. If that's the case, then why not leave him? He'll figure his life out when he no longer has OP to take care of him. And I doubt any judge will award him as much as he thinks.

[Anonymous]

Mine was unemployed. Started his own business 3 years later which is highly successful. Took about another 4 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if OP puts him on a sort of allowance? Nothing extravagant. Maybe $1,000 a month, free and clear, simply for him to with as he pleases. Think of it as "mad money." Would that help?

Who has that kind of money to throw away?

OP said she is very, very well to do.

This is OP. I'm definitely NOT well to do! I don't know where you got that. I make like $115k and support four people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if OP puts him on a sort of allowance? Nothing extravagant. Maybe $1,000 a month, free and clear, simply for him to with as he pleases. Think of it as "mad money." Would that help?

m


WTF?

Also, how would the resolve long term unemployment?