Middle school gossip page on Instagram

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid's middle school has a few of these accounts. You can report them to Instagram but the kids will just start another account.

It's still worthwhile to tell the school and push for the counseling office and/or administration to be very clear with kids that this is not acceptable. It may be "legal" -- if the kids are over 13 -- but it's not acceptable.

Kids need to start understanding that adults, including their own teachers, counselors and the principal and staff, can and will look at students' online activity and won't hesitate to call them out it.

When a bunch of "ship" postings were running like wildfire through our MS, the principal was all over it the minute she was told about it (by the parents of a student who was very distressed by being pictured on it). Some kids ended up having to go to her office and explain why they felt it was appropriate to publicly post pictures of other kids who had not given permission to them to do so. That nonsense ended fast.

Parents need to be more active about monitoring kids and cracking down if the kids are doing things that are mean or just plain dumb online. It's not a place to experiment with being foolish, despite the fact that many adults treat social media that way. These same kids who find social media gossip funny now are going to be the ones who as seniors are posting pictures of themselves drinking and acting the fool, and yes -- colleges now actually DO look at applicants' social media and where they're tagged on others' social media. Not all the time, no. But enough that parents should be concerned enough to teach their kids to stop thinking everything they post is just for fun.

If the kids aren’t dumb enough to use school computers, do it on school wifi or use school e-mail, how exactly will a principal prove responsibility?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why mine dont do instragrams, the facebook, or twitter. I am the parent, I pay the bills, I allow or disallow the Apps.

I've hammered it over and over. People just eventually get themselves in trouble on social media. Its a sure thing, eventually. Aint worth it.

Also, you cant be cyberbullied if nobody can cyber contact you. Think about that. Also you cant inadvertently anger someone.

I dont use this stuff, and dont allow my kids to. When they get to be 18 and pay the bills, they can I guess. But maybe by then I will have been vindicated and they will stay clear.

Of course you can be cyberbullied even if you aren't on social media. If everyone in school is posting mean stuff about your kid on Instagram and talking about it in school, do you think your kid won't know or suffer??? That's just a stupid thing to tell your kids because they know its not true.

Actually, people can get bullied at school or workplace, but it is hard to get cyber bullied on social media if they are not on social media. Real life bullying happens when people know you and interact with you in real life. Cyberbullying can happen with someone who knows you and targets you, but is joined by online trolls who may not even know you.

I am a school counselor. Cyberbullying does not get traction at all when the intended victim is not on social media. The above pp has a great point, however, remember that even if the children are not on social media, they can be targeted and harmed by being on the internet or using their smart phones in many other ways.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade daughter told me that some anonymous kid started an Instagram page called “ insert school name here” tea. Kids send in gossip about other kids and the senders name is removed. Pretty much every kid in the school follows it. This is horrifying and i think this might actually be common for other schools. The sad thing is that I don’t think there’s anything that can really be done to stop it.

Can you tell us what school please? Parents need to know this stuff because if kids are writing mean stuff they need to know about it.

Do you have your own instagram? I searched for my kid's school by typing in "(school name) tea" and found that a page that existed but the anonymous owner saying they were going inactive and not posting anymore. There are also "ships" pages - harder to find, but if you are on instagram and follow your kid, you can look at what your kid is following.

What school is this? I’m wondering if it’s my kid’s school - same scenario.

[Anonymous]

Another pro-tip...there are usually a few "cool" kids who are hoping to gain enough followers to be social influencers so they keep everything public. You go to that kids IG and go down his or her "follow" list. It's a goldmine Report any bullying of kids you see on there to the principal and screenshot it. The administration needs to know when sometimes the model kids turn out to be unbelievably cruel online. Principals are not supposed to ignore this. We got a huge apology from the school, parents and the students involved when something was posted about our child with SN with a photo. The kids had consequences at home and school. There were far worse things about other students and I am glad I could make sure those kids were protected.

If you report to IG and it gets removed before admin sees it's like cutting the head off a snake...new ones grow rapidly. You need admin involved to get to the heart of the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why mine dont do instragrams, the facebook, or twitter. I am the parent, I pay the bills, I allow or disallow the Apps.

I've hammered it over and over. People just eventually get themselves in trouble on social media. Its a sure thing, eventually. Aint worth it.

Also, you cant be cyberbullied if nobody can cyber contact you. Think about that. Also you cant inadvertently anger someone.

I dont use this stuff, and dont allow my kids to. When they get to be 18 and pay the bills, they can I guess. But maybe by then I will have been vindicated and they will stay clear.

Of course you can be cyberbullied even if you aren't on social media. If everyone in school is posting mean stuff about your kid on Instagram and talking about it in school, do you think your kid won't know or suffer??? That's just a stupid thing to tell your kids because they know its not true.

Actually, people can get bullied at school or workplace, but it is hard to get cyber bullied on social media if they are not on social media. Real life bullying happens when people know you and interact with you in real life. Cyberbullying can happen with someone who knows you and targets you, but is joined by online trolls who may not even know you.

