Nd advice-would you allow your 12 year old DD to walk around a huge mall alone or with a friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would allow some freedom but probably not totally a drop off situation. For example, I would agree to periodic meet ups and freedom to walk around in a section of the mall. I’d require that she answer her phone if I call. And if they wanted to change plans and move on to another section, I’d require her to call and let me know.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the PPs saying yes, if she’s familiar with that mall must not have read the OP. It’s mall of America. No one is familiar with mall of America, at least not at 12.

Regular mall, possibly. MOA, no way.

Yes they can be. I grew up near the worlds biggest mall and definitely was allowed to go around independently at 12-13. When you've been walking the mall with your parents your whole life, how do you not get familiar with it?? My 8 year old can navigate us around. They learn key spots and figure it out. There are duplicates of stores yet central features that kids definitely can learn.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would. At that age my kids were navigating DC metro (bus and train) by themselves and getting to and from school in other parts of DC. So, yes, I'd be okay with them inside of a huge shopping mall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the PPs saying yes, if she’s familiar with that mall must not have read the OP. It’s mall of America. No one is familiar with mall of America, at least not at 12.

Regular mall, possibly. MOA, no way.

I've been there, and yes, it's big, but that makes it riskier how?

[Jkirsh64]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the PPs saying yes, if she’s familiar with that mall must not have read the OP. It’s mall of America. No one is familiar with mall of America, at least not at 12.

Regular mall, possibly. MOA, no way.

I've been there, and yes, it's big, but that makes it riskier how?

It’s like a small city with a large transit hub for light rail and busses. The mall is generally safe but I don’t think a lot of 12 year olds are mature enough to fully understand potential risks. There are definitely areas in which large groups of teens tend to congregate and that just isn’t the place for 12 year olds IMO. In fact, the MOA does not allow minors under 16 to be there without a 21+ escort on Fridays and Saturdays after 4:00.

[Anonymous]

Jkirsh64 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the PPs saying yes, if she’s familiar with that mall must not have read the OP. It’s mall of America. No one is familiar with mall of America, at least not at 12.

Regular mall, possibly. MOA, no way.

I've been there, and yes, it's big, but that makes it riskier how?

It’s like a small city with a large transit hub for light rail and busses. The mall is generally safe but I don’t think a lot of 12 year olds are mature enough to fully understand potential risks. There are definitely areas in which large groups of teens tend to congregate and that just isn’t the place for 12 year olds IMO. In fact, the MOA does not allow minors under 16 to be there without a 21+ escort on Fridays and Saturdays after 4:00.

Still seeking clarity on what the potential risks are. Hanging with older kids?

[Jkirsh64]

Anonymousquote=Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the PPs saying yes, if she’s familiar with that mall must not have read the OP. It’s mall of America. No one is familiar with mall of America, at least not at 12.

Regular mall, possibly. MOA, no way.

I've been there, and yes, it's big, but that makes it riskier how?

It’s like a small city with a large transit hub for light rail and busses. The mall is generally safe but I don’t think a lot of 12 year olds are mature enough to fully understand potential risks. There are definitely areas in which large groups of teens tend to congregate and that just isn’t the place for 12 year olds IMO. In fact, the MOA does not allow minors under 16 to be there without a 21+ escort on Fridays and Saturdays after 4:00.

Still seeking clarity on what the potential risks are. Hanging with older kids?


Hanging with a rowdy group of 15-16 year old teens, that are unsupervised, intimidating, and that I do not know, is just not something I want for a 12 year old. I think there is a big difference in the maturity and judgement between 12 year olds and 15 year olds. I’ve been to MOA countless times. Just not the place for an upsupervised 12 year old. With a parent nearby? Sure. At a different, smaller mall? Sure. Dropped off at a movie theater? Sure.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a 15-16 year old? Because I can tell you, most older teens don't want to hang out with with your 12 year old. Geez.

[Jkirsh64]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a 15-16 year old? Because I can tell you, most older teens don't want to hang out with with your 12 year old. Geez.

Let me clarify. By “hanging out”, I did not mean shopping and getting snacks. Have you ever been to MOA? Have you been to the transit area when it’s busy? I meant getting caught up with a group of older teens that are not looking out for them. It’s just not an environment for unchaperoned 12 year olds. But hey. You do you. Drop your 12 year old off wherever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can’t sleep. All night I had a fight with my daughter. I currently live in Minnesota, my 12 year old wants to go with her friend (13) to walk around alone in the Mall of America. This mall is the largest in the country. When I was young I use to walk to town and around town by myself at this age; but times are different. I told her no. I’ve read a lot about sex trafficking stories lately. My DD is very pretty and so is her friend. Am I being too paranoid? I allow her to walk alone in a smaller mall but MOA? What would you do?

You are exactly right. Some men go to the malls just to find young girls. They know many girls there are wanting to act -and look- all grown up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:but times are different.

No, times aren't different.

In all of Bloomington, MN in all of 2017 there were 43 reported rapes. In 1997 there were 44. Perception is not reality.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve read a lot about sex trafficking stories lately.

Lord. Step away from the computer. Do you really, really believe that pre-teen children are regularly being snatched out of malls for sex trafficking? It's vulnerable women and children who are trafficked most often, like runaways and those who live in abusive homes. The odds of someone walking off with your child in a public place are so infinitesimally small. And I assume that you've been having the stranger danger talks throughout her life?

I get that we adults can worry about the worst-case scenario and that it can be hard to forgive ourselves if anything happened. But this type of anxiety is also damaging to children, as is a lack of appropriate independence.

What is going to happen in a mall? Every place is within public view and likely under camera surveillance. Going to the bathroom is probably the biggest issue, and that's really not a huge deal. As long as your kiddo doesn't leave the property and has a phone to use, I don't see an issue. Perhaps rehearse strategies to use in any public place if someone is making her uncomfortable by following, insisting on having a conversation, asking intrusive questions, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[quote=Anonymous
You are exactly right. Some men go to the malls just to find young girls. They know many girls there are wanting to act -and look- all grown up!

Ok, I'm trying to follow. Then men go to malls to find grown-up looking/acting girls. And then?

I mean, I trust that there are men who look at or even comment to girls and women. It happens to me regularly as I walk around DC. But, this is a mall where there are dozens of people observing at any given time. So if a man starts leering and thinking impure thoughts, what's he going to do next? He's probably not going to touch a child in front of everyone else. He's not going to expose himself in front of countless witnesses. He can't snatch the child unnoticed, particularly if your daughter is there with a friend or friends. The worst case scenario I can imagine is that someone takes a photo or video of your child, which could happen in any public place with or without a chaperone.

[Anonymous]

Sex traffickers do not kidnap kids from the mall. They target vulnerable youth and lure them via social media or the pretense of a relationship. They are not snatching children randomly from public places.

[Anonymous]

One of my favorite memories is of going to Mall of America with my best friend at that age! Our moms were in the mall too (it was like a 2 hour drive) but they didn't bother us all day...and we had NO cell phones!

[Anonymous]

I have been to MOA many times and I don't get the concern. It's not like a "mini city." It's just a big circle of your bog standard mall shops and food stands with some rides in the middle. It's impossible to get lost and it has excellent security. So I don't get the concern about the size. I

I would go with them and be in the mall and set check in times and rules about sticking together but honestly, this is a great opportunity to build trust with your daughter and you should not let your irrational fears stunt her growth.