Panicked about finances now that I see how expensive eldercare is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to worry until I decided to be proactive. I have a "business class to Zurich" fund which is less than the cost of half a year in care. I take the SAGE test from the University of Ohio every 6 months. That way I can ensure I catch the "competent" window of Alzheimer's. At the first signs I will check out gracefully and not burden my family and lose a lifetime of assets. You have a pretty long window but most people do not want to know they have it, they are more concerned about losing their driver's license than losing their minds, so they just sink into oblivion.

I got the idea after reading this woman's blog. It's and account of the wastefulness of Alzheimer's, completely unvarnished. http://www.deadatnoon.com/

My plan as well. Cheers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zurich costs between 10-12K depending on the fluctuation of the Swiss franc, including cremation, so not really all that much. I include 2 business class tickets, top hotels etc. etc. so 30K is on the high end and it will cover a vacation for my travel companion afterwards before they fly back. Anybody can pre-save 30K ahead of time. I have seen too many people ruining their daughter's lives, it's always their daughter, and then blowing through an entire lifetime of assets for no purpose.

I find it morally abhorrent to dump on low-status women who end up working at care homes. It reeks of "massah and the slaves" to me. But by being proactive and agreeing with Emanuel Ezekiel, I am considered strange and the "head in the sand" people who end up costing society a fortune are completely normal.

Anybody can save $30k? Check your privilege.

Tell me more about your Zurich plan. Can any doctor there arrange for assisted suicide? Even not factoring in the financial aspect, this sounds so much better than a long miserable existence.

[Anonymous]

I plan on taking my life before I get old and start shitting myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people who need long-term 24/7 care need it for 2 years or less (because they pass away) so save up enough for that.

That is a ridiculous assumption. It works out for you to believe this, but you have no idea what to expect.

Our relative require round the clock care for 5 years. The facility was $10,000 per month. They blew rhrough 2 generations of savings..

And the cost isn't even tax-deductible (other than the medical costs). So a person has to withdraw $150,000 a year from his or her IRA, and then pay a boatload of taxes on that "upper-middle class" income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people who need long-term 24/7 care need it for 2 years or less (because they pass away) so save up enough for that.

That is a ridiculous assumption. It works out for you to believe this, but you have no idea what to expect.

Our relative require round the clock care for 5 years. The facility was $10,000 per month. They blew rhrough 2 generations of savings..

And the cost isn't even tax-deductible (other than the medical costs). So a person has to withdraw $150,000 a year from his or her IRA, and then pay a boatload of taxes on that "upper-middle class" income.

$6,000 and now $10,000 per month for 15 years. Stroked impaired both physically and mentally. He would be appalled if he was himself. Other than that the place is keeping him really healthy.

[Anonymous]

Recently asked my mom "would your father have wanted those last 12 years of dementia? he was a brilliant and proud man". She answered, "I know my sister didn't think so. But the will to live is very strong. He wasn't suffering".

[Anonymous]

These questions are so profoundly hard, and one of the toughest things about them is that one's perspective changes over time. What you might deem utterly inconceivable now may become tolerable.

What you judge as sufficient quality of life now might change.

Etc...

My father spent the last 2+ years of his life in a nursing home. If he had stayed at home he would have died. He needed tons of care. Tons of personal, formerly embarrassing care. Tons of medication oversight and highly skilled medical support, and so on.

Because he lived those extra two years my kids grew to be old enough to remember him. My sister got time to heal some significant childhood wounds. My brother conquered an addiction and had two long visits (and dozens of phone calls) with my father while he was sober - something that hadn't happened in the preceding decade.

My parents had hundreds of additional dinners together and he was able to support my mom emotionally through a serious illness.

My father would have found his last years to be completely unacceptable if you'd asked him his wishes at 30, 40, 50, 60 years old. But he - and we - were (and remain) extraordinarily thankful for the time we did have, despite his diminished capacity.

So this has changed, and complicated, my perspective on how to define my wishes for my later years. Just something to keep in mind...

[Anonymous]

I'll save for my old age but I'm not going to obsess about saving enough so that I'll have The Best Possible Care in a nursing home. If I'm in dire condition with a poor prognosis and no hope for any quality of life I don't want extreme life saving interventions. Why go out of your way to extend your misery for as long as possible? I don't want to put my family through that and I sure as heck don't want to put myself through that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people who need long-term 24/7 care need it for 2 years or less (because they pass away) so save up enough for that.

That is a ridiculous assumption. It works out for you to believe this, but you have no idea what to expect.

That type of care in a GOOD facility, is not a medicaid vilify, will run you 10-15k a month. My father in law is in independent living. Facility in DC and even that is 8200k a month. Thank god he was able to buy long term care coverage in the 90s.

[Anonymous]

Medicaid facilities are dumps. I toured enough. Reek of pee, two minimum to a single room. Horrible employees, high turnover. Won’t do the most basic stuff. I would rather die than be stuck in one even for a week.