Middle School Sleepover -- How much sleep happens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez. Allow your kid to make a few memories, OP. So she doesn't get a solid 8 hours. It is not the end of the world. Unclench, mama. Your child is five years away from going to college. She will be staying up all night there, and you won't be able to do a thing about it. Let her learn to navigate her own internal clock, and learn how to manage it.

There will also be tons of sex and booze at college, so should she also make sure that’s available at sleepovers? Your reasoning makes no sense. There’s a reason teens have more stringent rules than college students.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you child knows that she needs that much sleep, as do you, then I can’t imagine that sleepovers are actually that fun for her. So, give her an out, and pick her up at 1230 or whatever, and only do later evenings at your house instead of sleepovers.

For me, we don’t have a child that has high sleep needs. Sleepovers are special events, and part of the fun is seeing how late you can stay up. Most kids will doze off or do what their bodies need. Turning lights off and taking away electronics at x time is reasonable, but heck.. my mom did that 30 years ago and we used to just lay in our sleeping bags and chat, talk about our celebrity crushes, do spooky stories.. whatever.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm with you. My kid needs sleep, and nearly every time she has a late night sleepover and doesn't get enough sleep she will get sick within a few days with cough, cold, asthma kicking up, etc., feeling pretty awful and missing several days of school. She also is a social introvert and loves being around friends but really maxes out and needs quiet and sleep by 11 or 12. It's just who she is.

Do what works for your kid. I like the PPs' ideas to pick her up earlyish and bring her home. We've done that a time or two so she can still be included, and it was no big deal to her or her friends. We also know which kids' parents will encourage a lights out time, and which won't, and plan accordingly. And we make sure she has plenty of other chances to socialize with friends, like meeting up for a fun activity, dinner, having friends over, etc. Not doing a lot of all-night sleepovers has not affected her social life.