How to deal with the ex-wife?

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he's divorced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he's divorced?

They definitely don't live together, and I've had several mutual friends comment about their split.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, so what about their “split.” Are the divorce docs signed at filed at the courthouse or are they still legally married?

[Anonymous]

Yes I think this is odd. I do know some divorced couples who genuinely are friends, as they really cared about each other but didnt work as a romantic couple. None of them kept the fact that they were dating someone else from the other, or avoided having their new partners participate as part of a group when they did get together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have they been divorced? Why did they divorce? Are they in daily contact? 3x a week?

Almost 2 years. They split up because they felt like they were better friends than spouses. And I'm not sure of how frequently they're in contact. I try not to pry when he's texting someone, but I would assume it it's not daily, it's every other day.

They are friends they split up for gosh sakes. Let them be friends or move on and let him find another suitable mate if you can’t handle their friendship.

And you should make friends with the ex wife too!

I wish I could! He won't tell her about me. He says she's not entitled to know everything about his life.

Well, that part is weird. I would be fine with their friendship, since it pre-dated me and they broke up because their connection wasn’t romantic. It would only bother me if their connection was a barrier to our own relationship and intimacy in tangible ways. BUT why won’t he tell her about you? He talks to her frequently but won’t share this significant part of his life? That seems weighted somehow and would send a little bit of a red flag up.

[Anonymous]

^^ maybe more than a little, actually.

[Anonymous]

She’s not his ex wife.

You’re his affair partner.

[Anonymous]

Reminds me of me and my ex, although we do have a DD. I married him when I wasn't in a good place emotionally, fully cognizant that I was settling for a comfortable friend marriage than a loving romantic one. This led us to a bad place that had gotten better siunce separating, since we could spend time together without any expectation or pressure from the other romantically. Once we weren't obligated to be together, we were able to enjoy spending time together again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he's divorced?

They definitely don't live together, and I've had several mutual friends comment about their split.

They may be separated but not divorced. I usually HATE when people say not to date separated people, because legal requirements can require certain time frames even when both parties are ready to move on. But this is very weird that he hasn't told her about you. If they are truly just friends, he wouldn't be keeping you a secret. This is the thing to be concerned about, not that they are friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have they been divorced? Why did they divorce? Are they in daily contact? 3x a week?

Almost 2 years. They split up because they felt like they were better friends than spouses. And I'm not sure of how frequently they're in contact. I try not to pry when he's texting someone, but I would assume it it's not daily, it's every other day.

They are friends they split up for gosh sakes. Let them be friends or move on and let him find another suitable mate if you can’t handle their friendship.

And you should make friends with the ex wife too!

I wish I could! He won't tell her about me. He says she's not entitled to know everything about his life.

Yea, that’s not a good sign. You are his side piece.

+1

That's a red flag. If they're truly just friends then you should all be able to hang out together. Keeping you separate is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s not his ex wife.

You’re his affair partner.

Yup. You are the interim hole for his pole. The ex is not putting out and he wants her to. He is probably still hoping it will all work out in the end because there is no reason for him to continue seeing her otherwise. You are his side piece so that his sexual needs are taken care of.

[Anonymous]

guy here - very, very,very weird and not okay in the least.

if the roles were reversed I would say exact same thing - run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have they been divorced? Why did they divorce? Are they in daily contact? 3x a week?

Almost 2 years. They split up because they felt like they were better friends than spouses. And I'm not sure of how frequently they're in contact. I try not to pry when he's texting someone, but I would assume it it's not daily, it's every other day.

They are friends they split up for gosh sakes. Let them be friends or move on and let him find another suitable mate if you can’t handle their friendship.

LOL, um nope.

This is a failed relationship that seemingly has no boundaries and eventually, his "ex" will know all about his as long as they keep up the frequent "hanging out". I know he says he won't reveal you to her but it's only a matter of time as things progress with you and him. Honestly, I would stay away b/c you're not just dating him, you're dating him and his ex, in reality.

[Anonymous]

Run away from this situation.

[Anonymous]

Does he have photos of his other "friends" hanging up in his house too? And does he do dinner and movies or whatever with them one-on-one as well?

I'm guessing the answer is no.

And honestly even if the answer is yes, my answer would be no.