Donor embryo, how do you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The lack of understanding of genetics on this thread amazes me. Genetics is not a crap shoot. Look at all the families whose kids are just like them in so many ways. And the families who generation after generation have been healthy and stable. There’s always the exception that proves the rule.
So here you have a single mom (couldn’t find anyone to be with and waited to do infertility treatments late?) and a mixed race dad. Both are “students.” And the embryo is on sale. Unfortunately I remember the “sale” products the RE and adoption agencies offered us. Didn’t turn out well for those who agreed to that. I wish they didn’t take advantage while telling you they were doing you a favor. But that’s how it goes.
You will spend far more $$ with the unknown factor— the lack of information is a flag to me in this case. Especially since you could easily use an embryo with more information provided.

I literally cannot think of a family that has been healthy and stable generation after generation. Can you name some?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The lack of understanding of genetics on this thread amazes me. Genetics is not a crap shoot. Look at all the families whose kids are just like them in so many ways. And the families who generation after generation have been healthy and stable. There’s always the exception that proves the rule.
So here you have a single mom (couldn’t find anyone to be with and waited to do infertility treatments late?) and a mixed race dad. Both are “students.” And the embryo is on sale. Unfortunately I remember the “sale” products the RE and adoption agencies offered us. Didn’t turn out well for those who agreed to that. I wish they didn’t take advantage while telling you they were doing you a favor. But that’s how it goes.
You will spend far more $$ with the unknown factor— the lack of information is a flag to me in this case. Especially since you could easily use an embryo with more information provided.

You were in such a hurry to push your agenda that you did not even bother to go through OP's first post. Both the egg and sperm come from young donors. Newsflash: many donors are young people in college and would have presumably graduated and moved on in life if they donated years ago . Try to read next time before commenting unintelligently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thank you all for the thoughts and the well-wishes. PP wrote: "You can’t control what you think you can by choosing the perfect donors." I think this is an imp. realization and one we will have to be comfortable with bc my eggs are out no matter what.

Someone else posed if we tried 2 cycles of donor egg and it didnt work how would we feel about donor embryo. We would 100% be kicking ourselves for walking away from this opportunity. These embryo's were created by a single mom who had success with 1 of the embryos from the cohort and was done. The grades are 4AA, 3AA and 4AB so high-quality. Our RE says this has a very high probability for success.

What I have realized is I haven’t had some lightning flash -- yes this is right, this is OUR embryo. Its more: on balance, weighing the options, this is the best move forward. I have decided I am fine with that being my emotional status and its okay that I dont have some TV moment of certainty at this point.

Here the OP states the embryo was created by a single mom. So not a couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lack of understanding of genetics on this thread amazes me. Genetics is not a crap shoot. Look at all the families whose kids are just like them in so many ways. And the families who generation after generation have been healthy and stable. There’s always the exception that proves the rule.
So here you have a single mom (couldn’t find anyone to be with and waited to do infertility treatments late?) and a mixed race dad. Both are “students.” And the embryo is on sale. Unfortunately I remember the “sale” products the RE and adoption agencies offered us. Didn’t turn out well for those who agreed to that. I wish they didn’t take advantage while telling you they were doing you a favor. But that’s how it goes.
You will spend far more $$ with the unknown factor— the lack of information is a flag to me in this case. Especially since you could easily use an embryo with more information provided.

I literally cannot think of a family that has been healthy and stable generation after generation. Can you name some?

I’m surrounded by them. Sorry if you are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lack of understanding of genetics on this thread amazes me. Genetics is not a crap shoot. Look at all the families whose kids are just like them in so many ways. And the families who generation after generation have been healthy and stable. There’s always the exception that proves the rule.
So here you have a single mom (couldn’t find anyone to be with and waited to do infertility treatments late?) and a mixed race dad. Both are “students.” And the embryo is on sale. Unfortunately I remember the “sale” products the RE and adoption agencies offered us. Didn’t turn out well for those who agreed to that. I wish they didn’t take advantage while telling you they were doing you a favor. But that’s how it goes.
You will spend far more $$ with the unknown factor— the lack of information is a flag to me in this case. Especially since you could easily use an embryo with more information provided.

I literally cannot think of a family that has been healthy and stable generation after generation. Can you name some?

I’m surrounded by them. Sorry if you are not.

NP here.
Really? You are surrounded by families where generations are completely unaffected by heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure, Alzheimer's, mental illness, depression, anxiety, diabetes, etc? You know multiple families where generations upon generations of them have lived into their nineties and all died of old age, with not a single sign of disease? I find that hard to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thank you all for the thoughts and the well-wishes. PP wrote: "You can’t control what you think you can by choosing the perfect donors." I think this is an imp. realization and one we will have to be comfortable with bc my eggs are out no matter what.

Someone else posed if we tried 2 cycles of donor egg and it didnt work how would we feel about donor embryo. We would 100% be kicking ourselves for walking away from this opportunity. These embryo's were created by a single mom who had success with 1 of the embryos from the cohort and was done. The grades are 4AA, 3AA and 4AB so high-quality. Our RE says this has a very high probability for success.

What I have realized is I haven’t had some lightning flash -- yes this is right, this is OUR embryo. Its more: on balance, weighing the options, this is the best move forward. I have decided I am fine with that being my emotional status and its okay that I dont have some TV moment of certainty at this point.

Here the OP states the embryo was created by a single mom. So not a couple.

So?

[Anonymous]

I am not sure it matters who the other ppl who created these embryos or are now parents to babies related to these embryos. What matters (if you think genes matter) are the donor profiles and whether they are a fit.

