Neighbor offered her nanny to me in a way I don't want (bus stop "supervision")

[Anonymous]

Op here. I also feel like I miscommunicated in the beginning which I feel guilty about. Nanny went "Im happy to keep an eye.." and I thought of that in a very general/ good person/ everyone watches everyones kids kind of way. I am from Ohio and we haven't been here very long and I feel like I just didn't catch the meaning of her offer. I did correct myself 2x over via text so I do feel like I can let it die now.

[Anonymous]

She is telling her boss that most of her efforts go to watching and settling down little Johnny more than her charge Larlo. Mom says “well that’s not right they should be paying you! I’ll touch base with his mom and we’ll get this sorted” you said no and they decided to just cut him out of being supervised by not letting Larlo play with Johnny since he hypes everyone up. It is a pain when a kid with no supervision comes around and riles up the others so you are stuck with another child to control. That said they sound like a mafia extorting your money for “protection” the way you put it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I also feel like I miscommunicated in the beginning which I feel guilty about. Nanny went "Im happy to keep an eye.." and I thought of that in a very general/ good person/ everyone watches everyones kids kind of way. I am from Ohio and we haven't been here very long and I feel like I just didn't catch the meaning of her offer. I did correct myself 2x over via text so I do feel like I can let it die now.

I would have taken it in the same vein, not as her offering her nanny services for pay. I mean, if I were standing at the bus stop, I would naturally keep an eye on your kid, too, but my 6yo could walk to a bus stop three houses down and wait without incident. I wouldn't worry about timing it too closely (what if he misses it?) or any awkwardness at the pool this summer, which is still months away. You just keep on keeping on with what you're doing. Congrats on the baby, btw.

[Anonymous]

Your overthinking it.

If you ever need help they are offering the nanny at a low rate.

They are not asking for money for the bus stop.

[Anonymous]

Nanny's job is to watch her charges. So, even if your little kid is hyping everyone up, her JOB is to manage her own kids.

I would not pay her to watch your son BUT I certainly hope you have told your son to be on 100% best behavior at the bus stop and that you are keeping an eye out on him.

[Anonymous]

I was definitely thinking from the first post that this sounds like Mafia-style extortion.

Do not pay her a dime.

I'd be tempted to tell my kid to specifically "run around the trees" just to get under her coat. What a couple of malignant twats that nanny and your neighbor are!

And make sure your DS knows that nanny has no authority over him. (I'm normally the last person to say that kids shouldn't respect adults, but she deserves a kick in the teeth, not respect.)

[Anonymous]

Could be she’s trying to off set the price of nanny on you. I don’t like the way she’s hitting you up for money. Maybe your boy is acting out a bit after the new baby. But if you can see from the window. Nannies can be big complainers/ money hungry at times also.

[Anonymous]

Nanny is not easy going, she is actively hustling people.

[Anonymous]

10:02
I’ll add that a neighbor who trusts her 6 year old to come over unannounced and expects to stay makes me so nervous because it wouldn’t be a big issue (our kids get along and I like the kid) but he has no worries about running across the busy street and it makes me so upset. I have mentioned it to parents who say they are also concerned but send him out to do it again. I tell him not to but he does it anyway and during rush hour traffic without looking. He glazed over when I tell him about looking both ways and crossing with an adult. I feel like I will be held responsible when he jumps in front of a car one day. Anyway that’s a different scenario as I don’t want financial compensation but possibly along the same vein of he nanny’s worries.

[Anonymous]

How would the kids be acting at the bus stop if there were no adult there? Would they be pretty safe, or would they be running around and getting a bit wild?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your overthinking it.

If you ever need help they are offering the nanny at a low rate.

They are not asking for money for the bus stop.

This isn't what it sounds like.

[Anonymous]

Is your son walking to/from the bus stop with the nanny? Like he sees her on the way with her charges and he joins them? Is he waiting until they are walking past to leave your house?

If so, she might feel obligated to watch him, too, and doesn't feel right providing a service to you for free that she charges her employer money for.

If your kid is walking to/from the bus stop by himself, then the nanny is being sort of pushy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your son walking to/from the bus stop with the nanny? Like he sees her on the way with her charges and he joins them? Is he waiting until they are walking past to leave your house?

If so, she might feel obligated to watch him, too, and doesn't feel right providing a service to you for free that she charges her employer money for.

If your kid is walking to/from the bus stop by himself, then the nanny is being sort of pushy.

Next time I go to the mall, I'm just going to start walking alongside kids. Obviously, if something bad were about to happen to one of them, I would intervene; therefore, I'm going to demand payment from their parents based on where I'm walking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your son walking to/from the bus stop with the nanny? Like he sees her on the way with her charges and he joins them? Is he waiting until they are walking past to leave your house?

If so, she might feel obligated to watch him, too, and doesn't feel right providing a service to you for free that she charges her employer money for.

If your kid is walking to/from the bus stop by himself, then the nanny is being sort of pushy.

Next time I go to the mall, I'm just going to start walking alongside kids. Obviously, if something bad were about to happen to one of them, I would intervene; therefore, I'm going to demand payment from their parents based on where I'm walking.

Terrible analogy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your son walking to/from the bus stop with the nanny? Like he sees her on the way with her charges and he joins them? Is he waiting until they are walking past to leave your house?

If so, she might feel obligated to watch him, too, and doesn't feel right providing a service to you for free that she charges her employer money for.

If your kid is walking to/from the bus stop by himself, then the nanny is being sort of pushy.

That is ridiculous. What if this wasn't OP's kid but three doors down the other way neighbor who never talks to anyone and who no one has her number. Is nanny taking on every child that uses the bus stop? When nanny is at the playground is she responsible for every kid there, supervised or not? When you are taking care of kids you come across other humans who may or may not be well supervised and you need to deal with the kids you are in charge of in that scenario.

Nanny does not get a pay bump because another kid happens to use the same bus stop. What would she want anyway. This is five minutes a day? Lets say nanny is WELL paid and gets $25 an hour. That is 41 cents a minute. Let's cut that in half since nanny is watching her primary charges. So nanny and neighbor are blowing this up for what amounts to (MAYBE I don't know the breakdown of kids or nanny's actual salary so this is the top estimate) $2.08 a day. $10.41 a week. For 'keeping an eye' on a kid who happens to be standing there while also being watched by his mother down the way. Ridiculous but I suppose great for the nanny if she can add up all this ancillary child supervision she does every time she ever sees a child without their parent in the wild.