Neighbor offered her nanny to me in a way I don't want (bus stop "supervision")

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - it sounds like after the first interaction, the nanny told her boss that you were willing to pay for her to watch her child. Just call the neighbor and tell her there was a misunderstanding - you thought the nanny was just offering to keep an eye on your kid, but you don't need paid supervision since you can see him out the window.

It's ridiculous that someone would expect to be paid for 10 minutes at a bus stop. Also please talk to your child and explain new rules for the bus stop - he is to stand and wait quietly, no more playing is allowed.

What's wrong with running around the trees? OP can see her kid, so evidently she is fine with whatever he does at the bus stop. Personally, I think burning off some energy is great before school.

New poster here

"The trees" might be on someone else's private property. I know a neighbor of mine would get really upset because the bus stop was in front of her house and parents used to let their kids run her yard, trampling flowers and other damage, while waiting for the bus. This neighbor didn't even have school age children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - it sounds like after the first interaction, the nanny told her boss that you were willing to pay for her to watch her child. Just call the neighbor and tell her there was a misunderstanding - you thought the nanny was just offering to keep an eye on your kid, but you don't need paid supervision since you can see him out the window.

It's ridiculous that someone would expect to be paid for 10 minutes at a bus stop. Also please talk to your child and explain new rules for the bus stop - he is to stand and wait quietly, no more playing is allowed.

What's wrong with running around the trees? OP can see her kid, so evidently she is fine with whatever he does at the bus stop. Personally, I think burning off some energy is great before school.

New poster here

"The trees" might be on someone else's private property. I know a neighbor of mine would get really upset because the bus stop was in front of her house and parents used to let their kids run her yard, trampling flowers and other damage, while waiting for the bus. This neighbor didn't even have school age children.

You're all forgetting that the neighbor's kids used to run around the trees WITH OP's son until she said no to the nanny. So clearly it's not about that.

[Anonymous]

Since you're friendly with the nanny, I think you should talk to her directly: "Have you seen any issues with Mortimer at the bus stop? If he's having issues or making more work for you, I definitely want to know!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - it sounds like after the first interaction, the nanny told her boss that you were willing to pay for her to watch her child. Just call the neighbor and tell her there was a misunderstanding - you thought the nanny was just offering to keep an eye on your kid, but you don't need paid supervision since you can see him out the window.

It's ridiculous that someone would expect to be paid for 10 minutes at a bus stop. Also please talk to your child and explain new rules for the bus stop - he is to stand and wait quietly, no more playing is allowed.

What's wrong with running around the trees? OP can see her kid, so evidently she is fine with whatever he does at the bus stop. Personally, I think burning off some energy is great before school.

New poster here

"The trees" might be on someone else's private property. I know a neighbor of mine would get really upset because the bus stop was in front of her house and parents used to let their kids run her yard, trampling flowers and other damage, while waiting for the bus. This neighbor didn't even have school age children.

You're all forgetting that the neighbor's kids used to run around the trees WITH OP's son until she said no to the nanny. So clearly it's not about that.

I'm exhausted (insomnia last night) so I might have missed something, but the part about the trees that I saw was "Now DC has mentioned that the kids at the stop (all of Nanny's charges) are being quite around him and they aren't allowed to run around the trees anymore. "
Maybe the property owner spoke to the nanny/other parents and said they don't want kids running around on their property. Since OP hasn't been to the bus stop for a few weeks, the property owner wasn't able to speak to her.

[Anonymous]

How old are the other kids?

[Anonymous]

This family in a year is going to expect people bringing their kids over for play dates at their house to pay for the privilege. A nanny's job is to fill in for the parent. A parent would not charge another family for a play date, but I bet this nanny will try to extort money out of all that extra work, disregarding the time their kid is over at the other house and she sits around doing nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

New poster here

"The trees" might be on someone else's private property. I know a neighbor of mine would get really upset because the bus stop was in front of her house and parents used to let their kids run her yard, trampling flowers and other damage, while waiting for the bus. This neighbor didn't even have school age children.

I guess I was assuming that a) OP wouldn't be so inconsiderate as to let her kid run around trees that are on someone's property; or b) the neighbor/nanny would have let OP know if they'd been asked to stay away from the trees due to a request from the owner. But who knows, you could be correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely ignore the neighbor and the nanny. Wow.

+1. Your neighbor is particularly rude. When you were with your kid at the bus stop for 1.5 years you were also watching her kids. That’s just the nature of being an adult at a bus stop.

