Reply to Am I alone in thinking this is unhealthy/selfish?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Am I alone in thinking this is unhealthy/selfish? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your children aren’t you.  Post pics about your kids but stop insinuating yourself and how/who you were as a child into the conversation.  If you want to talk about yourself - post a photo of yourself!  But don’t steal your own child’s thunder by making it about you.

This is not complicated.  Why people are arguing with OP is beyond me. Let your child have their own lives!  And stop thinking you are a martyr for simply shutting up about yourself!! [/quote]

There is a wide gulf between parents who don't let their kids be themselves and project their own interest and ambitions on them and a parent who posts a picture of their kid on their own social media and comments on similarities to themselves.  I think it is reading a lot to into it to assume the former from the latter universally.[/quote]

Is there really such a wide gulf?  Why bring yourself into your child’s picture at all with any “like mother, like daughter” comment?  Let your child have his/her moment!!! No one cares that you loved horses, too.  If you want to post about yourself - do it.  Post pictures of you riding horses (or whatever).  Your child is not you. [/quote]

This is so bizarre to me.  A parent's social media is pretty much about them. It's not like the kid is the audience.  It's presumably other adults who know the parent.  And relating to your kid in a post to your friends and family doesn't strike me as stealing a kids thunder or whatever.

If you were projecting it at a slideshow at the kid's birthday or something, or if as I said it was symptomatic of other ways in which the  child is treated as an extension of the parent, sure, but I really don't see how anything said by a parent on their social media or to the parent's peers really impacts a child the way it is being spun here.

[/quote]

I am stunned that you cannot understand the issue discussed.  Stunned.  [/quote]

I absolutely understand the issue.  What I think is odd is this hard line stance that a parent should not see their child in relation to themselves in any way.  That a reference to similarities with a parent is inherently negative or diminishing to the child.  Particularly on a platform that is meant to be for the parent.

I'm not denying or ignoring that some terrible parents can't see past themselves for the sake of their children.  But I think it is too broad a brush to say that you should never comment on shared traits or interests with your child.[/quote]

I disagree.  I think it is always inappropriate and self-centered.  Why not just post a photo of you doing the activity when you were a kid and let your child have his or her own life.  You are obviously posting for adults!  That has never been in question.  But why post a picture of your child but bring it all back to you?  [/quote]

Oh, I'm not arguing that it isn't self-centered (which is the nature of social media).  I guess I don't see that as universally inappropriate and I find the universal condemnation odd.

Presumably the kid didn't emerge biologically and socially independent from the parent.  If they have a strong physical resemblance or have taken up an interest they were exposed to by the parent, then I don't see the harm in pointing that out or seeing that as a point of connection to your child as long as it is an observation rather than a symptom of a harmful pattern of behavior.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics