Why would A SN Parent Not Pick Up Their Child From School When Called?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I am fully on the side of the parent here, I'm annoyed by the theme that this school might not be the right placement.

Why can't the goal be for the base school to step up to the plate and educate the children assigned to go there? Find a solution, don't just say you can't do it. Instead, school districts prefer to ship kids half way across the county, to schools or centers where they can be quarantined down at the end of dark hallways in closet size classrooms. In classes where they won't receive the same education as their "peers" (term used lightly, since they don't really have the opportunity to have any peers or friends, because they spend 90% of their day in self-contained and live so far away from any of the gen ed kids in the school). Falling further behind educationally and socially every year.

Yes, I know the answer is money. Nobody wants to pay to have resources in place where they are needed. But when it is your child who is suffering due to being forced into an alternative placement because the base school doesn't want to deal, that's not a satisfactory answer.

That could happen, but there's also a chance that the kid will end up in a good private placement with better staff who are better equipped to help the kid involved. The fact that OP's school couldn't deal with this relatively simple situation without calling the police is concerning.

[Anonymous]

Even if someone was trained, this wasn’t a situation to restrain a child. No one was in danger. There was no need to escalate the situation. How is this a crisis? Teacher having something else to do is not a crisis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I am fully on the side of the parent here, I'm annoyed by the theme that this school might not be the right placement.

Why can't the goal be for the base school to step up to the plate and educate the children assigned to go there? Find a solution, don't just say you can't do it. Instead, school districts prefer to ship kids half way across the county, to schools or centers where they can be quarantined down at the end of dark hallways in closet size classrooms. In classes where they won't receive the same education as their "peers" (term used lightly, since they don't really have the opportunity to have any peers or friends, because they spend 90% of their day in self-contained and live so far away from any of the gen ed kids in the school). Falling further behind educationally and socially every year.

Yes, I know the answer is money. Nobody wants to pay to have resources in place where they are needed. But when it is your child who is suffering due to being forced into an alternative placement because the base school doesn't want to deal, that's not a satisfactory answer.

That could happen, but there's also a chance that the kid will end up in a good private placement with better staff who are better equipped to help the kid involved. The fact that OP's school couldn't deal with this relatively simple situation without calling the police is concerning.

Which "good" private placement do you have in mind? The same issues that PP cited with long commutes, isolation from general education peers, watered down curriculum, and low educational expectations exist at private special ed schools too.

The mindset here that if it isn't working, then they need a new school, rather than a new strategy at the current school is concerning. Calling a parent of a child who isn't sick, and isn't suspended to pick them up is illegal. It is a violation of FAPE, and it shows that the school isn't problem solving. Calling the police shows an incredible lack of commitment to the child's physical and emotional safety. The school needs to either figure out a plan to handle the situation with the staff they have, even if that involves reassigning or retraining staff, or they need to bring in outside supports, whether that's a behavior specialist to write a plan, or extra special education staff to provide support.

[Anonymous]

^^^Agree 100%

[Anonymous]

I work with kids like this daily. Many people in our public elementary school are trained to transport or restrain a child. Behavior specialists are available to possibly talk a kid through this type of situation. Last resort, our security guard is on the scene as well but does not touch the child, more or less visible backup.

We might call parents if the child is extremely traumatized and that's the reason they are refusing to come in. But as many PPs have said, we do not typically reinforce refusal behavior by sending them home early to play video games in the comfort of home.

We have called the police, but not for this type of situation. It would have to be a violent, aggressive child who has hurt someone and/or appears to be about to hurt someone, i.e. throwing chairs, trying to bite, etc.

Last, I know of situations where parents of SN kids who were in crisis, or even just sick, refused to answer the phone at all much less come in when we called them. Not common, but it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the people that feel that it was escalation to call the mom, and then call the police, when kid was "just staying on the playground and safe"
The only way to insure the safety would be for one staff person to remain outside with that student.
Unless that kid has a 1-1 aide, that is not something that can happen. Staff have other assignments.
If, as others have suggested, this is building toward an argument that the kid needs a 1-1 aide, then this is the process that has to happen.

I work in special ed, and yes, it can. If the kid won't come in, somebody has to stay outside with him. We've had this happen before. People take shifts--the principal, the program coordinator, related service providers, whoever. Is other stuff not getting done? Yup, but that's too bad. Until you manage to get critical staffing in place or a placement change (the argument for either of which would be supported by a record of such incidents), that's what you have to do. You don't call the parents. And you certainly don't call the police unless there's some kind of weapon involved. Not leaving the playground? Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the people that feel that it was escalation to call the mom, and then call the police, when kid was "just staying on the playground and safe"
The only way to insure the safety would be for one staff person to remain outside with that student.
Unless that kid has a 1-1 aide, that is not something that can happen. Staff have other assignments.
If, as others have suggested, this is building toward an argument that the kid needs a 1-1 aide, then this is the process that has to happen.