[Anonymous]

Nanny was already spending that extra $$ in her head. Now she’s pissed. Bus stop is a public thing. She doesn’t get paid extra for that when other kids comes to the stop. If the neighbor has a problem with the trees I’m sure she will let you know !

[Anonymous]

You need to parent your 7 year old and find a way to make it work with more kids. Maybe your kid is acting up when you are not there but you should be out there with him. Lazy parenting. Why have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to parent your 7 year old and find a way to make it work with more kids. Maybe your kid is acting up when you are not there but you should be out there with him. Lazy parenting. Why have kids?

You need to work on your reading comprehension. Mom is watching kid out the window. The school doesn’t require a parent to be at the bus stop past K. Just because you want to helicopter parent doesn’t mean others need to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your son walking to/from the bus stop with the nanny? Like he sees her on the way with her charges and he joins them? Is he waiting until they are walking past to leave your house?

If so, she might feel obligated to watch him, too, and doesn't feel right providing a service to you for free that she charges her employer money for.

If your kid is walking to/from the bus stop by himself, then the nanny is being sort of pushy.

That is ridiculous. What if this wasn't OP's kid but three doors down the other way neighbor who never talks to anyone and who no one has her number. Is nanny taking on every child that uses the bus stop? When nanny is at the playground is she responsible for every kid there, supervised or not? When you are taking care of kids you come across other humans who may or may not be well supervised and you need to deal with the kids you are in charge of in that scenario.

Nanny does not get a pay bump because another kid happens to use the same bus stop. What would she want anyway. This is five minutes a day? Lets say nanny is WELL paid and gets $25 an hour. That is 41 cents a minute. Let's cut that in half since nanny is watching her primary charges. So nanny and neighbor are blowing this up for what amounts to (MAYBE I don't know the breakdown of kids or nanny's actual salary so this is the top estimate) $2.08 a day. $10.41 a week. For 'keeping an eye' on a kid who happens to be standing there while also being watched by his mother down the way. Ridiculous but I suppose great for the nanny if she can add up all this ancillary child supervision she does every time she ever sees a child without their parent in the wild.

If the nanny is walking her charges to/from the bus stop every day and every day Op's son darts out of the house to walk with them, stirring the other kids up and egging them on to play games of chase, then Op's son is being a nuisance and creating more work for the nanny. If this has become a predictable, regular gig for the nanny...yeah, Op should pay her for her time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your son walking to/from the bus stop with the nanny? Like he sees her on the way with her charges and he joins them? Is he waiting until they are walking past to leave your house?

If so, she might feel obligated to watch him, too, and doesn't feel right providing a service to you for free that she charges her employer money for.

If your kid is walking to/from the bus stop by himself, then the nanny is being sort of pushy.

That is ridiculous. What if this wasn't OP's kid but three doors down the other way neighbor who never talks to anyone and who no one has her number. Is nanny taking on every child that uses the bus stop? When nanny is at the playground is she responsible for every kid there, supervised or not? When you are taking care of kids you come across other humans who may or may not be well supervised and you need to deal with the kids you are in charge of in that scenario.

Nanny does not get a pay bump because another kid happens to use the same bus stop. What would she want anyway. This is five minutes a day? Lets say nanny is WELL paid and gets $25 an hour. That is 41 cents a minute. Let's cut that in half since nanny is watching her primary charges. So nanny and neighbor are blowing this up for what amounts to (MAYBE I don't know the breakdown of kids or nanny's actual salary so this is the top estimate) $2.08 a day. $10.41 a week. For 'keeping an eye' on a kid who happens to be standing there while also being watched by his mother down the way. Ridiculous but I suppose great for the nanny if she can add up all this ancillary child supervision she does every time she ever sees a child without their parent in the wild.

If the nanny is walking her charges to/from the bus stop every day and every day Op's son darts out of the house to walk with them, stirring the other kids up and egging them on to play games of chase, then Op's son is being a nuisance and creating more work for the nanny. If this has become a predictable, regular gig for the nanny...yeah, Op should pay her for her time.

1) there’s no evidence that Op’s son is being a nuisance. 2) it’s a walk of 3 houses that the mom can see from the window. 3) by that logic as a parent walking my kid to school, other parents need to start paying me if their kid “stirs up” my kid as they walk to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your son walking to/from the bus stop with the nanny? Like he sees her on the way with her charges and he joins them? Is he waiting until they are walking past to leave your house?

If so, she might feel obligated to watch him, too, and doesn't feel right providing a service to you for free that she charges her employer money for.

