I’m a Jellyfish Parent (?!)

[Anonymous]

You sound like a horrible wife. You let your DH be the bad cop so that your kid likes you more. You are selfish.

[Anonymous]

As usual on DCUM, a lot of judgy and self-righteous advice (really, "you sound like a horrible wife"??? - how rude is this poster?).

OP, if it's really just extra cookies and books then take a deep breath and let go of the mom guilt. If you reflect on it and it's bigger than that, then pick one or two things you'd like to get stricter on and work with DH to set those boundaries for your kid as a parenting team. If I had to guess, you're doing just fine. Don't let strangers make you feel inadequate unless you are really concerned. If you are concerned and want to reevaluate some of your parenting behaviors, that's normal and doable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a permissive parent. Apparently Jellyfish is the term, it’s like the anti-Tiger mom.

I don’t do it intentionally- it’s just how parenting is manifesting. DH is frustrated with my parenting style. He is tired of being the bad cop. I’m not sure how to change.

I had many years of fertility treatments, multiple miscarriages and a complicated pregnancy which caused some health issues for DD and me. I also had strict parents that went overboard with pressure/expectations (see only child thread) which resulted in a nervous breakdown in my late teens. After years of therapy to chill out, I just can’t get myself to sweat the small stuff anymore -cookie before dinner, ok. Another book at bedtime, eh. I’m not letting kid set off fireworks or do anything crazy.

Kid is delightful - parents and teachers always comment how good she is. So, do I need to change? And how?

Your DH is right. You are setting your child up to be a spoiled brat without much discipline. Get a hold of it before it gets harder to undo.