But people's lives hinge much more on the people they will spend it with. My sister's husband was adopted through a private adoption in the 1960s; he had a sister who was also adopted but from a different family. They both knew about their adoption their whole lives, care deeply for their parents but had natural curiosity about their relatives. Recently through 23&me and ancestry.com both he and his sister were able to identify some relatives. It was a nice experience to connect with them but it will always be a loose connection, not family forever. My sister's husband was raised in the NE and is highly educated (terminal degree) and liberal. These relations are also educated but live in the west and are v. conservative. He's very happy about how his own life turned out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lack of understanding of genetics on this thread amazes me. Genetics is not a crap shoot. Look at all the families whose kids are just like them in so many ways. And the families who generation after generation have been healthy and stable. There’s always the exception that proves the rule.
So here you have a single mom (couldn’t find anyone to be with and waited to do infertility treatments late?) and a mixed race dad. Both are “students.” And the embryo is on sale. Unfortunately I remember the “sale” products the RE and adoption agencies offered us. Didn’t turn out well for those who agreed to that. I wish they didn’t take advantage while telling you they were doing you a favor. But that’s how it goes.
You will spend far more $$ with the unknown factor— the lack of information is a flag to me in this case. Especially since you could easily use an embryo with more information provided.

I literally cannot think of a family that has been healthy and stable generation after generation. Can you name some?

I’m surrounded by them. Sorry if you are not.

You're surrounded by people you don't know well, apparently.

Peace be upon you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% do it. The generation of kids into which this child will be born is going to have an experience of racial complexity that will rival any before it. Having kids who are racially or ethnically different from their parents, one or both, will be a part of that. And IMO it has the potential to be amazing, for them and for us as their parents.

Embrace it. Good luck, OP!

love this

This is OP. I agree with you that baby from this set of embryos will be very mainstream for its age cohort; the caucasian ancestry of the female donor comes from 2 of the largest population groups in America. It would be the perfect Gen. Z baby.

For the person who asked which clinic - its one in Philadelphia. We live in DMV and worked first with Shady Grove (really awful, pulled me off course when I was still late 30s and had a good chance w/own eggs) and then Columbia fertility (Dr. Sachs was lovely but expensive). I have family in Philadelphia and work flexibility so arranged my schedule for monitoring.

[Anonymous]

OP you made your decision. Congrats!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lack of understanding of genetics on this thread amazes me. Genetics is not a crap shoot. Look at all the families whose kids are just like them in so many ways. And the families who generation after generation have been healthy and stable. There’s always the exception that proves the rule.
So here you have a single mom (couldn’t find anyone to be with and waited to do infertility treatments late?) and a mixed race dad. Both are “students.” And the embryo is on sale. Unfortunately I remember the “sale” products the RE and adoption agencies offered us. Didn’t turn out well for those who agreed to that. I wish they didn’t take advantage while telling you they were doing you a favor. But that’s how it goes.
You will spend far more $$ with the unknown factor— the lack of information is a flag to me in this case. Especially since you could easily use an embryo with more information provided.

I literally cannot think of a family that has been healthy and stable generation after generation. Can you name some?

I’m surrounded by them. Sorry if you are not.

NP here.
Really? You are surrounded by families where generations are completely unaffected by heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure, Alzheimer's, mental illness, depression, anxiety, diabetes, etc? You know multiple families where generations upon generations of them have lived into their nineties and all died of old age, with not a single sign of disease? I find that hard to believe.

Sure. But that’s an exaggeration. Having good health does not mean living into your 90s without s blemish. That is a ridiculous exaggeration. Strangely there is more to genetics than health. But enjoy your ignorance.

[Anonymous]

And bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lack of understanding of genetics on this thread amazes me. Genetics is not a crap shoot. Look at all the families whose kids are just like them in so many ways. And the families who generation after generation have been healthy and stable. There’s always the exception that proves the rule.
So here you have a single mom (couldn’t find anyone to be with and waited to do infertility treatments late?) and a mixed race dad. Both are “students.” And the embryo is on sale. Unfortunately I remember the “sale” products the RE and adoption agencies offered us. Didn’t turn out well for those who agreed to that. I wish they didn’t take advantage while telling you they were doing you a favor. But that’s how it goes.
You will spend far more $$ with the unknown factor— the lack of information is a flag to me in this case. Especially since you could easily use an embryo with more information provided.

I literally cannot think of a family that has been healthy and stable generation after generation. Can you name some?

I’m surrounded by them. Sorry if you are not.

NP here.
Really? You are surrounded by families where generations are completely unaffected by heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure, Alzheimer's, mental illness, depression, anxiety, diabetes, etc? You know multiple families where generations upon generations of them have lived into their nineties and all died of old age, with not a single sign of disease? I find that hard to believe.

Sure. But that’s an exaggeration. Having good health does not mean living into your 90s without s blemish. That is a ridiculous exaggeration. Strangely there is more to genetics than health. But enjoy your ignorance.

Sorry, but I'm not ignorant. No need to get insulting.
The PP stated that she's "surrounded" by families that have "been healthy and stable generation after generation". THAT is the comment to which I was replying. Yes, in this day and age, it seems very odd to me to be surrounded by generations of families that have no health issues at all.

[Anonymous]

^^ not sorry and you are ignorant. Many families have been stable generation after generation. It’s a simple fact. They have also been more or less healthy living well into their 80s. Many families like that in the DCUM area. Don’t know where you live. Perhaps it is very polluted where you live and people have short lives?

[Anonymous]

I keep hearing between the lines that on one had a decision has been made but on the other still not comfortable with the Latino part showing up.