I feel like I am going to explode but I can't say anything

[Anonymous]

The thing a lot of you fail to understand is her husband is international. I bet he doesn't have good communication skills. It's very typical for international people to work contract jobs for a few years after graduation. I don't know any of my international friends who were offered permanent jobs right out of grad school. I have friends at Google, Microsoft, Amazon etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing a lot of you fail to understand is her husband is international. I bet he doesn't have good communication skills. It's very typical for international people to work contract jobs for a few years after graduation. I don't know any of my international friends who were offered permanent jobs right out of grad school. I have friends at Google, Microsoft, Amazon etc.

I’m a PP who keeps asking about OP’s salary potential in the next 36mo or her field, etc until 2yo child is in kindergarten. and I agree that her DH’s U.S. citizenship status, experience level, academic history will reflect different rates of marketability for someone looking to hire permanently. Especially if the data science work doesn’t have to be solely pharmaceutical/medical industry focused. I thought she made mention of something about government contracting opportunities being only in DC, which implies he may be open to the work but isn’t pursuing it for some reason. Also, OP said that the culture in his company has most people being recruited as contractors that convert to permanent. Maybe the process is different in the work culture for candidates with the DH’s background for some reason we are unaware of. It does sound like a niche market he is concentrating on.

There are a few things OP has not clarified that might give her more helpful suggestions if addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing a lot of you fail to understand is her husband is international. I bet he doesn't have good communication skills. It's very typical for international people to work contract jobs for a few years after graduation. I don't know any of my international friends who were offered permanent jobs right out of grad school. I have friends at Google, Microsoft, Amazon etc.

I’m a PP who keeps asking about OP’s salary potential in the next 36mo or her field, etc until 2yo child is in kindergarten. and I agree that her DH’s U.S. citizenship status, experience level, academic history will reflect different rates of marketability for someone looking to hire permanently. Especially if the data science work doesn’t have to be solely pharmaceutical/medical industry focused. I thought she made mention of something about government contracting opportunities being only in DC, which implies he may be open to the work but isn’t pursuing it for some reason. Also, OP said that the culture in his company has most people being recruited as contractors that convert to permanent. Maybe the process is different in the work culture for candidates with the DH’s background for some reason we are unaware of. It does sound like a niche market he is concentrating on.

There are a few things OP has not clarified that might give her more helpful suggestions if addressed.

Op here. My income is 55k. We live in North Florida. Maybe there are jobs in other parts of Florida but right now there's not much for him in his field in North Florida. No one on my husband's team has been converted to a permanent position. He was under the impression it would work that way but it seems his employer ( Johnson & Johnson) does not want to hire permanent employees. He says the company is small and there are not a lot of data scientist positions available at this particular location and company.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your reply OP. Then I go back to my original suggestion of evaluating the quantitative value of each choice in a spreadsheet of COA 1 Move vs COA 2 Stay. $55K plus $95K in an area where he has a 3 year contract fresh out of school with limited prior experience meets the financial need right now. This sounds like it’s about his ego and disappointment in a raise. Hopefully if he truly considers an opportunity out of state, the numbers make the argument and you will be in agreement with any transition worthy of consideration at that time.

You are both providing $150k combined HHI in a low COL area on a 3-ye contract with a good company to have tenure with. You have childcare stability for your 2yo, can afford rent and hopefully are tackling student loan/savings/financial goals. You hold a 1mo new WFH position for you (which isn’t guaranteed to exist out of state today, but could be if you price your value to the company for another 1-2yrs and build trust remotely).

He needs a real offer, for a permanent opportunity with measurable benefits that you can quantify before you worry about moving.

until then, unless there is some other issue we are missing here, I don’t see why you can’t share your concerns with him around your point of view in the matter.

It is tough with a 2 year old. I moved twice with one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your reply OP. Then I go back to my original suggestion of evaluating the quantitative value of each choice in a spreadsheet of COA 1 Move vs COA 2 Stay. $55K plus $95K in an area where he has a 3 year contract fresh out of school with limited prior experience meets the financial need right now. This sounds like it’s about his ego and disappointment in a raise. Hopefully if he truly considers an opportunity out of state, the numbers make the argument and you will be in agreement with any transition worthy of consideration at that time.

You are both providing $150k combined HHI in a low COL area on a 3-ye contract with a good company to have tenure with. You have childcare stability for your 2yo, can afford rent and hopefully are tackling student loan/savings/financial goals. You hold a 1mo new WFH position for you (which isn’t guaranteed to exist out of state today, but could be if you price your value to the company for another 1-2yrs and build trust remotely).

He needs a real offer, for a permanent opportunity with measurable benefits that you can quantify before you worry about moving.

until then, unless there is some other issue we are missing here, I don’t see why you can’t share your concerns with him around your point of view in the matter.

It is tough with a 2 year old. I moved twice with one.

Op here. I guess I don't understand why he can't find a permanent position. He says it's very common in his field to start as a contractor
I don't know how accurate that is. I don't know anything about data science/ Bio statisticians. I also don't have any international friends in this field. I know a lot of international people who work in IT and they are all contractors. The difference between them and my husband is that my husband recently became a citizen. He doesn't have Visas to worry about anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your reply OP. Then I go back to my original suggestion of evaluating the quantitative value of each choice in a spreadsheet of COA 1 Move vs COA 2 Stay. $55K plus $95K in an area where he has a 3 year contract fresh out of school with limited prior experience meets the financial need right now. This sounds like it’s about his ego and disappointment in a raise. Hopefully if he truly considers an opportunity out of state, the numbers make the argument and you will be in agreement with any transition worthy of consideration at that time.

