Fit is for Snowflakes

[Anonymous]

I'm the HK poster. Once, I was at a symposium and there was a group of US college students who joined us. One girl looked white but had a Peruvian mother so she qualified as 'Hispanic'. She told me she was accepted at Brown but didn't think "I couldn't see myself there" so she chose to go to Mizzou. Me and my local friends thought she was crazy. We still do.

[Anonymous]

The best fit for my son is a school that gives us enough FA so I won't have to qualify for food stamps. OP put financial considerations as #2 on the list but I think in reality, it is #1 by far.

[Anonymous]

The smaller the school the more important "fit" is. Many parent do not want a small environment for their student for this reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every where you turn, someone is always waxing on and on about choosing a college based on fit. This is just ridiculous advice.

First of all, most kids just go to college near their home. Fit it no fit this is the primary driver
Second, financial considerations may drive the decisions on where to go.

For these two categories, it is not helping to hear that unless you find a good fit your experience at college is going to be shitty. This is just wrong. A US college is not a war zone for crying out loud. If you apply yourself, are diligent and don't goof off, you can get a decent education even if this college doesn't "fit you".

Obsessing over fit is such a first world problem. Get over it. This is what happens when you have too much choice. You start obsessing about trivial shit that 99% of the world can't afford to obsess over

Instead of feeling blessed that you can go to college, students obsess over whether they will be "happy" at any given school. This is a bunch of entitled nonsense. Your happiness is not dependent on whether you go to school A over school B. If you think this way, you are totally focused on the wrong thing. Colleges should not be there to make you "happy". They see there to impart some knowledge to you.

You didn't pick your parents, or your siblings and learned to be happy with them. You probably just went to your neighborhood school for 12 years and dealt with it and you're no worse off for it. So stop obsessing over "fit". It's all nonsense. Don't be a spineless snow flake

Ok. You can flame me now. Whatever

First of all, if you have no choice than of course you make the best of it. But, I would argue that fit is important. For example, if I am not good at science or math I would not be a good "fit" for MIT, would I? Probably have zero chance in hell of getting in...Or if you are a hippy, left leaning Lesbian you probably wouldn't fit in with Liberty college, would you?

Finding the right college is a luxury of course. But, no need to tear down people just because they see the world differently than you.

See. This is the problem. The left leaning lesbian has too much choice in America so she obsesses over whether Liberty will keep her happy. In any other part of the world, she would just go to Liberty, keep her mouth shut, get an education and get on with her life. Same with MIT. If you get into MIT and decide not to go because of fit, you are a fool. Ask all the kids in China and Singapore and Russia who would be thankful to get into a good school in their country. We Americans are spoilt rotten and are so entitled. We have too many choices and so focus on all the wrong things. We should be teaching our kids about grit not fit. We should be telling them, their job is to get a good education and not worry about happiness. We should be telling them to work their tails off. Instead we coddle them and dance to their petty demands. Ridiculous. Snow flake American kids need a boot camp experience to stiffen up their spines

Well then I can thank my lucky stars we don’t live in any of those other countries because their lives sound miserable by your description. Maybe instead of putting us down, you can work toward understanding why happiness and mental health are important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the HK poster. Once, I was at a symposium and there was a group of US college students who joined us. One girl looked white but had a Peruvian mother so she qualified as 'Hispanic'. She told me she was accepted at Brown but didn't think "I couldn't see myself there" so she chose to go to Mizzou. Me and my local friends thought she was crazy. We still do.

Maybe the girl thought she'd flunk out at Brown. Earning B's and a diploma at the University of Missouri beats flunking out at Brown.

[Anonymous]

The reason for the interest in fit is that most good U.S. students can choose from a list of 300 or 400 perfectly good colleges and universities.

If you can attend any one of 100 schools for roughly the same out-of-pocket price, why not pick one with people you like in a location you like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the HK poster. Once, I was at a symposium and there was a group of US college students who joined us. One girl looked white but had a Peruvian mother so she qualified as 'Hispanic'. She told me she was accepted at Brown but didn't think "I couldn't see myself there" so she chose to go to Mizzou. Me and my local friends thought she was crazy. We still do.

*shrug* research is pretty clear that students who get into Ivy League et al schools yet elect to go elsewhere do just as well in life as they would have had they gone to the Ivy.

So, I guess it's your prerogative to think she's crazy, but in doing so you're just confirming your ignorance.

[Anonymous]

That is one angry OP, particularly since s/he seems intent on responding to every post. I am sorry you have had such a bad weekend that would make you come rant on an anonymous website about privileged American kids who would be better off with no choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every where you turn, someone is always waxing on and on about choosing a college based on fit. This is just ridiculous advice.

