Emergency key/visit key: what are your expectations?

[Anonymous]

My MIL once let herself into our house while we were walking our dog, shortly after we got married. We had no idea she was coming over. When we got home she was in our living room and said, “Oh, I was so worried, I didn’t know where you were!”

We were so uncomfortable with her lack of respect for our privacy. It was bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL once let herself into our house while we were walking our dog, shortly after we got married. We had no idea she was coming over. When we got home she was in our living room and said, “Oh, I was so worried, I didn’t know where you were!”

We were so uncomfortable with her lack of respect for our privacy. It was bizarre.

I have to know what your DH said to her!!! And if you changed the locks after this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone that gives out garage codes- Why doesn’t the door that opens to your home have a deadbolt on it?

I give out garage code (to my parents and in laws) and have a front door with a deadbolt What am I missing?

If a burglar breaks in your garage they have free access right into your home.

Yeah, just like if they break a window, honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws and parents have a key to the house. But they pick up dd from daycare once a week and bring her here before we get home from work.
When they come over for an event or dinner they don't use their key since we are home.
I have keys tonitb their houses and have stopped at both when they were away to check on their house, plants etc (with their knowledge).

This is pretty much us.

Although when the kids were young and my mom was newly retired, she frequently would stop by while I was at work or out running a carpool and she would do a load of laundry and then leave, or drop off some groceries. It worked for us. She never called first. I would just get home and find all the laundry done, folded and ready to put away. It was my little miracle!

So you were in college at the time?

Haven't you ever heard that it takes a village? Why must everybody be so quick to judge? It's a nice favor, one that I'd like to do for my family if I knew they were struggling or had a bad week and small kids. On the flip side, I'd also love somebody to help me out once in a while. It's just a thoughtful gesture.

Relax, it was funny.

DP- don't insult someone and then tell them "relax, it was funny!" when they get miffed by said insult.

NP. Lighten up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws and parents have a key to the house. But they pick up dd from daycare once a week and bring her here before we get home from work.
When they come over for an event or dinner they don't use their key since we are home.
I have keys tonitb their houses and have stopped at both when they were away to check on their house, plants etc (with their knowledge).

This is pretty much us.

Although when the kids were young and my mom was newly retired, she frequently would stop by while I was at work or out running a carpool and she would do a load of laundry and then leave, or drop off some groceries. It worked for us. She never called first. I would just get home and find all the laundry done, folded and ready to put away. It was my little miracle!

So you were in college at the time?

Haven't you ever heard that it takes a village? Why must everybody be so quick to judge? It's a nice favor, one that I'd like to do for my family if I knew they were struggling or had a bad week and small kids. On the flip side, I'd also love somebody to help me out once in a while. It's just a thoughtful gesture.

Relax, it was funny.

Meh, I’m with pp. it was dismissive DCUM snark, like something is wrong if someone actually has a helpful family member. I’d love it if my mother were alive and close enough to help out like that. I don’t understand the expectation that we not only have to “do it all”, but that we also have to do it all alone. If that works for pp and her family, more power to them.

Thanks for the support! That was my post about the mom with the laundry. I thought it was great then and I still think it is great now. Now the shoe is on the other foot and my parents need a little extra help so I'll frequently pop in unannounced to their condo to drop something off or to help with a little chore. It works for us. I'm just happy they're still with us, happy and living good lives. There isn't much more to ask for!

You’re reading a lot into one little joke. -np

Insults =/= jokes

According to humorless people? Maybe. Some of us can actually handle ribbing, dark humor and jokes a bit edgier than one might find in a "Family Circle" comic strip. -NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws and parents have a key to the house. But they pick up dd from daycare once a week and bring her here before we get home from work.
When they come over for an event or dinner they don't use their key since we are home.
I have keys tonitb their houses and have stopped at both when they were away to check on their house, plants etc (with their knowledge).

This is pretty much us.

Although when the kids were young and my mom was newly retired, she frequently would stop by while I was at work or out running a carpool and she would do a load of laundry and then leave, or drop off some groceries. It worked for us. She never called first. I would just get home and find all the laundry done, folded and ready to put away. It was my little miracle!

So you were in college at the time?

Haven't you ever heard that it takes a village? Why must everybody be so quick to judge? It's a nice favor, one that I'd like to do for my family if I knew they were struggling or had a bad week and small kids. On the flip side, I'd also love somebody to help me out once in a while. It's just a thoughtful gesture.

Relax, it was funny.

Meh, I’m with pp. it was dismissive DCUM snark, like something is wrong if someone actually has a helpful family member. I’d love it if my mother were alive and close enough to help out like that. I don’t understand the expectation that we not only have to “do it all”, but that we also have to do it all alone. If that works for pp and her family, more power to them.

Thanks for the support! That was my post about the mom with the laundry. I thought it was great then and I still think it is great now. Now the shoe is on the other foot and my parents need a little extra help so I'll frequently pop in unannounced to their condo to drop something off or to help with a little chore. It works for us. I'm just happy they're still with us, happy and living good lives. There isn't much more to ask for!

You’re reading a lot into one little joke. -np

Insults =/= jokes

According to humorless people? Maybe. Some of us can actually handle ribbing, dark humor and jokes a bit edgier than one might find in a "Family Circle" comic strip. -NP

And apparently, some dislike being "ribbed" and having "dark humor" used at our expense, and when your humor is amusing to YOU but not to the subject that you're "ribbing", then you've crossed the line from joking around to just being mean, and anyone who isn't tone deaf would back off instead of continuing the "ribbing" at that point. Emotional intelligence is a thing.