Let's play a name game

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jeremy was charming initially. He kept the weekend calendar full with planned activities like beer tastings and concerts. But then his penchant for drinking too much became boring as did his vacuous friends. In the end, things were much more about his ego than about you.

Kristen, a classic pulled-together woman from the X-enial bridge generation, let you woo her. Her ambition was appealing, and she was pretty if not gorgeous. You could overlook her controlling tendencies because she was just so great at everything and you could see her being a good wife and mother some day. In the end she saw too many flaws in you (in almost everyone, really) so she left for nonexistent greener pastures.

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Forgot to add a name. Whoops! Wayne

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeremy was charming initially. He kept the weekend calendar full with planned activities like beer tastings and concerts. But then his penchant for drinking too much became boring as did his vacuous friends. In the end, things were much more about his ego than about you.

Kristen, a classic pulled-together woman from the X-enial bridge generation, let you woo her. Her ambition was appealing, and she was pretty if not gorgeous. You could overlook her controlling tendencies because she was just so great at everything and you could see her being a good wife and mother some day. In the end she saw too many flaws in you (in almost everyone, really) so she left for nonexistent greener pastures.

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Forgot to add a name. Whoops! Wayne

Wayne was good at fixing pipes and laying the pipe, and not much else. Eventually you outgrew him.

Matthew.

[Anonymous]

Matthew was too sweet and clean cut from the get-go, and you always felt a little unease. He always opened doors, ordered the perfect wine, and dressed impeccably, with perfectly coiffed hair and shoes that were made for his outfit.

You broke it off, because it was all too much, but years later, saw him in a weird kink porn video that you were watching with your new parntner jut for laughs. You were a little surprised, but kept it all under wraps.

Kyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Matthew was too sweet and clean cut from the get-go, and you always felt a little unease. He always opened doors, ordered the perfect wine, and dressed impeccably, with perfectly coiffed hair and shoes that were made for his outfit.

You broke it off, because it was all too much, but years later, saw him in a weird kink porn video that you were watching with your new parntner jut for laughs. You were a little surprised, but kept it all under wraps.

Kyle.

Had a weird obsession with N Sync specifically Lance Bass right down to the haircut. You dated for 3 years until he came out sophomore year of college

Bethany

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Matthew was too sweet and clean cut from the get-go, and you always felt a little unease. He always opened doors, ordered the perfect wine, and dressed impeccably, with perfectly coiffed hair and shoes that were made for his outfit.

You broke it off, because it was all too much, but years later, saw him in a weird kink porn video that you were watching with your new parntner jut for laughs. You were a little surprised, but kept it all under wraps.

Kyle.

Despite worrying initially that he would turn out to be a serial killer, Kyle turned out to be a lot of fun and was nice to you. Too bad that his friends were an annoying pack, and that they pulled him away.

Tiffany.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Matthew was too sweet and clean cut from the get-go, and you always felt a little unease. He always opened doors, ordered the perfect wine, and dressed impeccably, with perfectly coiffed hair and shoes that were made for his outfit.

You broke it off, because it was all too much, but years later, saw him in a weird kink porn video that you were watching with your new parntner jut for laughs. You were a little surprised, but kept it all under wraps.

Kyle.

Despite worrying initially that he would turn out to be a serial killer, Kyle turned out to be a lot of fun and was nice to you. Too bad that his friends were an annoying pack, and that they pulled him away.

Tiffany.

Tiffany got great grades but you'd never know it by talking to her. You didn't care that she wasn't a great conversationalist because she could suck a golf ball thru a hose and her boobs were so big, she hadn't seen her feet in years. After a year together, you finally took a class together. You had a scheduled meeting with your professor at 2. You showed up 15 mins early like you had always been taught. When the door finally opened at 2:20, 20 minutes late, out walked Tiffany beaming and she gave you a wink and blew you a kiss. You walked in to find a deshevled, sweaty professor that was struggling to compose himself. Mystery solve. Facebook status changed.

Portia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Matthew was too sweet and clean cut from the get-go, and you always felt a little unease. He always opened doors, ordered the perfect wine, and dressed impeccably, with perfectly coiffed hair and shoes that were made for his outfit.

