Do you believe there is such a thing as a divorce contagion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you are worried that someone else's divorce might end your marriage, your marriage is probably on the rocks already.

You seem smug.

I don't think it sounds smug, and I've never been married. Actually, that's kind of my point. Our entire group of best girlfriends formed when 1 was divorced, 1 was married (but it was getting rocky, they wound up getting divorced ) and 2 of us were single, never-married. Now, 10 years later, the 2 divorced ones are remarried, the other never-married got married this summer, and I'm still single.

Had group-think really been a problem, the first one to marry never would have done it when the other 3 of us were still single and free-wheeling (and we were, completely- none of us were even in serious relationships at that point). And I should be panicking now, because I'm the last single one, if that were the case. It's not. We're a group of individuals who happen to be extremely close with each other - we're also strong-minded, self-aware adults who have made the best choices for our own individual situations.

I do think that divorce can be "catching" but only amongst people who were already unhappy in their marriage. If people aren't, and they do it anyway, they are immature sheeple.

So basically none of your friend group is capable of finding and holding on to a loving responsible partner and working with them to raise 2+ kids. And your probably all highly educated.

This is a harbinger of civilizational collapse, honestly.

Not the poster but I love the reading comprehension. There is another half of the divorced couple that is part of the equation to making the first marriage work. I’m also seeing a group that has showed loyalty and caring towards each other when their situations were different and allowed for each other to make different choices (divorce, remarrry, single, engaged) and support each other. If anything I think civilization needs more of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you are worried that someone else's divorce might end your marriage, your marriage is probably on the rocks already.

You seem smug.

I don't think it sounds smug, and I've never been married. Actually, that's kind of my point. Our entire group of best girlfriends formed when 1 was divorced, 1 was married (but it was getting rocky, they wound up getting divorced ) and 2 of us were single, never-married. Now, 10 years later, the 2 divorced ones are remarried, the other never-married got married this summer, and I'm still single.

Had group-think really been a problem, the first one to marry never would have done it when the other 3 of us were still single and free-wheeling (and we were, completely- none of us were even in serious relationships at that point). And I should be panicking now, because I'm the last single one, if that were the case. It's not. We're a group of individuals who happen to be extremely close with each other - we're also strong-minded, self-aware adults who have made the best choices for our own individual situations.

I do think that divorce can be "catching" but only amongst people who were already unhappy in their marriage. If people aren't, and they do it anyway, they are immature sheeple.

So basically none of your friend group is capable of finding and holding on to a loving responsible partner and working with them to raise 2+ kids. And your probably all highly educated.

This is a harbinger of civilizational collapse, honestly.

Not the poster but I love the reading comprehension. There is another half of the divorced couple that is part of the equation to making the first marriage work. I’m also seeing a group that has showed loyalty and caring towards each other when their situations were different and allowed for each other to make different choices (divorce, remarrry, single, engaged) and support each other. If anything I think civilization needs more of that.

Thank you! Me and my friends are the ones who are, apparently, the harbingers of civilizations collapse. While I wasn't implying that civilizations need more people like us (that seems like it would be arrogant) you took my point and made it even further. I was just suggesting that if friends are true friends, who are not simply friends of convenience because their lives are similar, and aren't trying to one-up or keep up with each other, they can support each other's life choices without making the same ones, and remain friends throughout the different life stages/choices. I know we're lucky, I've heard of and seen friendships are not this way. I also think we have jointly earned this level of friendship - the first one to get married never worried we would stop inviting her on girls nights because we were all single and she wasn't, and she didn't ditch us for a group of newlywed wives, either. And so on and so on.

[Anonymous]

I believe there is divorce thread contagion. Once this thread was posted:

Do you believe there is such a thing as a divorce contagion?
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/762578.page

These followed:

Is it typically one big thing or a hundred small things that cause divorce
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/763346.page

Anyone else shocked when couples divorce?
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/762934.page

How did you know you were ready for divorce?
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/762837.page