Fit is for Snowflakes

[Anonymous]

I guess colleges are happy to hang on to your kid for six years. University of Edinburgh 4 year graduation rate is 95%. Other top tier UK unis have more or less the same rate, good fit or not.

[Anonymous]

This goes for any kid, no matter how liberal or conservative. If you don't have many choices or much money you just go to the closest college or most affordable college and "suck it up."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This goes for any kid, no matter how liberal or conservative. If you don't have many choices or much money you just go to the closest college or most affordable college and "suck it up."

Exactly. "Fit" is for people who have the luxury of "choice". Most people don't. Most people are just lucky if they can go to any college much less a "fit".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid didn't get in where s/he wants to go, huh, OP? Stuck at a safety school that s/he doesn't see as a good fit?

Bummer.

I'm not OP but that is a really crappy thing to say. I agree with her. I grew up with 8 kids in my family and took 2 buses to be a commuter at my local university...no loans, no parents paying...just working 2 crappy jobs to be able to go there. You can bet I wanted something different for my kid...so we only had one kid and they went to an Ivy. But, OP is right...most people can't afford to have a choice to find the "right fit". They just have to find "right price". I can assure the person who wrote this crappy post to OP...you have no idea how the majority of people have to live in this country...most people don't have the luxury of "choice" or "fit". They just "do".

It was intended to be a crappy post, because OP is being an ass. But, you misunderstand the OP's post. Her main point is not that many people don't have options - that was a supporting point. Her main point was that kids who *do* have options and try to find a school that is a good "fit" are coddled whiners who needs to suck it up and quit worrying about trivial things like happiness. Because some (many) people don't have options, those that do are ridiculous babies when the exercise them.

But, although I did mean to make the OP feel badly, I didn't intend for that to spread to others. If it did, I apologize. OP is still an ass, though.

[Anonymous]

"Fit" is a euphemism for "I can afford any school and I will tell you we chose X school for Fit to make you feel superior about paying less at your state school and make your kid feel like he is smarter/tougher because I don't want to deal with your hurt ego

Same went for going to private school vs. public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This goes for any kid, no matter how liberal or conservative. If you don't have many choices or much money you just go to the closest college or most affordable college and "suck it up."

Exactly. "Fit" is for people who have the luxury of "choice". Most people don't. Most people are just lucky if they can go to any college much less a "fit".

And if you have enough money or opportunity to go to a college with good "fit" why wouldn't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This goes for any kid, no matter how liberal or conservative. If you don't have many choices or much money you just go to the closest college or most affordable college and "suck it up."

Exactly. "Fit" is for people who have the luxury of "choice". Most people don't. Most people are just lucky if they can go to any college much less a "fit".

And if you have enough money or opportunity to go to a college with good "fit" why wouldn't you?

Because it makes OP, who obviously didn’t, bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Fit" is a euphemism for "I can afford any school and I will tell you we chose X school for Fit to make you feel superior about paying less at your state school and make your kid feel like he is smarter/tougher because I don't want to deal with your hurt ego

Same went for going to private school vs. public school.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Fit" is a euphemism for "I can afford any school and I will tell you we chose X school for Fit to make you feel superior about paying less at your state school and make your kid feel like he is smarter/tougher because I don't want to deal with your hurt ego

Same went for going to private school vs. public school.

Okay, that was funny because I’m sure some parents do this. Pretty sure I’ve met some of them. “Jimmy could have gone to Princeton but the fit at Frostburg was too good to pass up.”

But seriously, how do YOU pick a college? Best value approach is almost always CC, followed by state flagship. Is it your view that everyone should take that route?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Fit" is a euphemism for "I can afford any school and I will tell you we chose X school for Fit to make you feel superior about paying less at your state school and make your kid feel like he is smarter/tougher because I don't want to deal with your hurt ego

Same went for going to private school vs. public school.

Okay, that was funny because I’m sure some parents do this. Pretty sure I’ve met some of them. “Jimmy could have gone to Princeton but the fit at Frostburg was too good to pass up.”

But seriously, how do YOU pick a college? Best value approach is almost always CC, followed by state flagship. Is it your view that everyone should take that route?

My son is dyslexic, he want to a very good private school. I lied and told people he went to private because he was dyslexic, he went because I liked the school and he liked high level sports. When he was young people were like "omg we have the best school why would you ever go public" I could have said, "because I can', "because it is better" or I could just say "he's dyslexic"... I chose to make the other person feel like my son couldn't hack it at public to make them feel better. It's a better "fit", he's a snowflake.


Same with his small private highly selective college instead of going to MD... "oh he would be eaten alive at MD".