You broke it off, because it was all too much, but years later, saw him in a weird kink porn video that you were watching with your new parntner jut for laughs. You were a little surprised, but kept it all under wraps.

Kyle.

Had a weird obsession with N Sync specifically Lance Bass right down to the haircut. You dated for 3 years until he came out sophomore year of college

Bethany

Bethany was the girl who lived in your dorm and you shared a couple of classes she loved hearing you sing and you'd make sure to play your guitar right outside her window.. She was shy and sweet and you were too shy to ask her out despite you both having a crush on each other throughput college. She moved back home after college and you lost touch, but every now and then you think about her.


Ashley

[Anonymous]

Portia was a 5' 10" aspiring model. I out always thought she was too good for you and couldn't figure out what she saw in you. Instead of thanking your lucky stars you cheated on her with her best friend Ashley who was really more of a frenemy.

Ashley be eventually left you for an "actor" named James.


James

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jeremy was charming initially. He kept the weekend calendar full with planned activities like beer tastings and concerts. But then his penchant for drinking too much became boring as did his vacuous friends. In the end, things were much more about his ego than about you.

Kristen, a classic pulled-together woman from the X-enial bridge generation, let you woo her. Her ambition was appealing, and she was pretty if not gorgeous. You could overlook her controlling tendencies because she was just so great at everything and you could see her being a good wife and mother some day. In the end she saw too many flaws in you (in almost everyone, really) so she left for nonexistent greener pastures.

OMG Jeremy is spot on!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Ryan was a small town boy who made good and arrived at your fancy east coast school to play football. He was sweet and funny with his thick neck and massive quads and you fell for him right away. But his addiction to porn made it hard to have a relationship with a real female, and you eventually stopped returning his calls and started dating a skinny musicology major.

Drew.

Drew was a cool, lead singer and guitar player in high school and college bands. Got too into drugs and alcohol, has been in and out of rehab and last you heard, was back in. Was hot and fun while it lasted though!

Forgot to add a name: Joe

Joe had an unfortunate problem with PE that ruined all his relationships.

Lynette.

Lynette grew up homeschooled in a religious cult and had a lot of hangups. She was mostly using you to rebel and you broke up when she called you a child of Satan.


Michelle.

Michelle never met a man she didn't like. Slept with your brother and all your friends when you guys were dating and some guy she met at the Justin Timberlake concert you surprised her with for her birthday.

Nicole

Nicole is the one who got away. Should have followed her to Japan. According to my ex no one could compare to her.

Brendan.

Drummer you dated because you thought he looked like Jakob Dylan. He had a drinking problem and made out with your best friend at your 21 st birthday party.

Steve

Steve was a good one, but I was too dumb to realize at the time.

Josh

Josh was a druggie. You dated him during nap your rebellious phase. It was all fun and games until you caught him stealing from you.

Michael.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ryan was a small town boy who made good and arrived at your fancy east coast school to play football. He was sweet and funny with his thick neck and massive quads and you fell for him right away. But his addiction to porn made it hard to have a relationship with a real female, and you eventually stopped returning his calls and started dating a skinny musicology major.

Drew.

Drew was a cool, lead singer and guitar player in high school and college bands. Got too into drugs and alcohol, has been in and out of rehab and last you heard, was back in. Was hot and fun while it lasted though!

Forgot to add a name: Joe

Joe had an unfortunate problem with PE that ruined all his relationships.

Lynette.

Lynette grew up homeschooled in a religious cult and had a lot of hangups. She was mostly using you to rebel and you broke up when she called you a child of Satan.


Michelle.

Michelle never met a man she didn't like. Slept with your brother and all your friends when you guys were dating and some guy she met at the Justin Timberlake concert you surprised her with for her birthday.

Nicole

Nicole is the one who got away. Should have followed her to Japan. According to my ex no one could compare to her.

Brendan.

Drummer you dated because you thought he looked like Jakob Dylan. He had a drinking problem and made out with your best friend at your 21 st birthday party.

Steve

Steve was a good one, but I was too dumb to realize at the time.

Josh

Josh was a druggie. You dated him during nap your rebellious phase. It was all fun and games until you caught him stealing from you.

Michael.

Michael was the star quarterback at your high school. You let him copy your homework one day and that was it. You gave up a scholarship to go to the same college as him, but you split up by homecoming.

Katie