Am I alone in thinking this is unhealthy/selfish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am always put off by mothers who post a photograph of their child and write something like, “Like mother, like daughter”or “mini Me!”. Something that always brings whatever the child is doing back to themselves - as if the child exists as a reflection. Can’t the child just be or do something without it being about the mother? I have kids and while I do see resemblances, talents and likes that are like DH ormyself, I never make their lives about me.

Why is our generation so self-centered? It’s like everything has to come back to us as mothers.

I think it is so telling and so unhealthy to see those posts.

How is this a "this generation" thing when the expression you complained about "like mother like daughter" is as old as time? Do you have the same grip with "like father like son" or is it just women you hate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your children aren’t you. Post pics about your kids but stop insinuating yourself and how/who you were as a child into the conversation. If you want to talk about yourself - post a photo of yourself! But don’t steal your own child’s thunder by making it about you.

This is not complicated. Why people are arguing with OP is beyond me. Let your child have their own lives! And stop thinking you are a martyr for simply shutting up about yourself!!

There is a wide gulf between parents who don't let their kids be themselves and project their own interest and ambitions on them and a parent who posts a picture of their kid on their own social media and comments on similarities to themselves. I think it is reading a lot to into it to assume the former from the latter universally.

Is there really such a wide gulf? Why bring yourself into your child’s picture at all with any “like mother, like daughter” comment? Let your child have his/her moment!!! No one cares that you loved horses, too. If you want to post about yourself - do it. Post pictures of you riding horses (or whatever). Your child is not you.

This is so bizarre to me. A parent's social media is pretty much about them. It's not like the kid is the audience. It's presumably other adults who know the parent. And relating to your kid in a post to your friends and family doesn't strike me as stealing a kids thunder or whatever.

If you were projecting it at a slideshow at the kid's birthday or something, or if as I said it was symptomatic of other ways in which the child is treated as an extension of the parent, sure, but I really don't see how anything said by a parent on their social media or to the parent's peers really impacts a child the way it is being spun here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your children aren’t you. Post pics about your kids but stop insinuating yourself and how/who you were as a child into the conversation. If you want to talk about yourself - post a photo of yourself! But don’t steal your own child’s thunder by making it about you.

This is not complicated. Why people are arguing with OP is beyond me. Let your child have their own lives! And stop thinking you are a martyr for simply shutting up about yourself!!

There is a wide gulf between parents who don't let their kids be themselves and project their own interest and ambitions on them and a parent who posts a picture of their kid on their own social media and comments on similarities to themselves. I think it is reading a lot to into it to assume the former from the latter universally.

Is there really such a wide gulf? Why bring yourself into your child’s picture at all with any “like mother, like daughter” comment? Let your child have his/her moment!!! No one cares that you loved horses, too. If you want to post about yourself - do it. Post pictures of you riding horses (or whatever). Your child is not you.

This is so bizarre to me. A parent's social media is pretty much about them. It's not like the kid is the audience. It's presumably other adults who know the parent. And relating to your kid in a post to your friends and family doesn't strike me as stealing a kids thunder or whatever.

If you were projecting it at a slideshow at the kid's birthday or something, or if as I said it was symptomatic of other ways in which the child is treated as an extension of the parent, sure, but I really don't see how anything said by a parent on their social media or to the parent's peers really impacts a child the way it is being spun here.

I am stunned that you cannot understand the issue discussed. Stunned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am always put off by mothers who post a photograph of their child and write something like, “Like mother, like daughter”or “mini Me!”. Something that always brings whatever the child is doing back to themselves - as if the child exists as a reflection. Can’t the child just be or do something without it being about the mother? I have kids and while I do see resemblances, talents and likes that are like DH ormyself, I never make their lives about me.

Why is our generation so self-centered? It’s like everything has to come back to us as mothers.

I think it is so telling and so unhealthy to see those posts.

How is this a "this generation" thing when the expression you complained about "like mother like daughter" is as old as time? Do you have the same grip with "like father like son" or is it just women you hate?

Yeah, sorry. NP here and you can’t fall back on women-hating in all issues.

Yes, if I ever saw a man post “like father, like son” I would include it. I, personally, have never seen it from a male’s post. Only mothers.

And like OP, I also think it’s creepy.

