Fit is for Snowflakes

[Anonymous]

"Admission is much more likely at the highly competitive college where the applicant can demonstrate a good fit - in both directions (school is a good fit for the student, student is a good fit for the school)."

+1

Similarly, the idea that you don't get to pick your employer based on fit is only true because EMPLOYERS hire off the short list entirely on FIT.

So your resume may get you on the short list but if you don't fit, NO JOB FOR YOU.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s hilarious that OP is on this website. What possible point could it serve other than to troll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s hilarious that OP is on this website. What possible point could it serve other than to troll?

It seems that OP's viewpoint is framed around non-selective colleges and that's fine but this board tends to focus on highly selective colleges so OP's opinion is worthless.

[Anonymous]

Your kid didn't get in where s/he wants to go, huh, OP? Stuck at a safety school that s/he doesn't see as a good fit?

Bummer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s hilarious that OP is on this website. What possible point could it serve other than to troll?

It seems that OP's viewpoint is framed around non-selective colleges and that's fine but this board tends to focus on highly selective colleges so OP's opinion is worthless.

More to the point, there is no need to discuss schools of any stripe because it’s all so snowflakey. Nearest and cheapest is best. What could anyone here teach OP?

[Anonymous]

I actually agree with much of the substance of your post, but I'm wondering why you feel you have to label kids whose parents don't agree with you as "snowflakes" and "entitled"?

[Anonymous]

I don't agree with it all, but I will say a bachelors doesn't mean much anymore so going to a school that is cheap is the best plan for furthering education.

The amount of people here set for ivy and high caliber schools and will pay $50-70K for them seems insane. DC has multiple in state options all over the country and MD and VA both have options as well.

I think most kids are much happier to get away from the intensity of small rigorous environments and are very happy to be around normal people outside of the DC metro.

[Anonymous]

The US is a first world country, so our problems are by definition first world problems. Outside of a a handful of world-class universities, both China and India have thousands of terrible higher ed institutions, according to their own education ministries. You don't get a choice because there are few choices in those countries. If you have a run of the mill smart kid destined to be a middle manager or junior executive, any land grant college will do fine. Go ahead and pick a school based on your favorite D1 sport. You don't have to worry about fit. To put it in terms you might understand, a recreational club team athlete can go to any college but a nationally recruited athlete with pro potential has to evaluate the coaching staff, the players in his position, and how the team's playing style will showcase their skills.

But, if you have a student who is not borderline for the upper echelons of academia, it matters a lot where you go to college for mentors, networks, and support. With stress levels as high as they are among the best students, the culture and location can make a difference between doing fine and really thriving. The kids going to the top colleges are among the 99+ percentiles, so they have different concerns than yours.

[Anonymous]

When you walk into a store and there is a rack of 7 shirts, identical except for size, why would you struggle to put on the one that is too small instead of choosing the one that fits?

Sure if you are the last one to the store and only one shirt is left, you make do, but if you have options, choose the best fit.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid OP. My oldest probably is a snowflake. Severe ADHD but doing well at TJ with supports. He does very well in the hands on science and tech classes, and in the discussion based HUM classes. He really struggles with lectures and rote memorization. He understands the math, but struggles with the lectures and his grade in math in always much lower than everything else, despite perfect SAT, SAT 2, PSAT math scores.. He needs a school where he will be in smaller, discussion based classes and not large lectures. It’s the difference between an A and a C or an F. And since he wants a PhD, that matters. He isn’t even applying to UVA. It WM vs Kenyon, Oberlin, Wooster, Grinnell, Denison, Macalaster, Davidson, etc. will largely come down to money and if he gets merit aid.

My other TJ kid is very bloom where you are planted. She will probably go to the best engineering school she can get into and we can afford.

If your kids can do well anywhere, be grateful OP. Many kids can. But some kids have something else going on that makes the college search more complicated and more individualized.

And BTW. I’m a lawyer. And like many lawyers, especially female lawyers, left a big Law for Federal Government doing work I enjoy more, with less stress and pressure, telework days and a better environment, where I can be available for my kids. Of course professionals like lawyers consider “fit” And I am certainly not alone in opting for less money and no big law partner title in exchange for loving what I do and having a good work-life balance.

