Tired of BIL’s awkward comments

[Anonymous]

troll
corporate lawyers don't wear Lilly Pulitzer. he should be seeing his wife in monochromatic clothes every day of the week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“You know what? I admire the heck out of your wife. She has a great career and is really good at what she does.” Or “your wife is wonderful. I couldn’t do what she does, x, y, or z.”
After multiple comments, you can be blunt; “that’s very disrespectful and way off base.”

This. You need to be direct to stop his bullying behavior. His wife will appreciate it and your husband will support you.

Agree. You need to be firm too when you say it. BIL's behavior is emotional abuse toward his wife. I bet he would miss her income and the perks that come with it when she slams the door shut on the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:troll
corporate lawyers don't wear Lilly Pulitzer. he should be seeing his wife in monochromatic clothes every day of the week

Are you sure the reverse isn’t true, that OP wears LP and SIL wears boring clothes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CUSS.HIS.ASS.OUT.

"Chuck, knock this shit off. It's not cute, it's not complimentary to me. Stop trying to use me to insult your wife . You ain't slick, you're sick. Keep this up and see how cute you sound with me beating your ass in this outfit you claim to like so much"
"Chuck, shut up"
"Mother******, please"
"Dude, you are a jerk"
"You know nobody here thinks you are slick"
"Lara, if you order because Chuck out right here right now you know nobody would blame you "
Or any variation you choose'

That's what I'm talkiing about! A good, old fashioned cuss out.

I don't know. This would never be my style. I would like my BIL and SIL to get along and would do everything to support SIL but not add more fuel to the fire. That never ends well.

This man is emotionally abusing his wife, and WITHOUT OP's permission using HER to do it.
AND has the further nerve to tell his own brother to mind his own business when He points this out to him???!!!!
WELL, NUCK IF YOU GONNA BUCK!
"Chuck, keep my d*** name out of your mouth. And when you say your wife's name, put some respect on it!!"

i don't know who you are but i wish you were coming to thanksgiving at my house to whisper in my ear what to say to every asshole in my family!

I know- I want to put these response on flashcards I do absolutely agree that it needs to be called out for what it is. Dodging or deflecting isn't helping SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CUSS.HIS.ASS.OUT.

"Chuck, knock this shit off. It's not cute, it's not complimentary to me. Stop trying to use me to insult your wife . You ain't slick, you're sick. Keep this up and see how cute you sound with me beating your ass in this outfit you claim to like so much"
"Chuck, shut up"
"Mother******, please"
"Dude, you are a jerk"
"You know nobody here thinks you are slick"
"Lara, if you order because Chuck out right here right now you know nobody would blame you "
Or any variation you choose'

That's what I'm talkiing about! A good, old fashioned cuss out.

I don't know. This would never be my style. I would like my BIL and SIL to get along and would do everything to support SIL but not add more fuel to the fire. That never ends well.

This man is emotionally abusing his wife, and WITHOUT OP's permission using HER to do it.
AND has the further nerve to tell his own brother to mind his own business when He points this out to him???!!!!
WELL, NUCK IF YOU GONNA BUCK!
"Chuck, keep my d*** name out of your mouth. And when you say your wife's name, put some respect on it!!"

i don't know who you are but i wish you were coming to thanksgiving at my house to whisper in my ear what to say to every asshole in my family!

HAHAHAHA , you don t need me.
Put these in your aresenal:
- Just stare at them like they are stupid and you are irritated , hold the gaze for about 15 seconds then turn away saying nothing
- "You big mad?"
- "Keep my name out of your mouth"
- "Bye, I said bye"
- "You best leave me alone , these are not problems you want to have"
The key is saying it like you mean it, and don't give a d***!
Happy Holidays

Don't get me wrong...these are awesome. Every last one. (And I can think of no fewer than 3 relatives of mine who could have used a dose of one of these over the last 2 years of family gatherings.)
But if I tried to use any of these, I'm pretty sure I'd be laughed at and accused of cultural appropriation.

[Anonymous]

I do think you need to shut it down in the moment, and not with comebacks about how awesome SIL is. That just kicks the can down the road because he's not being held accountable.

It's his behavior that's the problem - address it head on. I'd say something along the lines of, "Bob, it's clear you have some issue here. Stop using the way I do things to insult SIL. It makes me uncomfortable."