First of all, most kids just go to college near their home. Fit it no fit this is the primary driver
Second, financial considerations may drive the decisions on where to go.

For these two categories, it is not helping to hear that unless you find a good fit your experience at college is going to be shitty. This is just wrong. A US college is not a war zone for crying out loud. If you apply yourself, are diligent and don't goof off, you can get a decent education even if this college doesn't "fit you".

Obsessing over fit is such a first world problem. Get over it. This is what happens when you have too much choice. You start obsessing about trivial shit that 99% of the world can't afford to obsess over

Instead of feeling blessed that you can go to college, students obsess over whether they will be "happy" at any given school. This is a bunch of entitled nonsense. Your happiness is not dependent on whether you go to school A over school B. If you think this way, you are totally focused on the wrong thing. Colleges should not be there to make you "happy". They see there to impart some knowledge to you.

You didn't pick your parents, or your siblings and learned to be happy with them. You probably just went to your neighborhood school for 12 years and dealt with it and you're no worse off for it. So stop obsessing over "fit". It's all nonsense. Don't be a spineless snow flake

Ok. You can flame me now. Whatever

First of all, if you have no choice than of course you make the best of it. But, I would argue that fit is important. For example, if I am not good at science or math I would not be a good "fit" for MIT, would I? Probably have zero chance in hell of getting in...Or if you are a hippy, left leaning Lesbian you probably wouldn't fit in with Liberty college, would you?

Finding the right college is a luxury of course. But, no need to tear down people just because they see the world differently than you.

See. This is the problem. The left leaning lesbian has too much choice in America so she obsesses over whether Liberty will keep her happy. In any other part of the world, she would just go to Liberty, keep her mouth shut, get an education and get on with her life. Same with MIT. If you get into MIT and decide not to go because of fit, you are a fool. Ask all the kids in China and Singapore and Russia who would be thankful to get into a good school in their country. We Americans are spoilt rotten and are so entitled. We have too many choices and so focus on all the wrong things. We should be teaching our kids about grit not fit. We should be telling them, their job is to get a good education and not worry about happiness. We should be telling them to work their tails off. Instead we coddle them and dance to their petty demands. Ridiculous. Snow flake American kids need a boot camp experience to stiffen up their spines

Those four words put into bold say it all, OP: This hypothetical left leaning lesbian who goes to religious, conservative Liberty should "keep her mouth shut" for four solid years to get her diploma because she was so lucky to get into college, period. So by that thinking, a deeply conservative evangelical Christian student who gets into a highly secular and liberal college should also suck it up, go, and "keep her mouth shut," right? Because they're so privileged to go to college at all. No need for them to worry about how to spend their time when they're not in class or studying, because in your thinking, they have no need to expect anything from four years of college other than a degree,

Any minute not spent in class or studying is mere coddling. Got it. Those spines sure will be stiffened after four years of your idea of college.

[Anonymous]

Did you just buy any home or did you buy the one that fit your needs, wants, location and budget? If I’m spending as much as a small house on college, it better be a damn good home for 4 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every where you turn, someone is always waxing on and on about choosing a college based on fit. This is just ridiculous advice.

First of all, most kids just go to college near their home. Fit it no fit this is the primary driver
Second, financial considerations may drive the decisions on where to go.

For these two categories, it is not helping to hear that unless you find a good fit your experience at college is going to be shitty. This is just wrong. A US college is not a war zone for crying out loud. If you apply yourself, are diligent and don't goof off, you can get a decent education even if this college doesn't "fit you".

Obsessing over fit is such a first world problem. Get over it. This is what happens when you have too much choice. You start obsessing about trivial shit that 99% of the world can't afford to obsess over

Instead of feeling blessed that you can go to college, students obsess over whether they will be "happy" at any given school. This is a bunch of entitled nonsense. Your happiness is not dependent on whether you go to school A over school B. If you think this way, you are totally focused on the wrong thing. Colleges should not be there to make you "happy". They see there to impart some knowledge to you.

You didn't pick your parents, or your siblings and learned to be happy with them. You probably just went to your neighborhood school for 12 years and dealt with it and you're no worse off for it. So stop obsessing over "fit". It's all nonsense. Don't be a spineless snow flake

Ok. You can flame me now. Whatever

First of all, if you have no choice than of course you make the best of it. But, I would argue that fit is important. For example, if I am not good at science or math I would not be a good "fit" for MIT, would I? Probably have zero chance in hell of getting in...Or if you are a hippy, left leaning Lesbian you probably wouldn't fit in with Liberty college, would you?

Finding the right college is a luxury of course. But, no need to tear down people just because they see the world differently than you.

