Tired of BIL’s awkward comments

[Anonymous]

You and your DH need to stick up for SIL in the moment. I'm sure this is torture for her...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CUSS.HIS.ASS.OUT.

"Chuck, knock this shit off. It's not cute, it's not complimentary to me. Stop trying to use me to insult your wife . You ain't slick, you're sick. Keep this up and see how cute you sound with me beating your ass in this outfit you claim to like so much"
"Chuck, shut up"
"Mother******, please"
"Dude, you are a jerk"
"You know nobody here thinks you are slick"
"Lara, if you order because Chuck out right here right now you know nobody would blame you "
Or any variation you choose'

That's what I'm talkiing about! A good, old fashioned cuss out.

I don't know. This would never be my style. I would like my BIL and SIL to get along and would do everything to support SIL but not add more fuel to the fire. That never ends well.

This man is emotionally abusing his wife, and WITHOUT OP's permission using HER to do it.
AND has the further nerve to tell his own brother to mind his own business when He points this out to him???!!!!
WELL, NUCK IF YOU GONNA BUCK!
"Chuck, keep my d*** name out of your mouth. And when you say your wife's name, put some respect on it!!"

i don't know who you are but i wish you were coming to thanksgiving at my house to whisper in my ear what to say to every asshole in my family!

[Anonymous]

Just imagine how he speaks to his wife in private.

[Anonymous]

"What a weird thing to say to both of us, Chuck."

[Anonymous]

Just tell him how you feel. Bringing up SIL will only embarrass her further: Bob, you are making me very uncomfortable. I want you to stop commenting on my clothes, cooking and anything else about me. I do not like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CUSS.HIS.ASS.OUT.

"Chuck, knock this shit off. It's not cute, it's not complimentary to me. Stop trying to use me to insult your wife . You ain't slick, you're sick. Keep this up and see how cute you sound with me beating your ass in this outfit you claim to like so much"
"Chuck, shut up"
"Mother******, please"
"Dude, you are a jerk"
"You know nobody here thinks you are slick"
"Lara, if you order because Chuck out right here right now you know nobody would blame you "
Or any variation you choose'

That's what I'm talkiing about! A good, old fashioned cuss out.

I don't know. This would never be my style. I would like my BIL and SIL to get along and would do everything to support SIL but not add more fuel to the fire. That never ends well.

This man is emotionally abusing his wife, and WITHOUT OP's permission using HER to do it.
AND has the further nerve to tell his own brother to mind his own business when He points this out to him???!!!!
WELL, NUCK IF YOU GONNA BUCK!
"Chuck, keep my d*** name out of your mouth. And when you say your wife's name, put some respect on it!!"

i don't know who you are but i wish you were coming to thanksgiving at my house to whisper in my ear what to say to every asshole in my family!

+1 Please let my judgemental sister have it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next time he compliments your cooking and insults hers:

“Thank you Bill, I’m glad you enjoyed the mashed potatoes” then with a big smile “But I hope you know that if DH ever talked to me the way you’re speaking to Larla he would be lucky to come home to a plate of rocks” Then shrug, smile “But that’s me, everyone’s different.”

He says he wished she spent more time with her kids the way you do.

“I think Larla is such a wonderful role model for her children and to mine. I hope you know that our children look up to Larla and we are all proud of your success.”

He compliments your clothing and insults hers:

“Thank you Bill, though I have to say that if DH commented negatively on my clothes he would get slapped. We’re all lucky Larla has more class than I would in that situation.” Be sure to end with a big smile every time.

And if he pushes back on anything you respond “oh, I’m just being honest. Do you want me to lie?”

I know these moments are uncomfortable and most people’s natural instinct is to get out of the situation. Your husband is not cutting off his brother so you can be prepared next time you see them. Practice a script. It’s so much easier when you already know what you’re going to say. Then you’re not coming up with something on the spot.

SIL might take these as a criticism of how she’s handling his comments. But I agree to speak up in the moment.

[Anonymous]

When BIL tells your husband or you to mind your own business, point out tat he’s making it your business by bringing you into it and using you to criticize his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CUSS.HIS.ASS.OUT.

"Chuck, knock this shit off. It's not cute, it's not complimentary to me. Stop trying to use me to insult your wife . You ain't slick, you're sick. Keep this up and see how cute you sound with me beating your ass in this outfit you claim to like so much"
"Chuck, shut up"
"Mother******, please"
"Dude, you are a jerk"
"You know nobody here thinks you are slick"
"Lara, if you order because Chuck out right here right now you know nobody would blame you "
Or any variation you choose'

That's what I'm talkiing about! A good, old fashioned cuss out.

I don't know. This would never be my style. I would like my BIL and SIL to get along and would do everything to support SIL but not add more fuel to the fire. That never ends well.

This man is emotionally abusing his wife, and WITHOUT OP's permission using HER to do it.
AND has the further nerve to tell his own brother to mind his own business when He points this out to him???!!!!
WELL, NUCK IF YOU GONNA BUCK!
"Chuck, keep my d*** name out of your mouth. And when you say your wife's name, put some respect on it!!"

i don't know who you are but i wish you were coming to thanksgiving at my house to whisper in my ear what to say to every asshole in my family!

HAHAHAHA , you don t need me.
Put these in your aresenal:
- Just stare at them like they are stupid and you are irritated , hold the gaze for about 15 seconds then turn away saying nothing
- "You big mad?"
- "Keep my name out of your mouth"
- "Bye, I said bye"
- "You best leave me alone , these are not problems you want to have"
The key is saying it like you mean it, and don't give a d***!
Happy Holidays

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell him how you feel. Bringing up SIL will only embarrass her further: Bob, you are making me very uncomfortable. I want you to stop commenting on my clothes, cooking and anything else about me. I do not like that.

Yes, tell him how you feel because he obviously cares a lot about people's feelings

[Anonymous]

Woman up and say something IN THE MOMENT. As someone stated, he is using you to, at best, shame his wife. At worse, he is emotionally abusive. I do not allow this. I do not allow someone to compliment me/my clothes/my cooking while insulting their wife in the process. Oh, dinner was good? Just say so. You don't have to say - Larla, your roast chicken is sooooo good, you know Larlita never cooks. My knee jerk response is to something like that is always, "Oh, someone will be sleeping on the couch tonight!".

Work on a response that feels right for you, loop your DH in, and do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call him out to his face, in real time, and stick up for her.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You and your DH need to stick up for SIL in the moment. I'm sure this is torture for her...

+1 Do this each and every time. I did this with my sister’s MIL and she cut it out after a while.

[Anonymous]

“I think those clothes look great on her.” Change the subject.

“Thank you, Doug. Could you please help me dry the dishes?”

“Donna does work very hard. Steve and I are so proud of her. We tell our friends what an amazing litigator she is.” Beam proudly at her.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t make your response about how you expect SIP auto repond (sleeping on the couch, etc). Just “wow, that’s a really unkind way to speak about your wife.” “You’re being mean, BIL.” Etc.