How to deal with the ex-wife?

[Anonymous]

He’s keeping you a secret because he’s still hoping to get back together with her. I’m sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is dumb to stay with this man. Really stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am this ex-wife. I have since remarried and have kids. Divorced 5 years, and no kids with ex. We still hang out and are friends, not all the time but maybe 3x/year. He's a good person and knows me and my family.

I don’t think this is the same - you don’t keep your family secret and, presumably, if he has moved on her doesn’t keep that secret. I wouldn’t be okay with my husband hanging out with friends - male or female - from whom he kept me secret.

My ex doesn't tell me about his GFs, honestly too many tossing cast of characters to keep track of. Wake me up when your meet someone special. I have no idea if he yells them about me. But there are tons of pictures of us around his place, just like any gets who took epic vacations together
Maybe the boyfriend just needs to lie better

[Anonymous]

NP. I suspect that OP's boyfriend is still married, not actually divorced, perhaps separated, and hoping to reconcile. OP, you may be a backup plan. I would withdraw myself from this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I suspect that OP's boyfriend is still married, not actually divorced, perhaps separated, and hoping to reconcile. OP, you may be a backup plan. I would withdraw myself from this situation.

I asked him straight up about this. He said he does not want to reconcile with her in any capacity, but he still cares about her as they spent a decade of note together as the closest friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am this ex-wife. I have since remarried and have kids. Divorced 5 years, and no kids with ex. We still hang out and are friends, not all the time but maybe 3x/year. He's a good person and knows me and my family.

3x/year is totally fine and normal. This guy is functioning as though he’s still a unit with his ex.

[Anonymous]

OP here:

How do I rectify this situation? I would like him to tell her about me, and I’d like to discuss the frequency of their interactions. He is very socially awkward, and I don’t think he’s doing this maliciously, but I do want to talk to him about it and have it stop. Any advice? I feel uncomfortable demanding he tell her about me. It feels very high school.

[Anonymous]

LOL, nope.

[Anonymous]

My ex-wife and I have the model coparenting relationship. We split everything 50/50, we have deep conversations about parenting strategy, and we genuinely enjoy each other's company. With that said, if my daughter didn't exist I wouldn't talk to her outside of sending her a "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Birthday" text.

They sound like they're dating.

[Anonymous]

I couldn’t date him.

[Anonymous]

I'm the least jealous person ever, and this would not be okay with me. I have an ex-husband. I have never gone to the movies with him since we separated. I've never had a meal with him since then, unless our kids invited him. When we need to meet to discuss our kids, it's for coffee if anything. The only pics he's in that are in my house are of him WITH our kids.

[Anonymous]

Threesome.

[Anonymous]

I'd question if it's really his ex-wife or if it's another girlfriend. This isn't normal.