Do I have a husband problem or a money problem?

[Anonymous]

I earned $110k graduating from law school. I paid an extra extra $1k on my monthly school loans. If I came across extra money I paid some more. I repaid it all by 32. I still had my mismatched ikea grad school furniture though I had added some better ones here and there. I didn’t get my nice adult furniture until 38, when we traded up from townhouse to house. Just because you got married and are an adult doesn’t mean you get to furnish your house all at once and make it a cohesive magazine look. You’re wanting things you cannot afford. One does not “deserve” adult/nice furniture just because they hit a certain age or married state. At least your rent is reasonable for your HHI. Kudos to you.

[Anonymous]

Those friends taking 3-4 trips, do they have your family’s school loans? Do you know what sacrifices they are making to do the trips? Maybe they eat cereal all the time (just an example) to save to go to trips. Maybe their parents help. Maybe they have big CC debt.

If you’re jealous, get the second job and persuade your husband to go.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have the five-year old problem. Instead of your eyes being bigger than your stomach, you have a problem that your wants are bigger than your budget. You have more expensive tastes than your budget will allow and you need to find a way to pick and choose what you will spend on while still meeting some savings goals of your husband.

What you need to do is sit down with your husband and come up with a monthly budget. First you need to map out your income and your mandatory expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, phones). After that, you decide as a couple how much you need to save each month, whether you are building an emergency fund, saving for downpayment for a house, etc. After that, you take the remainder and divide it in half and that is the amount each of you has in discretionary spending. You can each spend up to that amount each month. Any leftover money from your discretionary spending goes back into the savings account. Some couples using this method will allow one person to save up the unused money so that they can have one splurge expense after they've saved up. Or you can just decide on an arbitrary amount that you each get each month.

Then you get to decide how to spend your discretionary money how you want. So, if you want to spend more money on organic food or going to the movies, you do so. If he wants to save the money and put it towards one big splurge, he can do so. Or he can decide to spend it how he sees fit.