[Anonymous]

I have an acquaintance who does this constantly with her poor little girl. Every single picture of her child refers to herself. The mother is very insecure and a social climber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your children aren’t you. Post pics about your kids but stop insinuating yourself and how/who you were as a child into the conversation. If you want to talk about yourself - post a photo of yourself! But don’t steal your own child’s thunder by making it about you.

This is not complicated. Why people are arguing with OP is beyond me. Let your child have their own lives! And stop thinking you are a martyr for simply shutting up about yourself!!

There is a wide gulf between parents who don't let their kids be themselves and project their own interest and ambitions on them and a parent who posts a picture of their kid on their own social media and comments on similarities to themselves. I think it is reading a lot to into it to assume the former from the latter universally.

Is there really such a wide gulf? Why bring yourself into your child’s picture at all with any “like mother, like daughter” comment? Let your child have his/her moment!!! No one cares that you loved horses, too. If you want to post about yourself - do it. Post pictures of you riding horses (or whatever). Your child is not you.

The fact that you’re upset that someone isn’t letting their child have their own “moment” in a social media post is ridiculous. Because social media is basically ridiculous and I’d think most people with half a brain would recognize that it often has very little connection with reality. You need to seriously chill out about this.

Pot. Kettle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. It is so self-centered and insecure of the mothers. Sad, actually.

I agree with OP. The narcissism is rampant.

+2. Your child is a complete and separate being. Constantly getting gratification from making the child an extension of the parent is unhealthy.

The key word here is "constantly." I don't see how making the occasional social media post noting a similarity between parent/child is the same as constantly making the child an extension of yourself. I've always been active in a particular sport, and I'd be psyched if one day down the road my kid developed the same interest, because it's something I'd love to share with her. I'm not going to force her into it, but since the sport came naturally to me, and kids often model their parents' interests, I wouldn't be surprised if she took an interest in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. It is so self-centered and insecure of the mothers. Sad, actually.

I agree with OP. The narcissism is rampant.

+2. Your child is a complete and separate being. Constantly getting gratification from making the child an extension of the parent is unhealthy.

The key word here is "constantly." I don't see how making the occasional social media post noting a similarity between parent/child is the same as constantly making the child an extension of yourself. I've always been active in a particular sport, and I'd be psyched if one day down the road my kid developed the same interest, because it's something I'd love to share with her. I'm not going to force her into it, but since the sport came naturally to me, and kids often model their parents' interests, I wouldn't be surprised if she took an interest in it.

So if your kid loves your sport, let him/her love your sport without bringing yourself into it! Post photos of his/her experience with the sport. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your children aren’t you. Post pics about your kids but stop insinuating yourself and how/who you were as a child into the conversation. If you want to talk about yourself - post a photo of yourself! But don’t steal your own child’s thunder by making it about you.

This is not complicated. Why people are arguing with OP is beyond me. Let your child have their own lives! And stop thinking you are a martyr for simply shutting up about yourself!!

There is a wide gulf between parents who don't let their kids be themselves and project their own interest and ambitions on them and a parent who posts a picture of their kid on their own social media and comments on similarities to themselves. I think it is reading a lot to into it to assume the former from the latter universally.

Is there really such a wide gulf? Why bring yourself into your child’s picture at all with any “like mother, like daughter” comment? Let your child have his/her moment!!! No one cares that you loved horses, too. If you want to post about yourself - do it. Post pictures of you riding horses (or whatever). Your child is not you.

This is so bizarre to me. A parent's social media is pretty much about them. It's not like the kid is the audience. It's presumably other adults who know the parent. And relating to your kid in a post to your friends and family doesn't strike me as stealing a kids thunder or whatever.

If you were projecting it at a slideshow at the kid's birthday or something, or if as I said it was symptomatic of other ways in which the child is treated as an extension of the parent, sure, but I really don't see how anything said by a parent on their social media or to the parent's peers really impacts a child the way it is being spun here.

I am stunned that you cannot understand the issue discussed. Stunned.

I absolutely understand the issue. What I think is odd is this hard line stance that a parent should not see their child in relation to themselves in any way. That a reference to similarities with a parent is inherently negative or diminishing to the child. Particularly on a platform that is meant to be for the parent.

I'm not denying or ignoring that some terrible parents can't see past themselves for the sake of their children. But I think it is too broad a brush to say that you should never comment on shared traits or interests with your child.

