What do you want your kid’s NT classmates told?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don’t think she is doing it to embarass the other child although that might happen. I think she is having a hard time looking at this from other parent’s or the other child’s POV. Benefit of the doubt: she may be trying. Not to say that the experiences of other posters are not valid. Mine with other parents are along similar lines. I do not discuss my kid’s SN with other parents because my kid and I have been burned one too many times as a result. I am very careful and have found a few good folks along the way.

OP, what I would want your kid to know: People are different and we should all try to see what we have in common and even appreciate the diversity when we are different. My kid sees the differences and doesn’t mind too much when another kid is different. But if your kid can’t handle that, esp when he hits MS and the rubber meets the road socially, then I would tell him to just stay away from my kid. If you can’t be friends, fine. Just don’t be a jerk.

No, trying would be inviting the kid/parent out to do something special together or inviting them to their house or even birthday party.

No, trying starts with trying to understand where the other person is coming from and that is what I see OP doing. An all-class birthday party would be great but I expect my child to be invited to playdates because the kids are friends, not because he has SN. Doesn’t sound like the are particular friends at the moment in this situation.

I don't see it at all and after 2/3rd grade the all class parties drop off and are very few so many kids are not invited. If she wants to help, try encourage a friendship. If they are not friends she has no right to discuss diagnosis and let the teachers handle it. She has less of a right to email the teachers and pry into what is going on. She's like the people who drag their kids to volunteer claiming it is to help when its really about them and their needs to prove something to their friends or kids (or teach the kids how lucky they are).

[Anonymous]

OP here: good grief, I’m not planning to pry with the teacher or Larlo’s parents. It’s none of my business! We’re not in a position to host a whole clsss party, and Larlo’s family wasn’t at the one we attended. My kid described what sounded to me, as an adult who has autistic friends, like a sensory meltdown. She thought it was funny. I did not, and I wanted her to be kinder and not to laugh at Larlo. But since I don’t know Larlo or his diagnosis if he has one, AND IT WOULDN’T BE APPROPRIATE FOR ME TO INQUIRE, I erred in the side of not saying anything beyond that laughing at someone who was upset isn’t nice. But I wasn’t sure I did it right, and I know my kid is more thoughtful about friends who have different needs when she’s aware of them, so I thought I would ask people with more experience what they thought I should tell my child.

[Anonymous]

OP again: anyway, by this point I’m sure she’s forgotten about it and I don’t intend to bring it up again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My non sn daughter is also in k - my son is older - and I’m frankly surprised your daughter has picked up on this. There are several kids with iep in my kids class - I volunteer often - and they just aren’t aware yet.

I doubt that’s true that they aren’t aware. Both of my children came home in K with questions about the children with SN’s in their classrooms. They wondered why they had aides (although they didn’t know the word aide and asked why an extra teacher always sat with a particular child or helped only that child), they asked why one child with SNs always had trouble sharing and playing without getting physically aggressive and crying, they asked why there was a child who was a baby (child with severe Downs Syndrome and a host of other disabilities that I’m not familiar with who could not walk or talk on her own and was very physically small for her age). I’m glad our school has the inclusive classroom where all of our children can work and play together.

This is to say, that kids do notice even at young ages. And although some of the examples I used were of children with more severe SNs, some had autism.