If he does it again I think your husband should step up and re-iterate that Bob using you as an example to insult and belittle SIL is not acceptable.

What an asshole. I hope she leaves him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"What a weird thing to say to both of us, Chuck."

I like this comment. I want my home to be a place where my kids do not hear bad language and so while I understand the desire to cuss out some person, I would diminish them by making statements like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CUSS.HIS.ASS.OUT.

"Chuck, knock this shit off. It's not cute, it's not complimentary to me. Stop trying to use me to insult your wife . You ain't slick, you're sick. Keep this up and see how cute you sound with me beating your ass in this outfit you claim to like so much"
"Chuck, shut up"
"Mother******, please"
"Dude, you are a jerk"
"You know nobody here thinks you are slick"
"Lara, if you order because Chuck out right here right now you know nobody would blame you "
Or any variation you choose'

That's what I'm talkiing about! A good, old fashioned cuss out.

I don't know. This would never be my style. I would like my BIL and SIL to get along and would do everything to support SIL but not add more fuel to the fire. That never ends well.

This man is emotionally abusing his wife, and WITHOUT OP's permission using HER to do it.
AND has the further nerve to tell his own brother to mind his own business when He points this out to him???!!!!
WELL, NUCK IF YOU GONNA BUCK!
"Chuck, keep my d*** name out of your mouth. And when you say your wife's name, put some respect on it!!"

i don't know who you are but i wish you were coming to thanksgiving at my house to whisper in my ear what to say to every asshole in my family!

HAHAHAHA , you don t need me.
Put these in your aresenal:
- Just stare at them like they are stupid and you are irritated , hold the gaze for about 15 seconds then turn away saying nothing
- "You big mad?"
- "Keep my name out of your mouth"
- "Bye, I said bye"
- "You best leave me alone , these are not problems you want to have"
The key is saying it like you mean it, and don't give a d***!
Happy Holidays

Don't get me wrong...these are awesome. Every last one. (And I can think of no fewer than 3 relatives of mine who could have used a dose of one of these over the last 2 years of family gatherings.)
But if I tried to use any of these, I'm pretty sure I'd be laughed at and accused of cultural appropriation.

...of course, but the point is to address it directly for exactly what it is. BIL is using OP to denigrate his wife.

A simple "Dave, Susan is my friend and you're lucky to be married to her. Please don't use me to criticize her."

[Anonymous]

I knew someone like this, every time they complimented me, I'd hit back with something about their wife. Him: I love your lasagna, wish Susan cooked something this good, or cooked at all. Me: Thanks, Bill. Susan is a kick ass lawyer, so I'm sure making lasagna is the last thing on her mind. Him: I really like your shoes. Thanks, I admired Susan's last time she was here and got me a pair (even though completely untrue).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:CUSS.HIS.ASS.OUT.

"Chuck, knock this shit off. It's not cute, it's not complimentary to me. Stop trying to use me to insult your wife . You ain't slick, you're sick. Keep this up and see how cute you sound with me beating your ass in this outfit you claim to like so much"
"Chuck, shut up"
"Mother******, please"
"Dude, you are a jerk"
"You know nobody here thinks you are slick"
"Lara, if you order because Chuck out right here right now you know nobody would blame you "
Or any variation you choose'

I did this a few times in a similar situation. Eventually, it worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CUSS.HIS.ASS.OUT.

"Chuck, knock this shit off. It's not cute, it's not complimentary to me. Stop trying to use me to insult your wife . You ain't slick, you're sick. Keep this up and see how cute you sound with me beating your ass in this outfit you claim to like so much"
"Chuck, shut up"
"Mother******, please"
"Dude, you are a jerk"
"You know nobody here thinks you are slick"
"Lara, if you order because Chuck out right here right now you know nobody would blame you "
Or any variation you choose'

That's what I'm talkiing about! A good, old fashioned cuss out.

I don't know. This would never be my style. I would like my BIL and SIL to get along and would do everything to support SIL but not add more fuel to the fire. That never ends well.

This man is emotionally abusing his wife, and WITHOUT OP's permission using HER to do it.
AND has the further nerve to tell his own brother to mind his own business when He points this out to him???!!!!
WELL, NUCK IF YOU GONNA BUCK!
"Chuck, keep my d*** name out of your mouth. And when you say your wife's name, put some respect on it!!"

i don't know who you are but i wish you were coming to thanksgiving at my house to whisper in my ear what to say to every asshole in my family!

