Successful Career Women Are - Doomed Personally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you're describing isn't normal, no. I'm successful and my husband supports my career. He doesn't like me traveling and is annoyed when I am home late. But he has never asked me to quit.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, if you have a family that you never see is that really success?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you're describing isn't normal, no. I'm successful and my husband supports my career. He doesn't like me traveling and is annoyed when I am home late. But he has never asked me to quit.

This.

Bingo, but I'd like to add that while it isn't normal with respect to such an unsupportive husband, it's actually quite normal for a guy to not pull his own weight in terms of chores. I, as a guy, am also guilty of this at times and I don't realize it until my wife points it out to me. While I still try my best I do drop the ball some times. You need to understand that young professional parents today were brought up by baby boomers and a lot of these families did not have working mothers so it's somewhat assumed that the woman's responsibility is housework.

[Anonymous]

Yawn. This sh*t again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Track the amount of awake hands on time that each of you spend with the children. Present that while you discuss why he feels you are not home enough.

He is never with the kids alone unless I am traveling or have other work commitments and even then he has the Nanny stay or has his Mom come. We have discussed and he bascuasays I don’t need to work and should take care of the kids.

He sounds less supportive than most guys. My DH does more more with our kids than that and I am mostly SAH (I work pt from home when they’re at school). He’s not the most nurturing guy, and stuff is left undone, but he tries. How old are your kids? I think it’s harder when they’re little. At the moment, I think the nanny is your child-rearing partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Track the amount of awake hands on time that each of you spend with the children. Present that while you discuss why he feels you are not home enough.

He is never with the kids alone unless I am traveling or have other work commitments and even then he has the Nanny stay or has his Mom come. We have discussed and he bascuasays I don’t need to work and should take care of the kids.

He sounds less supportive than most guys. My DH does more more with our kids than that and I am mostly SAH (I work pt from home when they’re at school). He’s not the most nurturing guy, and stuff is left undone, but he tries. How old are your kids? I think it’s harder when they’re little. At the moment, I think the nanny is your child-rearing partner.

This. Cover everything between yourself and the nanny and leave him out of it. When he decides he wants to be part of his own family and have some say in how his children are raised, then you can talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like marriage is not as beneficial for women as as it once was. Society has tricked us into valuing it so we can keep procreating.

Unless you married Marty Ginsburg, then it’s good.
Most men are selfish as f$ck - it’s just take take take, want want want.
Let him cry a puddle of tears at night if he needs.
Enjoy your child - the time goes by fast!

+1. This is literally my advice to my daughter - don’t marry unless you’re sure he’s a Marty.

I have been engaged/married twice to men who professed that they were OK with my having a career. Both times words did not meet actions. I will never marry again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, if you have a family that you never see is that really success?

I see my family plenty. My kids get up at 5:30 am...I get up with them. I leave for work 3 hours later. I wake up to feed the baby 2-3x a night. I am home by 6:30 pm most nights and it’s another 2 hours before eldest goes to sleep. DH prefers to sleep in and gets off work by 4:30/5:00 but goes to the gym or hangs with his friends until DCs are asleep. He has to do morning and bedtime when my work conflicts.

Wow resentful much? Guess you are ready to throw your marriage away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you're describing isn't normal, no. I'm successful and my husband supports my career. He doesn't like me traveling and is annoyed when I am home late. But he has never asked me to quit.

This.

Bingo, but I'd like to add that while it isn't normal with respect to such an unsupportive husband, it's actually quite normal for a guy to not pull his own weight in terms of chores. I, as a guy, am also guilty of this at times and I don't realize it until my wife points it out to me. While I still try my best I do drop the ball some times. You need to understand that young professional parents today were brought up by baby boomers and a lot of these families did not have working mothers so it's somewhat assumed that the woman's responsibility is housework.

You are a thief and a bad guy. You are not just some happy go lucky good dude who occassionally forgets his share of responsibility. You are a thief who is sucking the time and energy from your wife to use for yourself. You can blame society and the way you were raised and profess that you didn’t realize until your wife pointed it out, but really the problem is YOU are an immature selfish douche who hasn’t the self-perspective to grow up, read a few books and change your habits.

BTW, this is what your wife thinks about you even though she is nice to your face.

[Anonymous]

you're husband is an asshole, sorry OP

[Anonymous]

Divorce will make everything easier.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, your husband sounds like a selfish, sexist pig. Congrats on your success! You’ve worked hard and you deserve to have a supportive husband. My husband is proud of me and my career and realizes that both women and men are allowed and deserve to have thriving careers. Frankly, I’d be outraged if he told me I should stay home. If it’s so important to him that someone stay home why doesn’t he stay home! Why are you the defacto domestic worker? It’s 2018 for Peet’s sake! I think marriage counseling would help. Put your foot down. Tell him: 1) stop asking me to quit. My career is important to me and I find it insulting when you say this. How would you feel if I asked you to quit your job and stay home. 2) we both work hard and I work longer hours. I need you to step up and do your fair share of child care and house chores. Our children will benefit from having a strong relationship with their father.

It’s 2018- no successful career women aren’t doomed. Your husband a reality check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you're describing isn't normal, no. I'm successful and my husband supports my career. He doesn't like me traveling and is annoyed when I am home late. But he has never asked me to quit.

This.

Bingo, but I'd like to add that while it isn't normal with respect to such an unsupportive husband, it's actually quite normal for a guy to not pull his own weight in terms of chores. I, as a guy, am also guilty of this at times and I don't realize it until my wife points it out to me. While I still try my best I do drop the ball some times. You need to understand that young professional parents today were brought up by baby boomers and a lot of these families did not have working mothers so it's somewhat assumed that the woman's responsibility is housework.

You are a thief and a bad guy. You are not just some happy go lucky good dude who occassionally forgets his share of responsibility. You are a thief who is sucking the time and energy from your wife to use for yourself. You can blame society and the way you were raised and profess that you didn’t realize until your wife pointed it out, but really the problem is YOU are an immature selfish douche who hasn’t the self-perspective to grow up, read a few books and change your habits.

BTW, this is what your wife thinks about you even though she is nice to your face.

Lighten up, Francis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, if you have a family that you never see is that really success?

I see my family plenty. My kids get up at 5:30 am...I get up with them. I leave for work 3 hours later. I wake up to feed the baby 2-3x a night. I am home by 6:30 pm most nights and it’s another 2 hours before eldest goes to sleep. DH prefers to sleep in and gets off work by 4:30/5:00 but goes to the gym or hangs with his friends until DCs are asleep. He has to do morning and bedtime when my work conflicts.

Wow resentful much? Guess you are ready to throw your marriage away.

Wow - clueless much?

She should be and she should. What marriage???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, if you have a family that you never see is that really success?

I see my family plenty. My kids get up at 5:30 am...I get up with them. I leave for work 3 hours later. I wake up to feed the baby 2-3x a night. I am home by 6:30 pm most nights and it’s another 2 hours before eldest goes to sleep. DH prefers to sleep in and gets off work by 4:30/5:00 but goes to the gym or hangs with his friends until DCs are asleep. He has to do morning and bedtime when my work conflicts.

Wow resentful much? Guess you are ready to throw your marriage away.

All OP did there was describe the average day for her and her dh. She didn't include any value judgement in her description. Interestingly enough, you're the one who sees resentment in her description.

And honestly, I think any reasonable human would resent a spouse who sleeps in rather than help with kids in the morning, and goes out after work and avoids bedtime routine. I think its clear the person not valuing their family is the dh in this scenario. OP did nothing to deserve your comment about her marriage.