Do you believe there is such a thing as a divorce contagion?

[Anonymous]

Next door neighbors were divorced last year. Now a friend down the street is getting divorced after a 30 year marriage. And with our last child out of the house, we are talking about separating.

I think what happens is you see other people get divorced, realize they survived it, and take the plunge.

[Anonymous]

ok.

[Anonymous]

Great, all the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next door neighbors were divorced last year. Now a friend down the street is getting divorced after a 30 year marriage. And with our last child out of the house, we are talking about separating.

I think what happens is you see other people get divorced, realize they survived it, and take the plunge.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Yes I do

Glad divorce is not common in my friends or family

[Anonymous]

Probably.

[Anonymous]

Yes I do believe there is a peer pressure phenomenon. Keeping up with the Jones. If you have a lot of friends who aren’t good influences, then you might get influenced.

[Anonymous]

When she has divorced friends, watch out. They are telling her how great it is and how easy it was to do.

[Anonymous]

I think seeing someone else do it makes it less scary. This is especially if they’re doing well.

If you’ve been having issues for a long time then I can see how seeing your friends get divorced could be motivating. Human beings are social animals after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Next door neighbors were divorced last year. Now a friend down the street is getting divorced after a 30 year marriage. And with our last child out of the house, we are talking about separating.

I think what happens is you see other people get divorced, realize they survived it, and take the plunge.

Agree.

I do too, but only where the marriage was already unhappy before the other couple(s) divorced.. If you’re unhappy in your marriage but afraid of the unknown of divorce, it can be reassuring to see someone else happy after divorce. It makes it less scary. For someone in a happy marriage, though, I don’t think seeing other people get divorced will suddenly make them unhappy in their own marriage.

[Anonymous]

A divorce in the circle won't infect a happy couple but it will push a tentative/ unhappy one over the edge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A divorce in the circle won't infect a happy couple but it will push a tentative/ unhappy one over the edge

Agree with this. Bil’s best friend got a divorce. A couple of years later he did too. I don’t think their marriage was that bad. SIL was somewhat anxious abscess controlling, and BIL felt under appreciated. They seemed to have pretty minimal problems that most people would try counseling for. I’ve often wondered if seeing his friend come out the other side of divorce was a factor. Just sucks when their are kids involved.

[Anonymous]

It's well documented in research. So yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A divorce in the circle won't infect a happy couple but it will push a tentative/ unhappy one over the edge

Agree with this. Bil’s best friend got a divorce. A couple of years later he did too. I don’t think their marriage was that bad. SIL was somewhat anxious abscess controlling, and BIL felt under appreciated. They seemed to have pretty minimal problems that most people would try counseling for. I’ve often wondered if seeing his friend come out the other side of divorce was a factor. Just sucks when their are kids involved.

Did he quickly move on to someone else?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely:

"McDermott and her colleagues found that study participants were 75% more likely to become divorced if a friend is divorced and 33% more likely to end their marriage if a friend of a friend is divorced."

http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/10/21/is-divorce-contagious/