[Anonymous]

The mini-me makes me roll my eyes a lot. Especially when it's parents constantly talking about how adorable their kid is then posting how their kid is their mini-me. We get it, you're adorable and so is your kid. Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your children aren’t you. Post pics about your kids but stop insinuating yourself and how/who you were as a child into the conversation. If you want to talk about yourself - post a photo of yourself! But don’t steal your own child’s thunder by making it about you.

This is not complicated. Why people are arguing with OP is beyond me. Let your child have their own lives! And stop thinking you are a martyr for simply shutting up about yourself!!

There is a wide gulf between parents who don't let their kids be themselves and project their own interest and ambitions on them and a parent who posts a picture of their kid on their own social media and comments on similarities to themselves. I think it is reading a lot to into it to assume the former from the latter universally.

Is there really such a wide gulf? Why bring yourself into your child’s picture at all with any “like mother, like daughter” comment? Let your child have his/her moment!!! No one cares that you loved horses, too. If you want to post about yourself - do it. Post pictures of you riding horses (or whatever). Your child is not you.

This is so bizarre to me. A parent's social media is pretty much about them. It's not like the kid is the audience. It's presumably other adults who know the parent. And relating to your kid in a post to your friends and family doesn't strike me as stealing a kids thunder or whatever.

If you were projecting it at a slideshow at the kid's birthday or something, or if as I said it was symptomatic of other ways in which the child is treated as an extension of the parent, sure, but I really don't see how anything said by a parent on their social media or to the parent's peers really impacts a child the way it is being spun here.

I am stunned that you cannot understand the issue discussed. Stunned.

I absolutely understand the issue. What I think is odd is this hard line stance that a parent should not see their child in relation to themselves in any way. That a reference to similarities with a parent is inherently negative or diminishing to the child. Particularly on a platform that is meant to be for the parent.

I'm not denying or ignoring that some terrible parents can't see past themselves for the sake of their children. But I think it is too broad a brush to say that you should never comment on shared traits or interests with your child.

I disagree. I think it is always inappropriate and self-centered. Why not just post a photo of you doing the activity when you were a kid and let your child have his or her own life. You are obviously posting for adults! That has never been in question. But why post a picture of your child but bring it all back to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your children aren’t you. Post pics about your kids but stop insinuating yourself and how/who you were as a child into the conversation. If you want to talk about yourself - post a photo of yourself! But don’t steal your own child’s thunder by making it about you.

This is not complicated. Why people are arguing with OP is beyond me. Let your child have their own lives! And stop thinking you are a martyr for simply shutting up about yourself!!

There is a wide gulf between parents who don't let their kids be themselves and project their own interest and ambitions on them and a parent who posts a picture of their kid on their own social media and comments on similarities to themselves. I think it is reading a lot to into it to assume the former from the latter universally.

Is there really such a wide gulf? Why bring yourself into your child’s picture at all with any “like mother, like daughter” comment? Let your child have his/her moment!!! No one cares that you loved horses, too. If you want to post about yourself - do it. Post pictures of you riding horses (or whatever). Your child is not you.

This is so bizarre to me. A parent's social media is pretty much about them. It's not like the kid is the audience. It's presumably other adults who know the parent. And relating to your kid in a post to your friends and family doesn't strike me as stealing a kids thunder or whatever.

If you were projecting it at a slideshow at the kid's birthday or something, or if as I said it was symptomatic of other ways in which the child is treated as an extension of the parent, sure, but I really don't see how anything said by a parent on their social media or to the parent's peers really impacts a child the way it is being spun here.

I am stunned that you cannot understand the issue discussed. Stunned.

I absolutely understand the issue. What I think is odd is this hard line stance that a parent should not see their child in relation to themselves in any way. That a reference to similarities with a parent is inherently negative or diminishing to the child. Particularly on a platform that is meant to be for the parent.

I'm not denying or ignoring that some terrible parents can't see past themselves for the sake of their children. But I think it is too broad a brush to say that you should never comment on shared traits or interests with your child.

I disagree. I think it is always inappropriate and self-centered. Why not just post a photo of you doing the activity when you were a kid and let your child have his or her own life. You are obviously posting for adults! That has never been in question. But why post a picture of your child but bring it all back to you?