So yeah... you do you. I’m not sure what makes you an expert in what is best for other people’s kids. And yes, in other countries you have limited choices. But in those countries education is a scare response, and only those kids who can work within the one set education system advance. My daughter would do well in such a system.

The US educates a broader range of kids. Like my son, who is brilliant, and will be able to do a very high education job. But would not be able to attend college in many foreign education systems. And remember that many kids in those foreign systems come to the US and get into great schools because they can’t succeed in them either.

I am not sure what the problem is in finding an environment where your kid will succeed vs fail. It is better for society for my kid to become an science PhD with a UMC lifestyle than a high school or college drop out who has trouble doing a memial job and could well use alcohol or drugs to self medicate. Which is not exactly unheard of in ADHD kids.

Also, my kid is not applying to Ivys or tippy top SLACs because we can’t afford private without some merit aid. You can bust on the Missouri vs. Ivy parents. But free state honors college can be tough for a donut hole family to turn down. Especially if their kid plans to go to grad school. If you can get into the same grad school out of Mizzou Honor College vs Columbia, and have money to pay for grad school vs $100,000 in undergrad debt, maybe it is a good choice for that kid. My kid will go WM or akenyon with 1/2 tuition merit with no debt vs Williams with a large debt load in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

OP, where are you from originally? Because American English = spoiled, not spoilt. What cultural background and experience is informing your world view here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid didn't get in where s/he wants to go, huh, OP? Stuck at a safety school that s/he doesn't see as a good fit?

Bummer.

I'm not OP but that is a really crappy thing to say. I agree with her. I grew up with 8 kids in my family and took 2 buses to be a commuter at my local university...no loans, no parents paying...just working 2 crappy jobs to be able to go there. You can bet I wanted something different for my kid...so we only had one kid and they went to an Ivy. But, OP is right...most people can't afford to have a choice to find the "right fit". They just have to find "right price". I can assure the person who wrote this crappy post to OP...you have no idea how the majority of people have to live in this country...most people don't have the luxury of "choice" or "fit". They just "do".

[Anonymous]

No fit is for people who are a cut above just worrying about survival and who put thought and care into creating a higher quality of life for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every where you turn, someone is always waxing on and on about choosing a college based on fit. This is just ridiculous advice.

First of all, most kids just go to college near their home. Fit it no fit this is the primary driver
Second, financial considerations may drive the decisions on where to go.

For these two categories, it is not helping to hear that unless you find a good fit your experience at college is going to be shitty. This is just wrong. A US college is not a war zone for crying out loud. If you apply yourself, are diligent and don't goof off, you can get a decent education even if this college doesn't "fit you".

Obsessing over fit is such a first world problem. Get over it. This is what happens when you have too much choice. You start obsessing about trivial shit that 99% of the world can't afford to obsess over

Instead of feeling blessed that you can go to college, students obsess over whether they will be "happy" at any given school. This is a bunch of entitled nonsense. Your happiness is not dependent on whether you go to school A over school B. If you think this way, you are totally focused on the wrong thing. Colleges should not be there to make you "happy". They see there to impart some knowledge to you.

You didn't pick your parents, or your siblings and learned to be happy with them. You probably just went to your neighborhood school for 12 years and dealt with it and you're no worse off for it. So stop obsessing over "fit". It's all nonsense. Don't be a spineless snow flake

Ok. You can flame me now. Whatever

What is your most recent experience applying to colleges? Do you have any children who have applied in the recent past? From the tone of your post, I am guessing that the answer is no. Preachy people generally speak out of ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No fit is for people who are a cut above just worrying about survival and who put thought and care into creating a higher quality of life for themselves.

Looking at the big picture, American colleges have 55% of kids graduate in 6 years. At top colleges that number is in the mid 90s. Yes, some LMC kids without great parental supports or educated parents have to go to any college where they can get into and find a way to pay for it. They will probably go the community college to 4 year college route, or go somewhere they can live at home and save money. But the reality is that LMC kids are more likely than not to not get a degree. Vs a UMC kid who goes to WM or UVA and is almost certain to graduate. And that’s before you consider the fact that a WM or UVA degree will get you further on just a BA/BS and make grad school much more possible.

So yes, you can be one of i kids and take 3 buses to school and work two jobs and walk 8 miles a day uphill in the snow and get a degree. But you are beating the odds.