Nd advice-would you allow your 12 year old DD to walk around a huge mall alone or with a friend?

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid. Trust your gut

[Anonymous]

I would but o my if they know the mall. I wouldn't leave them somewhere new at 12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I trailed along with DD and her friend at that age, but didn't interact too much with them. A year or so later I sat down in the mall with a book to read and had her text every 20 minutes or so and also come in person. She thought that was draconian but them's the rules.

This is a nice combination of “overprotective” and finding a way within that to let the kid have some freedom. She could text subtly.

[Anonymous]

OP, is there a smaller mall you can go to? It might not be quite as much for DD and friend but MOA is HUGE. Definitely not you average mall (probably the size of 15 average malls put together).

That could be a good compromise. I would shadow them at MOA because if they did need help it would take God knows how long to get to them. OR they could have more freedom at a smaller mall and you could read in the food court or do your own shopping (with regular check ins).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the kid. Trust your gut

+1 (and +1 to the other PP who said you're the mom, it's your call). I'm a pretty free-range parent, but the Mall of America is a whole different ball game.

That said, things really aren't "different" these days as far as crime goes. If you read the statistics, it's no more dangerous now than it was when I was 12 in 1979 and taking the metro bus to roam Montgomery Mall in Bethesda with a friend. It's just that if anything happens, we hear on cable TV and read on-line about it endlessly. But OP, I don't think you're wildly out of line to say no.

[Anonymous]

I would let her with check-ins. Also do you have Find Friend on your phones? then you can see where they are. At that age I would probably make her have that app.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With a friend, yes. What is the answer among local peers? Do that.

"The answer among local peers" (whether a child's peers or the parent's) is no way to make parenting decisions.

[Anonymous]

Totally fine w/ a friend and a phone. If you worry, ask her to check in at certain times. Also, you can have a family tracker with you cell service or Apple for extra peace of mind. Worries can just take over. She's old enough for some independence.

[Anonymous]

With a friend yes.

Our kids take the metro at that age.

[Anonymous]

Yes to walking in the mall with a friend.

No to walking alone in the mall.

[Anonymous]

Trust your gut and know your kid (and their friends). First time my 12YO stepDD went to the mall alone with friends they got busted for shoplifting. She's also met up with random kids she's "met" on IG so her judgement isn't so great. Now she's 16 and when she's with us, she only can wander off with friends if we're there lurking behind.

[Jkirsh64]

Fellow MN mom. I am generally pretty laid back but would not allow MOA alone or with a friend at that age. However, that was about the age when I would allow my dd to go, with a friend, to smaller regional malls (Ridgedale, Southdale, etc.) for an agreed upon time period. I can’t recall when I let them go to MOA unsupervised but it was probably around age 14-15.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

I took my 12 year old DD to MOA this summer and there is no way I would let her hang out with her friends there. I recently went to a talk about trafficking and I think it is more of a concern than people realize.

Drop her off at the Galleria instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With a friend, yes. What is the answer among local peers? Do that.

"The answer among local peers" (whether a child's peers or the parent's) is no way to make parenting decisions.

Asking people who you trust, and whose parenting you've observed over time their opinion on a place they've been makes way more sense than asking strangers who have never been someplace.

I don't think that the size of the mall would weigh into my decision, but I've never been to the MOA so it's possible that there are other factors that would weigh into my decision.

I think that most 12 year olds, who were trustworthy and confident enough to ask directions when they got lost, and could use a phone, could handle MOA in pairs with periodic check ins, but I'm guessing.