If your kid is walking to/from the bus stop by himself, then the nanny is being sort of pushy.

That is ridiculous. What if this wasn't OP's kid but three doors down the other way neighbor who never talks to anyone and who no one has her number. Is nanny taking on every child that uses the bus stop? When nanny is at the playground is she responsible for every kid there, supervised or not? When you are taking care of kids you come across other humans who may or may not be well supervised and you need to deal with the kids you are in charge of in that scenario.

Nanny does not get a pay bump because another kid happens to use the same bus stop. What would she want anyway. This is five minutes a day? Lets say nanny is WELL paid and gets $25 an hour. That is 41 cents a minute. Let's cut that in half since nanny is watching her primary charges. So nanny and neighbor are blowing this up for what amounts to (MAYBE I don't know the breakdown of kids or nanny's actual salary so this is the top estimate) $2.08 a day. $10.41 a week. For 'keeping an eye' on a kid who happens to be standing there while also being watched by his mother down the way. Ridiculous but I suppose great for the nanny if she can add up all this ancillary child supervision she does every time she ever sees a child without their parent in the wild.

If the nanny is walking her charges to/from the bus stop every day and every day Op's son darts out of the house to walk with them, stirring the other kids up and egging them on to play games of chase, then Op's son is being a nuisance and creating more work for the nanny. If this has become a predictable, regular gig for the nanny...yeah, Op should pay her for her time.

1) there’s no evidence that Op’s son is being a nuisance. 2) it’s a walk of 3 houses that the mom can see from the window. 3) by that logic as a parent walking my kid to school, other parents need to start paying me if their kid “stirs up” my kid as they walk to school.

Ummm, if Op's kid is rambunctious and Op is busy watching from a window but not hearing the nanny asking the children to please settle down and Op is not there to step in when her son is being particularly wild then perhaps the nanny is right. Op's son would benefit from having some up close and direct supervision.

It sounds as though Op's kid is a being a bit of a nuisance, Op isn't hearing/seeing everything that is happening and the nanny would like to have the authority to supervise Op's son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your son walking to/from the bus stop with the nanny? Like he sees her on the way with her charges and he joins them? Is he waiting until they are walking past to leave your house?

If so, she might feel obligated to watch him, too, and doesn't feel right providing a service to you for free that she charges her employer money for.

If your kid is walking to/from the bus stop by himself, then the nanny is being sort of pushy.

That is ridiculous. What if this wasn't OP's kid but three doors down the other way neighbor who never talks to anyone and who no one has her number. Is nanny taking on every child that uses the bus stop? When nanny is at the playground is she responsible for every kid there, supervised or not? When you are taking care of kids you come across other humans who may or may not be well supervised and you need to deal with the kids you are in charge of in that scenario.

Nanny does not get a pay bump because another kid happens to use the same bus stop. What would she want anyway. This is five minutes a day? Lets say nanny is WELL paid and gets $25 an hour. That is 41 cents a minute. Let's cut that in half since nanny is watching her primary charges. So nanny and neighbor are blowing this up for what amounts to (MAYBE I don't know the breakdown of kids or nanny's actual salary so this is the top estimate) $2.08 a day. $10.41 a week. For 'keeping an eye' on a kid who happens to be standing there while also being watched by his mother down the way. Ridiculous but I suppose great for the nanny if she can add up all this ancillary child supervision she does every time she ever sees a child without their parent in the wild.

If the nanny is walking her charges to/from the bus stop every day and every day Op's son darts out of the house to walk with them, stirring the other kids up and egging them on to play games of chase, then Op's son is being a nuisance and creating more work for the nanny. If this has become a predictable, regular gig for the nanny...yeah, Op should pay her for her time.

1) there’s no evidence that Op’s son is being a nuisance. 2) it’s a walk of 3 houses that the mom can see from the window. 3) by that logic as a parent walking my kid to school, other parents need to start paying me if their kid “stirs up” my kid as they walk to school.

Ummm, if Op's kid is rambunctious and Op is busy watching from a window but not hearing the nanny asking the children to please settle down and Op is not there to step in when her son is being particularly wild then perhaps the nanny is right. Op's son would benefit from having some up close and direct supervision.

It sounds as though Op's kid is a being a bit of a nuisance, Op isn't hearing/seeing everything that is happening and the nanny would like to have the authority to supervise Op's son.

No, it doesn't sound like OP's kid is a bit of a nuisance. That's just your spin on it. And no one asks to get paid for keeping an eye on someone else's kid for 5 minutes. If so, I'd have a whole lot of extra income.