DH fear of flying + holidays

[Anonymous]

I used to fly all the time for work, and now the thought of flying keeps me up at night. What helps is avoiding crowds, a midday instead of late afternoon flight out of Dulles. SSRIs make a difference, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. That is actually how we got to this point. We have an almost 2yo who my brother has never met. My sister came out here for a week when she was first born, but has not been back since due to the cost of flying (which is prohibitive for her but not us). In April, I told him that this year, it is very important to me that we go to my family’s Christmas. He was nervous but because I told him “I need you to do this for me” he agreed. Now he is freaking out. I am sure he’ll go and that it’ll be fine. I’m frustrated because he will stress and complain for days in advance.

Counseling and divorce if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Pop an edible, not a super strong one (can purchase in district) right when getting at airport. By the time through security he will be better. I'm serious. I'd rather do this than Xanax, YMmV

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have not been out to visit them since 2015 because DH’s fear of flying is so severe that he won’t go and won’t agree for me to go with our kids alone

He doesn't need "to agree". You just go. What are you a slave?

Well, she's his wife. I assume he doesn't want to be away from her and the kids at the holidays. I'm sure op's dh has wonderful qualities which made her fall in love with him. I don't think this should be a deal breaker.

OP here. Jeez. Obviously I *could* take my children to my mother’s house alone for Christmas. I don’t need his PERMISSION to do it, but I love him and would never disrespect him that way. We have compromised in many ways related to travel over the past couple of years. Most of the compromise was done in the name of working up to visiting my family for longer periods of time (a month in the summer this coming summer, for example). My current frustration is that we already have these tickets. We booked them together and talked about it for weeks leading up to it. He’s not threatening to skip the trip, but he is dreading it. I want him to have a good time since it’s his Christmas too. I also don’t want him to be a cranky jerk on the days we fly and for (at this point) weeks leading up to the travel.

As for the suggestion about medication, he was prescribed various benzos for anxiety years ago. He didn’t like the way get affected him and stopped taking them. He now manages anxiety through CBT techniques and meditation, which works really well for everything except this one issue. I have suggested that he get a short term prescription for some Valium just for the planes and he has agreed to think about it. Thanks everyone for their advice.

But you accept him disrespecting you by not letting your kids see your family because he doesn't want to be groggy.