How to deal with the ex-wife?

[Anonymous]

You’re smarter than this, OP.

[Anonymous]

I'd be very concerned about this. In theory it is possible that they are just pals and it will stay platonic.

But chances are, one of them is still interested in the other. Don't accept as true his explanation of why they split or who initiated it. If they continue to stay in touch and do things together, it's probably a matter of time until they go back to each other, even if it's a bad idea or temporary.

[Anonymous]

I once fell for something like this. Three years in I finally found out the truth. Be had been texting and calling that woman since our first date and I truly thought she was his best friend. I had never met her. Turns out he was seeing both of us at the same time. She knew all about me, I knew nothing about her. She had been there from day one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re smarter than this, OP.

+100 did you really need to ask, OP? Have some self-respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have they been divorced? Why did they divorce? Are they in daily contact? 3x a week?

Almost 2 years. They split up because they felt like they were better friends than spouses. And I'm not sure of how frequently they're in contact. I try not to pry when he's texting someone, but I would assume it it's not daily, it's every other day.

They are friends they split up for gosh sakes. Let them be friends or move on and let him find another suitable mate if you can’t handle their friendship.

Yeah I think it's fine. Lucky for them to figure out they make good friends and not lovers! Lucky for you that your partner has a good friend. Don't be threatened. Seriously, it's just insecurity and our society that's making you wonder. It sounds like a friendship, treat it like that.

[Anonymous]

Pretend she is a guy and imagine him doing everything they do together like he's doing it with his guy friend. If you are fine with it, then it is nothing wrong. If you wouldn't be cool with it when it's a guy, then something more is going on.

[Anonymous]

I am this ex-wife. I have since remarried and have kids. Divorced 5 years, and no kids with ex. We still hang out and are friends, not all the time but maybe 3x/year. He's a good person and knows me and my family.

[Anonymous]

three way is the best way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have they been divorced? Why did they divorce? Are they in daily contact? 3x a week?

Almost 2 years. They split up because they felt like they were better friends than spouses. And I'm not sure of how frequently they're in contact. I try not to pry when he's texting someone, but I would assume it it's not daily, it's every other day.

They are friends they split up for gosh sakes. Let them be friends or move on and let him find another suitable mate if you can’t handle their friendship.

And you should make friends with the ex wife too!

I wish I could! He won't tell her about me. He says she's not entitled to know everything about his life.

OMG, I got the exact same line from my GF about her ex and his friends. None of them knew about me because, it was none of their business. Guess what else they didn't know? They didn't know she broke up with him. He didn't even know that because it never really happened.

You should NOT be a secret to anyone, especially her. If he can't introduce you to her, as his GF, then something is very wrong and you need to end this. Trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have they been divorced? Why did they divorce? Are they in daily contact? 3x a week?

Almost 2 years. They split up because they felt like they were better friends than spouses. And I'm not sure of how frequently they're in contact. I try not to pry when he's texting someone, but I would assume it it's not daily, it's every other day.

They are friends they split up for gosh sakes. Let them be friends or move on and let him find another suitable mate if you can’t handle their friendship.

I said I was generally fine with it! It's just new for me, so I was asking for others' perspectives. I'm not in any way saying they can't be friends. Calm down.

You are RIGHT to be concerned. Don't be surprised when they get back together again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am this ex-wife. I have since remarried and have kids. Divorced 5 years, and no kids with ex. We still hang out and are friends, not all the time but maybe 3x/year. He's a good person and knows me and my family.

I don’t think this is the same - you don’t keep your family secret and, presumably, if he has moved on her doesn’t keep that secret. I wouldn’t be okay with my husband hanging out with friends - male or female - from whom he kept me secret.

[Anonymous]

The issue is not their relationship, the issue is that he won’t tell Her about you. He is lying OP. He is still trying to make things work with her while keeping you as a back up. If they are really friends, he should tell her about you and not keep you as his dirty little secret.

I got involved with a man from work who never spent the night at my place and that would not take me to his place. After a couple Of weeks I wanted more explanation and he told Me that he still lived with his ex girlfriend and that she was still sad about their relationship ending and was moving out soon. I broke things off because it was too complicated and weird. A few months later I found out that he was engaged and that his fiancé was pregnant while we were seeing each other.... when things seem weird, 99% of the time there is someone else. Leave

[Anonymous]

I think the your boyfriend and his ex still have affection for each other, and he’s worried that she’d be upset/hurt if she knew about OP.

[Anonymous]

OP is dumb to stay with this man. Really stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If kids were in the picture, yes. Without kids in the picture, nope!

Same.