Hell yes. And we have a functional, and mostly easy family and I still want you at my Thanksgiving. +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CUSS.HIS.ASS.OUT.

"Chuck, knock this shit off. It's not cute, it's not complimentary to me. Stop trying to use me to insult your wife . You ain't slick, you're sick. Keep this up and see how cute you sound with me beating your ass in this outfit you claim to like so much"
"Chuck, shut up"
"Mother******, please"
"Dude, you are a jerk"
"You know nobody here thinks you are slick"
"Lara, if you order because Chuck out right here right now you know nobody would blame you "
Or any variation you choose'

That's what I'm talkiing about! A good, old fashioned cuss out.

I don't know. This would never be my style. I would like my BIL and SIL to get along and would do everything to support SIL but not add more fuel to the fire. That never ends well.

This man is emotionally abusing his wife, and WITHOUT OP's permission using HER to do it.
AND has the further nerve to tell his own brother to mind his own business when He points this out to him???!!!!
WELL, NUCK IF YOU GONNA BUCK!
"Chuck, keep my d*** name out of your mouth. And when you say your wife's name, put some respect on it!!"

i don't know who you are but i wish you were coming to thanksgiving at my house to whisper in my ear what to say to every asshole in my family!

HAHAHAHA , you don t need me.
Put these in your aresenal:
- Just stare at them like they are stupid and you are irritated , hold the gaze for about 15 seconds then turn away saying nothing
- "You big mad?"
- "Keep my name out of your mouth"
- "Bye, I said bye"
- "You best leave me alone , these are not problems you want to have"
The key is saying it like you mean it, and don't give a d***!
Happy Holidays

Don't get me wrong...these are awesome. Every last one. (And I can think of no fewer than 3 relatives of mine who could have used a dose of one of these over the last 2 years of family gatherings.)
But if I tried to use any of these, I'm pretty sure I'd be laughed at and accused of cultural appropriation.

I did not say to wear black face and act like you think are She-Nay Nay from "Martin".
You hearing them in a stereotypical voice in your mind . Try hearing the voice as your own, LIKE.YOU.MEAN. IT.
P.S.
Not all black folks talk and sound alike and and there all kinds of people , black and otherwise that know how to stand up for themselves and tell folks off.

IJS

[Anonymous]

Say to him “why did you say that?” And keep repeating until he explains why he feels the need to be so outwardly rude. I think I might say you have had enough with the comparing comments and put downs to SIL and yell and embarrass him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CUSS.HIS.ASS.OUT.

"Chuck, knock this shit off. It's not cute, it's not complimentary to me. Stop trying to use me to insult your wife . You ain't slick, you're sick. Keep this up and see how cute you sound with me beating your ass in this outfit you claim to like so much"
"Chuck, shut up"
"Mother******, please"
"Dude, you are a jerk"
"You know nobody here thinks you are slick"
"Lara, if you order because Chuck out right here right now you know nobody would blame you "
Or any variation you choose'

That's what I'm talkiing about! A good, old fashioned cuss out.

I don't know. This would never be my style. I would like my BIL and SIL to get along and would do everything to support SIL but not add more fuel to the fire. That never ends well.

This man is emotionally abusing his wife, and WITHOUT OP's permission using HER to do it.
AND has the further nerve to tell his own brother to mind his own business when He points this out to him???!!!!
WELL, NUCK IF YOU GONNA BUCK!
"Chuck, keep my d*** name out of your mouth. And when you say your wife's name, put some respect on it!!"

i don't know who you are but i wish you were coming to thanksgiving at my house to whisper in my ear what to say to every asshole in my family!

HAHAHAHA , you don t need me.
Put these in your aresenal:
- Just stare at them like they are stupid and you are irritated , hold the gaze for about 15 seconds then turn away saying nothing
- "You big mad?"
- "Keep my name out of your mouth"
- "Bye, I said bye"
- "You best leave me alone , these are not problems you want to have"
The key is saying it like you mean it, and don't give a d***!
Happy Holidays

Dp. I love this!

[Anonymous]

What about:
“Oh, SIL, you are the better half in this relationship.” And then a side whisper to BIL- “She’s a lawyer. Divorcing her will ruin you.” And then walk away.