If you were stay at home mom or working mom what are your regrets?

[Anonymous]

Well, I have regrets. I wish I'd been able to figure out how to work part-time, but I couldn't manage it. My kids were sick, so I had to stay home with them. I missed working, and now that they're in college, I have no career. I have a job working at home, but it's not lucrative, no benefits, and I'm bored with it.

So, yeah, I have regrets, a lot of them. I wish my DH had had a more flexible job so he could do more childcare duties, freeing me up to work. Having sick kids took a lot (all) of my time, though, so that's an unusual situation. DH's career is booming, he's happy, I'm miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone got dependent on me as a stay at home, and now that my last is going to college next year, I'm ready to go back to work and make some changes. Husband is being uncooperative as it's much easier having someone at home doing the scut work

I'm where you are. I've been giving DH assignments, then leaving the house. We found a cockroach in his bathroom because he hasn't cleaned it in so long (one of the jobs I assigned him). Disgusting. So he cleaned it, finally. If that's what it takes, that's what it takes. I used to do all the scut work, but those days are done. I have a job now, so DH has to pitch in. He whines that he works long hours (he does, and so do I, only I work at home), but I ignore his whining, and keep giving him more jobs. He can vacuum instead of watching that tv show! He can take out the recycling, change the sheets, etc. Each of these jobs does't take that long!! I used to do them all, but no more. Good luck, PP!!

[Anonymous]

Last one launching to college. SAH, have Master's Degree. Would do it all over again. Hardest part is the lack of control due to not having my own money, and husband becoming complacent with a live-in 'do everything' individual and sometimes takes that for granted.

As far as the kids go? Worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone got dependent on me as a stay at home, and now that my last is going to college next year, I'm ready to go back to work and make some changes. Husband is being uncooperative as it's much easier having someone at home doing the scut work

I'm where you are. I've been giving DH assignments, then leaving the house. We found a cockroach in his bathroom because he hasn't cleaned it in so long (one of the jobs I assigned him). Disgusting. So he cleaned it, finally. If that's what it takes, that's what it takes. I used to do all the scut work, but those days are done. I have a job now, so DH has to pitch in. He whines that he works long hours (he does, and so do I, only I work at home), but I ignore his whining, and keep giving him more jobs. He can vacuum instead of watching that tv show! He can take out the recycling, change the sheets, etc. Each of these jobs does't take that long!! I used to do them all, but no more. Good luck, PP!!

I believe I'm the PP - LOL. Old age setting in?

He's been good about fixing things, and I can't do that so I'm now cutting him some slack. He's been more cooperative lately, perhaps because he knows when the last one is out the door, I could be too - LOL.

[Anonymous]

Love this thread. Keep me coming!

[Anonymous]

I worked full time until my three children were 13, 11 and 9 and then we relocated and I decided to stay closer to home as my kids were heading to middle school. I threw myself into community work and within a year took a job with a non profit. I made little money but I loved the work and being there for my kids. It was a great balance but I always wondered how far I could have gone with my career as I was one of the first MBA’s from an Ivy. But, my husband had a very successful career so money wasn’t an issue and he always left my career decisions up to me. I really don’t have any regrets...just questions...but I’d be a fool to complain as my kids are now all very accomplished young adults and my husband and I have been very happy for 40 years and we live a life we never thought we would when we got married.