I am a school counselor. Cyberbullying does not get traction at all when the intended victim is not on social media. The above pp has a great point, however, remember that even if the children are not on social media, they can be targeted and harmed by being on the internet or using their smart phones in many other ways.

^^^ THIS...

If a child is being talked about IN school, that crosses the line into actual bullying, and at that point the school can and should do something about it...but nameless losers talking about you online...who gives a shit. Especially in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter's school has it. It's half "blind items" (guess which popular basketball star asked out the girl known for sucking her hair and eating lunch in the library?) and half "Overheard" items. They love it and find it hilarious.

My daughter, who is small, white, and has long brown hair was out sick for a week. Here's the overheard:

DD: Hi
Mr. G: You're back! You were gone so long I forgot what you looked like.
DD: I still look like this.
Mr. G: So you're not bald, black and bodacious?

My first thought was, "How is this remotely funny?", then I remembered we're talking about anonymous middle school posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:free speech

Children who are too young to sign up for instagram do not have free speech on instagram.

you are talking about minors and cyber bullying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter's school has it. It's half "blind items" (guess which popular basketball star asked out the girl known for sucking her hair and eating lunch in the library?) and half "Overheard" items. They love it and find it hilarious.

My daughter, who is small, white, and has long brown hair was out sick for a week. Here's the overheard:

DD: Hi
Mr. G: You're back! You were gone so long I forgot what you looked like.
DD: I still look like this.
Mr. G: So you're not bald, black and bodacious?

Why the hell do you think something like this is hilarious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter's school has it. It's half "blind items" (guess which popular basketball star asked out the girl known for sucking her hair and eating lunch in the library?) and half "Overheard" items. They love it and find it hilarious.

My daughter, who is small, white, and has long brown hair was out sick for a week. Here's the overheard:

DD: Hi
Mr. G: You're back! You were gone so long I forgot what you looked like.
DD: I still look like this.
Mr. G: So you're not bald, black and bodacious?

Why the hell do you think something like this is hilarious?

I don’t think OP finds it hilarious, she was just giving an example of the middle school humor that is on the account. Too bad it smacks of racism. It’s pretty awful, OP.

[Anonymous]

Oh that is really common. It’s died due to nobody being in school, but was a thing last year. Especially the “ship” pages (crushes??). I would stay out of it unless my kid was named.

[Anonymous]

My 7th grade dd isn’t allowed to have social media yet. This crap is why. And yes I check her phone and no she doesn’t have finstas. I’m not looking forward to when she does. These poor kids. At least when I was a loser in middle and high school, I didn’t have to see it broadcasted on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think almost every middle school likely has something like this.

Yes, I think this is true. But, it is also true that you can get it taken down by IG and you can/should report to the principal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh that is really common. It’s died due to nobody being in school, but was a thing last year. Especially the “ship” pages (crushes??). I would stay out of it unless my kid was named.

Wrong attitude.You should be checking what your child is doing there. Your child may be contributing gossip or she/he is just reinforcing it by being a follower. They will report on things like who gave head to whom, teachers they want to F, and all sorts of things. There is also a lot of disturbing humor where you need to know tween/teen lingo and a lot of stuff that looks innocent and is very hurtful. Your child is part of the problem if she/he is a follower. You stay out of it when your child is an adult and has to deal with the consequences even if if law enforcement gets involved. Now you are shaping a person into a decent human and part of that is monitoring that and teaching your child why bystanders are part of the problem. You need to teach your child about good character, kindness and morality because if your kid thinks cyberbulling is OK as long as he/she only reads it for entertainment, then you have failed.

[Anonymous]

If your child "follows" these accounts, think of it as a child standing there and watching another child get harassed and doing nothing. The bully would say "OMG, we are just joking, We are just having funny. We don't think of Larlo as the class nerd. We think he's a cool dude, that's why we "shipped" him with "Marla. It's not our fault she flipped out and was grossed out." "OMG we were totally joking saying Suzie gives blowjobs to Bobby. NBD! "

Bystanders are part of the problem. If a family takes legal action over cyber-bulling and harassment, do you really want the lawyers to see you child's name on the "follow" list?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why mine dont do instragrams, the facebook, or twitter. I am the parent, I pay the bills, I allow or disallow the Apps.

I've hammered it over and over. People just eventually get themselves in trouble on social media. Its a sure thing, eventually. Aint worth it.

Also, you cant be cyberbullied if nobody can cyber contact you. Think about that. Also you cant inadvertently anger someone.

I dont use this stuff, and dont allow my kids to. When they get to be 18 and pay the bills, they can I guess. But maybe by then I will have been vindicated and they will stay clear.

Of course you can be cyberbullied even if you aren't on social media. If everyone in school is posting mean stuff about your kid on Instagram and talking about it in school, do you think your kid won't know or suffer??? That's just a stupid thing to tell your kids because they know its not true.

New pp. Pretty sure what this poster meant is that the kids not on social media avoid cyber bullying - meaning the ability of kids to bully you as you sit in your own home. Being bullied sucks, but what is truly awful is realizing for kids on social media there is no safe space. They are not even safe from bullying at home. Kids not on social media have a safe space.