S/O regret having kids—“fun” things aren’t fun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Readers: remember this when someone says the easiest route is to have only one child.

Ever since my two we’re out of diapers, we’ve had terrific trips. They can entertain each other happily anywhere. 10 and 13.

Oh please. That is more about their personalities, age difference, and stage they're in. In other words, luck. So many people complain about how their kids fight incessantly or one is easygoing and the other isn't.

Also, not everyone travels well. I've traveled with many different people, some were good friends and I didn't realize what a PITA they would be on a trip. You have to be very flexible to travel well. The OP's kid sounds like he's not that type or maybe is just in a phase where nothing makes him happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am truly happy when I see my young kid (3 year old) is having fun & smiling even though he makes me tired mentally & physically. I enjoy taking him outdoors for a few hours because it is less exhausting & considered a break for me watching him to play with others rather me playing with him at home.

DH does not enjoy that much taking kid outdoor to play at kiddy playground, bounce house because he does not think it is fun at all "to him". He would rather drive hours & taking kid to "places that adults can enjoy as well, like zoo/aquarium/carnival even though we have to push the stroller most of the time up/down the hill, hot & humid outside, super crowded & carry him & he is not tall enough for most of the ride. To me, it is not that fun at all, and kind of long hours & exhausting. It is so difficult to please DH. DH wants to travel to europe but I don't want to carry carseat/stroller & worry about him getting sick/jet lag/ruin his sleeping habit & so on etc.

You are obviously the OP of the other thread where it's clear you hate your DH and think he's a crappy father. Newsflash: It's probably clear to him too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like you all are my people! I can plan the most fun vacation, but it's sort of just misery for me. Everyone's sleep is off, no on naps and I'm just "on" 24/7 which is draining.

The worst trips we've had have been to visit grandparents. Grandparents have such high expectations for my kids to behave well, zero activities planned and they're disappointed anytime we try to leave the house. It's as though they thought my toddlers would love to just sit on the couch an converse with them for 3 days. Or calmly bake cookies or whatever. Instead my kids are melting down because they had to sleep on the ground and have been cooped up in a tiny house for hours. WHY won't grandparents let us leave the house!? omg it's bad. Grandparents are upset when we try to plan adventures, even if it's the playground for an hour (But "great aunt edna is coming over to visit with the kids and she doesn't go outside!") And then we try to visit great grandparents in nursing homes and it goes from bad to worse. Toddlers basically on a rampage trying to pull oxygen cords off and rip stuff off the walls. At home my kids are lovely, calm, well rested and we have so much fun. They even hate grandparents' food (I do too! hah).

I'm sorry but if I have to choose between shitty family visits or Disney world, I'm picking Disney world every time. Grandparents can just come visit us instead.

OMG. SO this. My mom is always like, I'm planning to make this elaborate fish dish that will take 2 hours (even though she's a terrible cook by her own admission) and I want to hang out w/ my grand kids, so please please don't go to the playground while I'm cooking... WTF does she think 2 little kids are going to do in her stuffed to the gils with breakables apartment for hours on end. Or her building has a swimming pool and I'm like, perfect. And she's like, I figured they'd have had enough of the pool at other grandparent's house and it's too complicated, so we just won't do that. WTF. You figure they'd have had enough of the pool (which we don't have), but would want to hang around your apartment?!

[Anonymous]

the most fun I've had with young kids is at all inclusives where we mostly stay on the resort but get to eat at buffets which is easier with kids than restaurants. And they have a kids club on site to give us a break. At least I don't have to cook, the scenery is pretty and the pool is nice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the most fun I've had with young kids is at all inclusives where we mostly stay on the resort but get to eat at buffets which is easier with kids than restaurants. And they have a kids club on site to give us a break. At least I don't have to cook, the scenery is pretty and the pool is nice

This. No cooking or cleaning. Pools and buffers so food is fast and easy.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 8 and 11 and while I love traveling with them, traveling alone/with DH is way better.

Op, I think you need to:

1). Lower your expectations - you’re not going to have a carefree, relaxing vacation with your child because he is a child. He won’t be able to walk as far or for as long, or go without food like an adult can.
2.) set him up for success - does he get hangry (my 8yo does)? Make sure you have a snack on you. Too much walking? Plan some breaks-or be prepared to take breaks. Want to go to an art museum and he couldn’t care less about art? Go for a set amount of time, or to see a specific exhibit and then go and do something fun for him like go to a park.

When we travel as a family, I insist on getting out and doing stuff as early as possible in the morning, then taking a break/rest after lunch and then maybe doing something before dinner. My oldest was and always has been an easy going kid, never complains, eats whatever, willing to do whatever. Younger dc is more whiny and opinionated so we waited until he was older before doing trips with longer flights, more walking, etc.