You are both providing $150k combined HHI in a low COL area on a 3-ye contract with a good company to have tenure with. You have childcare stability for your 2yo, can afford rent and hopefully are tackling student loan/savings/financial goals. You hold a 1mo new WFH position for you (which isn’t guaranteed to exist out of state today, but could be if you price your value to the company for another 1-2yrs and build trust remotely).

He needs a real offer, for a permanent opportunity with measurable benefits that you can quantify before you worry about moving.

until then, unless there is some other issue we are missing here, I don’t see why you can’t share your concerns with him around your point of view in the matter.

It is tough with a 2 year old. I moved twice with one.

Op here. I guess I don't understand why he can't find a permanent position. He says it's very common in his field to start as a contractor
I don't know how accurate that is. I don't know anything about data science/ Bio statisticians. I also don't have any international friends in this field. I know a lot of international people who work in IT and they are all contractors. The difference between them and my husband is that my husband recently became a citizen. He doesn't have Visas to worry about anymore.

I can’t offer much insight into the issue of how the timing of citizenship status, his industry and professional qualifications intermingle with securing permanent work but I’m curious too. Maybe someone more familiar with what you’re sharing can do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your reply OP. Then I go back to my original suggestion of evaluating the quantitative value of each choice in a spreadsheet of COA 1 Move vs COA 2 Stay. $55K plus $95K in an area where he has a 3 year contract fresh out of school with limited prior experience meets the financial need right now. This sounds like it’s about his ego and disappointment in a raise. Hopefully if he truly considers an opportunity out of state, the numbers make the argument and you will be in agreement with any transition worthy of consideration at that time.

You are both providing $150k combined HHI in a low COL area on a 3-ye contract with a good company to have tenure with. You have childcare stability for your 2yo, can afford rent and hopefully are tackling student loan/savings/financial goals. You hold a 1mo new WFH position for you (which isn’t guaranteed to exist out of state today, but could be if you price your value to the company for another 1-2yrs and build trust remotely).

He needs a real offer, for a permanent opportunity with measurable benefits that you can quantify before you worry about moving.

until then, unless there is some other issue we are missing here, I don’t see why you can’t share your concerns with him around your point of view in the matter.

It is tough with a 2 year old. I moved twice with one.

Op here. I guess I don't understand why he can't find a permanent position. He says it's very common in his field to start as a contractor
I don't know how accurate that is. I don't know anything about data science/ Bio statisticians. I also don't have any international friends in this field. I know a lot of international people who work in IT and they are all contractors. The difference between them and my husband is that my husband recently became a citizen. He doesn't have Visas to worry about anymore.

I can’t offer much insight into the issue of how the timing of citizenship status, his industry and professional qualifications intermingle with securing permanent work but I’m curious too. Maybe someone more familiar with what you’re sharing can do this.

I am trying to be gentle because my husband has been looking for a permanent position for a long time now. I know with my job I have always had a 3 month probationary period. I work for an insurance company. I think it's easier to get a consultanting position because he only had to do phone interview for the position he currently has. He interviewed for 2 permanent positions in DC and Texas last year before accepting this offer. He did not get a call back from the jobs where he had to interview in person.

[Anonymous]

If its Pharma he needs as an employer, look in New Jersey. J&J has a headquarters there, as well as other Pharma companies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If its Pharma he needs as an employer, look in New Jersey. J&J has a headquarters there, as well as other Pharma companies.

Yep,NJ is good.You could live in Pennsylvania and he could commute 30 minutes. (lower taxes)


Topic change......You have put a LOT of identifiers about your husband on this thread: home location, company, division he works in, his education, that he was born abroad. YIKES. It would not take long to figure out who you are. Chill on the details.

[Anonymous]

Why are you scared to say anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If its Pharma he needs as an employer, look in New Jersey. J&J has a headquarters there, as well as other Pharma companies.

Yes this. The pharmacy jobs are in the north east.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If its Pharma he needs as an employer, look in New Jersey. J&J has a headquarters there, as well as other Pharma companies.

Yep,NJ is good.You could live in Pennsylvania and he could commute 30 minutes. (lower taxes)


Topic change......You have put a LOT of identifiers about your husband on this thread: home location, company, division he works in, his education, that he was born abroad. YIKES. It would not take long to figure out who you are. Chill on the details.

Op I looked up your husband and he's hot. Is his name Marka?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If its Pharma he needs as an employer, look in New Jersey. J&J has a headquarters there, as well as other Pharma companies.

Yep,NJ is good.You could live in Pennsylvania and he could commute 30 minutes. (lower taxes)


Topic change......You have put a LOT of identifiers about your husband on this thread: home location, company, division he works in, his education, that he was born abroad. YIKES. It would not take long to figure out who you are. Chill on the details.

I guarantee almost of the employees in his division are Chinese.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why you can’t say anything to your husband. You need to tell all those things to your husband. Happiness (and that includes your happiness) is more important then a higher salary.

It will also look bad on his resume to only be at a job for one year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t say anything to your husband. You need to tell all those things to your husband. Happiness (and that includes your happiness) is more important then a higher salary.

It will also look bad on his resume to only be at a job for one year.

Op. I have said something to him this weekend. I don't want him to feel pressured to find a permanent position so I am trying not to talk about it. He knows how I feel because I have mentioned it in the past.