I work in special ed, and yes, it can. If the kid won't come in, somebody has to stay outside with him. We've had this happen before. People take shifts--the principal, the program coordinator, related service providers, whoever. Is other stuff not getting done? Yup, but that's too bad. Until you manage to get critical staffing in place or a placement change (the argument for either of which would be supported by a record of such incidents), that's what you have to do. You don't call the parents. And you certainly don't call the police unless there's some kind of weapon involved. Not leaving the playground? Come on.

+1 OP, you say you're a teacher at this school. There's some training needed where you work.

[Anonymous]

Do you have any idea how hard it is to parent this child all the time. The school needs to do its job and care for this child during school hours.

I have taught kids with special needs. Sometimes they need a one on one person. Sometimes there is funding for that staff person. If not, the school has to find a way to make it work.

[Anonymous]

OP is long gone, I suspect and probably hasn't learned anything from this thread on improving the school to meet the needs. I don't think she expected these responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is long gone, I suspect and probably hasn't learned anything from this thread on improving the school to meet the needs. I don't think she expected these responses.

Right?

I worry this is my neighborhood school, where many children are underserved and going to pieces. You have no idea what a child and family -- and school! -- are going through, unless you are on the IEP team. The police called on a 2nd-3rd grader? OMG. That poor child. This thread makes me so ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is long gone, I suspect and probably hasn't learned anything from this thread on improving the school to meet the needs. I don't think she expected these responses.

Right?

I worry this is my neighborhood school, where many children are underserved and going to pieces. You have no idea what a child and family -- and school! -- are going through, unless you are on the IEP team. The police called on a 2nd-3rd grader? OMG. That poor child. This thread makes me so ill.

+1 It's rare to get unanimity on a DCUM thread, but OP's post was egregious and lacked empathy. I hope she does come back and takes some of the suggestions around improved training to heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the people that feel that it was escalation to call the mom, and then call the police, when kid was "just staying on the playground and safe"
The only way to insure the safety would be for one staff person to remain outside with that student.
Unless that kid has a 1-1 aide, that is not something that can happen. Staff have other assignments.
If, as others have suggested, this is building toward an argument that the kid needs a 1-1 aide, then this is the process that has to happen.

I work in special ed, and yes, it can. If the kid won't come in, somebody has to stay outside with him. We've had this happen before. People take shifts--the principal, the program coordinator, related service providers, whoever. Is other stuff not getting done? Yup, but that's too bad. Until you manage to get critical staffing in place or a placement change (the argument for either of which would be supported by a record of such incidents), that's what you have to do. You don't call the parents. And you certainly don't call the police unless there's some kind of weapon involved. Not leaving the playground? Come on.

Yep. I've had more than one meeting with the school social worker cancelled because she was attending to a child in crisis. I wish the school had more staff, but I would certainly never want them to call the police just so they can keep my meeting on time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the people that feel that it was escalation to call the mom, and then call the police, when kid was "just staying on the playground and safe"
The only way to insure the safety would be for one staff person to remain outside with that student.
Unless that kid has a 1-1 aide, that is not something that can happen. Staff have other assignments.
If, as others have suggested, this is building toward an argument that the kid needs a 1-1 aide, then this is the process that has to happen.

I work in special ed, and yes, it can. If the kid won't come in, somebody has to stay outside with him. We've had this happen before. People take shifts--the principal, the program coordinator, related service providers, whoever. Is other stuff not getting done? Yup, but that's too bad. Until you manage to get critical staffing in place or a placement change (the argument for either of which would be supported by a record of such incidents), that's what you have to do. You don't call the parents. And you certainly don't call the police unless there's some kind of weapon involved. Not leaving the playground? Come on.

Yep. I've had more than one meeting with the school social worker cancelled because she was attending to a child in crisis. I wish the school had more staff, but I would certainly never want them to call the police just so they can keep my meeting on time!

+1 And if you have the bad lucky to get an unsympathetic trigger happy policeman, you could have a tragedy on hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the kind of situation that really pisses me off. As the parent of a child with special needs, it bothers me to no end when I hear stories like this about other parents with SN children basically antagonizing the school and administration. It's the child who suffered here. If the parent was indeed a few min away waiting for a repair man (really?) it doesn't take a few minutes to drive and get your kid and bring them home. Sounds to me like a parent trying to prove a point and test the school.

+1

I know someone with SN boys who refused to pick up their child basically all through elementary. The mom would walk the dog instead of going to get her kids - in the other direction! Talk about avoidance.

[Anonymous]

Depending on the function of the child’s behavior, having the parent come to school to get him/her could be a terrible idea and allow the child to think that every time they refuse to do something, mom will come and I get to leave.