And I disagree with you. If a parent shares a story or a photo about their kid once in a while and point to the similarity to themselves or their partner it is not automatically some narcissistic obsession. It is what normal people who don't over-analyze every parental behavior do sometimes. Obviously this can be taken to an unhealthy extreme, but to say it is ALWAYS inappropriate is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your children aren’t you. Post pics about your kids but stop insinuating yourself and how/who you were as a child into the conversation. If you want to talk about yourself - post a photo of yourself! But don’t steal your own child’s thunder by making it about you.

This is not complicated. Why people are arguing with OP is beyond me. Let your child have their own lives! And stop thinking you are a martyr for simply shutting up about yourself!!

There is a wide gulf between parents who don't let their kids be themselves and project their own interest and ambitions on them and a parent who posts a picture of their kid on their own social media and comments on similarities to themselves. I think it is reading a lot to into it to assume the former from the latter universally.

Is there really such a wide gulf? Why bring yourself into your child’s picture at all with any “like mother, like daughter” comment? Let your child have his/her moment!!! No one cares that you loved horses, too. If you want to post about yourself - do it. Post pictures of you riding horses (or whatever). Your child is not you.

This is so bizarre to me. A parent's social media is pretty much about them. It's not like the kid is the audience. It's presumably other adults who know the parent. And relating to your kid in a post to your friends and family doesn't strike me as stealing a kids thunder or whatever.

If you were projecting it at a slideshow at the kid's birthday or something, or if as I said it was symptomatic of other ways in which the child is treated as an extension of the parent, sure, but I really don't see how anything said by a parent on their social media or to the parent's peers really impacts a child the way it is being spun here.

I am stunned that you cannot understand the issue discussed. Stunned.

And I am stunned by how obsessed you are to defend your opinion and your inability to consider someone else's. But it is entertaining to see how hellbent you are to make your point. I mean, "Stunned." Really??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your children aren’t you. Post pics about your kids but stop insinuating yourself and how/who you were as a child into the conversation. If you want to talk about yourself - post a photo of yourself! But don’t steal your own child’s thunder by making it about you.

This is not complicated. Why people are arguing with OP is beyond me. Let your child have their own lives! And stop thinking you are a martyr for simply shutting up about yourself!!

There is a wide gulf between parents who don't let their kids be themselves and project their own interest and ambitions on them and a parent who posts a picture of their kid on their own social media and comments on similarities to themselves. I think it is reading a lot to into it to assume the former from the latter universally.

Is there really such a wide gulf? Why bring yourself into your child’s picture at all with any “like mother, like daughter” comment? Let your child have his/her moment!!! No one cares that you loved horses, too. If you want to post about yourself - do it. Post pictures of you riding horses (or whatever). Your child is not you.

This is so bizarre to me. A parent's social media is pretty much about them. It's not like the kid is the audience. It's presumably other adults who know the parent. And relating to your kid in a post to your friends and family doesn't strike me as stealing a kids thunder or whatever.

If you were projecting it at a slideshow at the kid's birthday or something, or if as I said it was symptomatic of other ways in which the child is treated as an extension of the parent, sure, but I really don't see how anything said by a parent on their social media or to the parent's peers really impacts a child the way it is being spun here.

I am stunned that you cannot understand the issue discussed. Stunned.

I absolutely understand the issue. What I think is odd is this hard line stance that a parent should not see their child in relation to themselves in any way. That a reference to similarities with a parent is inherently negative or diminishing to the child. Particularly on a platform that is meant to be for the parent.

I'm not denying or ignoring that some terrible parents can't see past themselves for the sake of their children. But I think it is too broad a brush to say that you should never comment on shared traits or interests with your child.

I disagree. I think it is always inappropriate and self-centered. Why not just post a photo of you doing the activity when you were a kid and let your child have his or her own life. You are obviously posting for adults! That has never been in question. But why post a picture of your child but bring it all back to you?

Oh, I'm not arguing that it isn't self-centered (which is the nature of social media). I guess I don't see that as universally inappropriate and I find the universal condemnation odd.

Presumably the kid didn't emerge biologically and socially independent from the parent. If they have a strong physical resemblance or have taken up an interest they were exposed to by the parent, then I don't see the harm in pointing that out or seeing that as a point of connection to your child as long as it is an observation rather than a symptom of a harmful pattern of behavior.