Successful Career Women Are - Doomed Personally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - i have no idea what your subject line means.

I'm a partner in big law. While women only make up around 30% of our partners, we all tend to have pretty good marriages with supportive partner DHs. The male partners on the other hand seem to have much higher rates of divorce and marital problems. Of course, it could be possible that it's harder to achieve success for women *unless* you have a supportive male partner, so the douchebag jerk DHs like OP's keep the OPs from ever making partner. I guess it's a chicken and egg question.

Duh, that's because the wives think they will divorce them and get paid$$$ and shop for a new one. The women's husbands dont view them as a revenue source.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - i have no idea what your subject line means.

I'm a partner in big law. While women only make up around 30% of our partners, we all tend to have pretty good marriages with supportive partner DHs. The male partners on the other hand seem to have much higher rates of divorce and marital problems. Of course, it could be possible that it's harder to achieve success for women *unless* you have a supportive male partner, so the douchebag jerk DHs like OP's keep the OPs from ever making partner. I guess it's a chicken and egg question.

I think men have more of a tendency to trade in for a younger model than women. However, I think you also will find more unmarried or childless women partners in big law than men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - i have no idea what your subject line means.

I'm a partner in big law. While women only make up around 30% of our partners, we all tend to have pretty good marriages with supportive partner DHs. The male partners on the other hand seem to have much higher rates of divorce and marital problems. Of course, it could be possible that it's harder to achieve success for women *unless* you have a supportive male partner, so the douchebag jerk DHs like OP's keep the OPs from ever making partner. I guess it's a chicken and egg question.

I think men have more of a tendency to trade in for a younger model than women. However, I think you also will find more unmarried or childless women partners in big law than men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like marriage is not as beneficial for women as as it once was. Society has tricked us into valuing it so we can keep procreating.

Have to be pretty dumb to be tricked by society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By any measure, I have succeeded in a male dominated profession. I also am a Mom. My husband is more successful from a financial stand point but works less hours and I am still expected to do 80% of anything kid related. He resents my job, my travel and my success. How to navigate?

You have a husband problem, not a career problem.

No she has a career problem, works more makes less. Perhaps her husband is smart enough to realize her job doesnt pay enough to justify the time.

It’s not her husband’s decision. If she values her career and it’s important to her then that’s what matters. If anyone needs to be putting more time into their home life it’s her husband. When my husband was not making as much as me I would never have said, “you don’t make enough, you should just quit and give up your career.”

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's just another child in your family OP. I like what others have said. Just act like a man. Do your thing and look out for yourself/your kids. If he doesn't like it...he can take his toys elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like marriage is not as beneficial for women as as it once was.

LMAO just imagine how men feel about it. Oh wait, you can't imagine how men feel about anything, because you are a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Track the amount of awake hands on time that each of you spend with the children. Present that while you discuss why he feels you are not home enough.

Yeah just imagine how you would react if your DH showed you a spreadsheet of everything he did and all the money he spent. I have no doubt you would react very positively to such an aspie approach to solving relationship problems!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By any measure, I have succeeded in a male dominated profession. I also am a Mom. My husband is more successful from a financial stand point but works less hours and I am still expected to do 80% of anything kid related. He resents my job, my travel and my success. How to navigate?

You have a husband problem, not a career problem.

No she has a career problem, works more makes less. Perhaps her husband is smart enough to realize her job doesnt pay enough to justify the time.

It’s not her husband’s decision. If she values her career and it’s important to her then that’s what matters. If anyone needs to be putting more time into their home life it’s her husband. When my husband was not making as much as me I would never have said, “you don’t make enough, you should just quit and give up your career.”

I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that a partner who doesn't bring much money to the partnership should compensate for it in other ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce will make everything easier.

Because then she'll be doing 100% of the chores and kid work instead of 80%?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Act like a Man. it’s pretty simple. Just keep pursuing your career. Ask him to daddy track his career.

He makes more than her and we do not know what her definition of "successful" is.

My income varied but I make at least mid-six figures. There are years I have made much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce will make everything easier.

Because then she'll be doing 100% of the chores and kid work instead of 80%?

Op here - I don’t want a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP that marriage really isn’t beneficial for women anymore. I half-joke with my best friend that we’d be better off leaving our husbands, buying a house together, and using sperm donors.

Oh I bet you wouldn't leave your husband's money behind if you left him. He'd have to keep on paying even after he lost the "benefits" of living with your ungrateful ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - i have no idea what your subject line means.

I'm a partner in big law. While women only make up around 30% of our partners, we all tend to have pretty good marriages with supportive partner DHs. The male partners on the other hand seem to have much higher rates of divorce and marital problems. Of course, it could be possible that it's harder to achieve success for women *unless* you have a supportive male partner, so the douchebag jerk DHs like OP's keep the OPs from ever making partner. I guess it's a chicken and egg question.

Curious. Do your supportive DHs also have demanding careers? Make more than you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same problem with my DH. The only thing that really works is to act like a man- I don’t ask or plead or bargain, I just do my thing and he can deal with it. He throws a lot of tantrums, but that’s his problem, not mine.

Agree with PP that marriage really isn’t beneficial for women anymore. I half-joke with my best friend that we’d be better off leaving our husbands, buying a house together, and using sperm donors.

Marriage offers nothing for men, there is only one thing you can do for him he cant do for himself. Go buy a house with your friend, women always do great with each other when money is involved.

And he can get that MUCH more cheaply and effectively without marrying for it.