You get I would never say this IRL, it sound terrible but it's the truth. I just loved the schools he went to and sure, public was "good too" but I liked the other schools better. BTW, I went to MD, I'm and Engineer, I think MD is da bomb... but I also think there are other options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Fit" is a euphemism for "I can afford any school and I will tell you we chose X school for Fit to make you feel superior about paying less at your state school and make your kid feel like he is smarter/tougher because I don't want to deal with your hurt ego

Same went for going to private school vs. public school.

For our family, fit is the school where my child feels comfortable attending. Comfortable includes, academic standards (challenging curriculum, interesting classes, appropriate schools of study), student body culture (liberal, conservative, down-to-earthy, snobby), cost (they ain't going where they can't afford), religious life, sports, etc. So you are somewhat right that fit does include affordability. Does it make us feel superior to say a school was the right fit? I can't say it does. I feel superior because my children are superior-- no matter where they go to school. Some people get caught up in needing the name or type of school to feel superior because they don't feel superior-- maybe that's you PP? I know my kids are superior and don't need the name of a school to affirm that knowledge. Whether he or she goes to Harvard, Maryland, Towson, UVA does not make me feel like my child is smarter, tougher or whatever it is you have written above. Having your child go to a school that is the right fit is the smart choice. For some people, the right fit is Yale and for others it is University of North Dakota.

[Anonymous]

I think it's dumb not to think of "fit" -- fit includes academic, social, geographic, financial and often involves casting a wider net than what initially appears to be the best choice. I think NOT thinking of fit is for "snowflakes" who don't do a serious in-depth analysis of the options and weigh one of your most major purchases as well as life experiences. I think it can be silly to reify some aspect of fit--but a not to think about it at all is just taking the simplest road forward rather than doing analysis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's dumb not to think of "fit" -- fit includes academic, social, geographic, financial and often involves casting a wider net than what initially appears to be the best choice. I think NOT thinking of fit is for "snowflakes" who don't do a serious in-depth analysis of the options and weigh one of your most major purchases as well as life experiences. I think it can be silly to reify some aspect of fit--but a not to think about it at all is just taking the simplest road forward rather than doing analysis.

I agree, although I think what OP is getting at is that being able to consider fit is a privilege. Most people are lucky to go to college at all and, if they do, have to pick the one they can afford. Being able to consider factors other than finances is a luxury most people don't have. So it's less about being a snowflake and more about privilege.

[Anonymous]

I went to a SLAC that is highly regarded on this board. It wasn't the best fit for me, and the fact that I was out of place turned out to be one of the best educational experiences of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every where you turn, someone is always waxing on and on about choosing a college based on fit. This is just ridiculous advice.

First of all, most kids just go to college near their home. Fit it no fit this is the primary driver
Second, financial considerations may drive the decisions on where to go.

For these two categories, it is not helping to hear that unless you find a good fit your experience at college is going to be shitty. This is just wrong. A US college is not a war zone for crying out loud. If you apply yourself, are diligent and don't goof off, you can get a decent education even if this college doesn't "fit you".

Obsessing over fit is such a first world problem. Get over it. This is what happens when you have too much choice. You start obsessing about trivial shit that 99% of the world can't afford to obsess over

Instead of feeling blessed that you can go to college, students obsess over whether they will be "happy" at any given school. This is a bunch of entitled nonsense. Your happiness is not dependent on whether you go to school A over school B. If you think this way, you are totally focused on the wrong thing. Colleges should not be there to make you "happy". They see there to impart some knowledge to you.

You didn't pick your parents, or your siblings and learned to be happy with them. You probably just went to your neighborhood school for 12 years and dealt with it and you're no worse off for it. So stop obsessing over "fit". It's all nonsense. Don't be a spineless snow flake

Ok. You can flame me now. Whatever

First of all, if you have no choice than of course you make the best of it. But, I would argue that fit is important. For example, if I am not good at science or math I would not be a good "fit" for MIT, would I? Probably have zero chance in hell of getting in...Or if you are a hippy, left leaning Lesbian you probably wouldn't fit in with Liberty college, would you?

Finding the right college is a luxury of course. But, no need to tear down people just because they see the world differently than you.

See. This is the problem. The left leaning lesbian has too much choice in America so she obsesses over whether Liberty will keep her happy. In any other part of the world, she would just go to Liberty, keep her mouth shut, get an education and get on with her life. Same with MIT. If you get into MIT and decide not to go because of fit, you are a fool. Ask all the kids in China and Singapore and Russia who would be thankful to get into a good school in their country. We Americans are spoilt rotten and are so entitled. We have too many choices and so focus on all the wrong things. We should be teaching our kids about grit not fit. We should be telling them, their job is to get a good education and not worry about happiness. We should be telling them to work their tails off. Instead we coddle them and dance to their petty demands. Ridiculous. Snow flake American kids need a boot camp experience to stiffen up their spines

You had me, until you compared China, Singapore and Russia. This is akin to comparing Apples, pears, and kiwi.