Happy with decision to have a second child?

[Anonymous]

OP, some of my friends had a first that was harder. For others, their second was harder. (My best friend says if her second had been her first she would have stopped at one). I have twins so we got two at once (not planned/IVF/etc.) so I've never known what it's like to have only one kid, but I honestly think you may be happier just embracing the family you have and making peace with only having one. You never know what you're going to get with a second, and if the whole idea fills you with dread, why not just be happy with the three of you? I have friends who only have one and several friends who are onlies and they are great. We were considering only having one but got two and didn't have that choice (not that I'm unhappy with my kids, just saying I understand the desire to have an easier life with only one). I personally didn't love the baby stage and I hated being pregnant and I never once considered doing it again after our twins were born. Like have never once, even for a fleeting second, ever wanted to be pregnant or have a baby again. At all. So it's totally ok to be done. Just try to be happy with your decision (whatever it is).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God Forbid something should ever happen to your child, you could look into adopting. That slim chance is not enough reason to have a second.

You cannot be serious. First of all, adoption is an incredibly difficult and expensive process that takes a lot of perserverence and dedication, not to mention years. One doesn't just go out and get a replacement kid if your kid dies. For God's sake.

[Anonymous]

OP, you just never know who the person that you give birth to is going to be until they arrive. You can of course hope for your ideal, but need to also consider how you’d handle the possibility of another difficult personality, special needs, etc.

In my case I had an easy pregnancy and labor and my child has been like Christmas morning since she arrived. I really always wanted more than one kid, but I also had her when I was older and am married to someone with multiple disabilities. I grieved foreclosing that option, but knew that I didn’t have it in me to give that level of care, parent child 1, be a wife, and still be well should child number 2 have arrived with special needs.

[Anonymous]

Yes, happy. Both are challenging children (high energy, low sleep needs) but both are beautiful and smart and sweet. Not gonna lie though, life is definitely a lot harder with two than one. We also had two under two and they are still pretty young, so that made life a bit tougher.