See. This is the problem. The left leaning lesbian has too much choice in America so she obsesses over whether Liberty will keep her happy. In any other part of the world, she would just go to Liberty, keep her mouth shut, get an education and get on with her life. Same with MIT. If you get into MIT and decide not to go because of fit, you are a fool. Ask all the kids in China and Singapore and Russia who would be thankful to get into a good school in their country. We Americans are spoilt rotten and are so entitled. We have too many choices and so focus on all the wrong things. We should be teaching our kids about grit not fit. We should be telling them, their job is to get a good education and not worry about happiness. We should be telling them to work their tails off. Instead we coddle them and dance to their petty demands. Ridiculous. Snow flake American kids need a boot camp experience to stiffen up their spines

Well then I can thank my lucky stars we don’t live in any of those other countries because their lives sound miserable by your description. Maybe instead of putting us down, you can work toward understanding why happiness and mental health are important.

Students from Singapore and China rank very highly for their academic aptitude compared to American kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the HK poster. Once, I was at a symposium and there was a group of US college students who joined us. One girl looked white but had a Peruvian mother so she qualified as 'Hispanic'. She told me she was accepted at Brown but didn't think "I couldn't see myself there" so she chose to go to Mizzou. Me and my local friends thought she was crazy. We still do.

*shrug* research is pretty clear that students who get into Ivy League et al schools yet elect to go elsewhere do just as well in life as they would have had they gone to the Ivy.

So, I guess it's your prerogative to think she's crazy, but in doing so you're just confirming your ignorance.

You're calling me ignorant? If your kid was accepted in an Ivy League college, but chose to attend school in a Podunk state, you wouldn't look at them like they have two heads? You're probably one of those parents who go "Oh, I'm happy with whatever you choose honey" which doesn't happen in any other parenting culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the HK poster. Once, I was at a symposium and there was a group of US college students who joined us. One girl looked white but had a Peruvian mother so she qualified as 'Hispanic'. She told me she was accepted at Brown but didn't think "I couldn't see myself there" so she chose to go to Mizzou. Me and my local friends thought she was crazy. We still do.

*shrug* research is pretty clear that students who get into Ivy League et al schools yet elect to go elsewhere do just as well in life as they would have had they gone to the Ivy.

So, I guess it's your prerogative to think she's crazy, but in doing so you're just confirming your ignorance.

Completely agree with the OP and this post. If your kid has some hustle, they'll be fine wherever they go. However, my big piece of advice to mine is to make sure you can take public transit to wherever the jobs are locally, so you can have your choice of undergrad internships. Nobody you'd want to work for wants to hire some goofy snowflake who's never worked a day.

[Anonymous]

Those four words put into bold say it all, OP: This hypothetical left leaning lesbian who goes to religious, conservative Liberty should "keep her mouth shut" for four solid years to get her diploma because she was so lucky to get into college, period. So by that thinking, a deeply conservative evangelical Christian student who gets into a highly secular and liberal college should also suck it up, go, and "keep her mouth shut," right? Because they're so privileged to go to college at all. No need for them to worry about how to spend their time when they're not in class or studying, because in your thinking, they have no need to expect anything from four years of college other than a degree,

Any minute not spent in class or studying is mere coddling. Got it. Those spines sure will be stiffened after four years of your idea of college.

You are there to get an education, not to pontificate on social justice and diversity. Yes this applies to conservative kids in liberal colleges too. You are welcome to be an activist, but to expect a college to support your activism is an extreme form on entitlement. When you go to b work, you are expected to work. Not to start a social movement. Same for education. This is the problem. Nowadays students don't view colleges as a place to get an education. They view it as a place to validate their beliefs. That if why fit had become so important. Students are saying "If this college doesn't see it my way, then I don't want to go there, forget what I can learn there. The fit isn't there", which is absurd. We Americans are spoilt rotten by our indulgence

[Anonymous]

I can see where OP is coming from, and agree to an extent ... But really, one of the biggest advantages of our system is the breadth of opportunities that are available. If there are ten different colleges of equal (or at least comparable) distance and price, why not choose the one that is the best fit?

I went to Caltech. With an undergrad student body of about 900 at the time, and a very distinct undergrad culture, you'd be miserable if you didn't fit that mold. Don't get me wrong, they were very accepting of things like race or heritage, but the "student culture" aspect was really strong. People didn't decide Caltech vs UCSD based on culture, but they absolutely decided CalTech vs MIT based on culture. I'm one of them - admitted to MIT, but choose Caltech because the culture "fit" me. I'm not any worse off for that choice, and I appreciate that the choice was mine to make.