Best friends, sex is great, not "in love" = divorce?

[Anonymous]

OP's sister is a spoiled, narcissistic b---h. She clearly has an AP target in mind who will bone her and soon tell her "love?, this is just about sex!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She may be having a mid-life crisis.

Was he her first love?
Perhaps she wants to experience that “giddy, schoolgirl...Butterflies in the stomach feeling” that usually happens when a romance is brand-new.

But considering there are two young children in the equation, her life isn’t all about her and only her.

Plus what if the other side consists of nothing but weeds + dead grass......??!
She would have broken up an entire family already.

This. Absent weed-killers (addiction, abuse, infidelity, lack of connection/respect/friendship, lack of sex) the grass is greenest where you water it. She needs to put as much time and energy into making her current life/marriage more exciting as she is into fantasizing about leaving it.

[Anonymous]

My husband is my BF and we have good sex about once a week. ZERO CHANCE I WOULD EVER LEAVE HIM!!
What more could you want? Esp if you have small kids!

But maybe I appreciate him b.c my ex was a cheater who abused me mentally and physically.

Tell her to get an exciting hobby like horseback riding. And then to grow the F up.

[Anonymous]

After years of Marrage I just tollerate my wife.

The sex is blah.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, she has an AP.

[Anonymous]

If she leaves him in 6 years she’ll be posting about how she is jealous of his new wife.

[Anonymous]

Thing is, she may catch and find limerence again, but after a few years she'll be stuck feeling the same way. It's a tradeoff. I miss the sparks too, but I've built a nice life and have a vivid imagination for fantasy that fills the hole limerence once filled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s stupid and short sighted. Newness wears off any relationship. Romantic or new friend ones. What remains the the close bond and trust and some physical attraction since the person knows you like no one else. I’ve been married 6 years with one toddler. I’m not “in love” with my husband in ge butterfly sense. But I love him deeply, we have satisfying sex, sometimes exciting, we trust eatchotber and he’s the person that I want to tell everything to and want in my space next to me for everything. And when the toddler is with grandma we get a chance to reignite a little bit it’s based on how we know we felt when it was super new and unknown.

What if you want all that PLUS the giddy, butterflies, I can't keep my hands off you feeling?

Is that realistic for any long term couple?

With young kids?

[Anonymous]

Her kids will hate her for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After years of Marrage I just tollerate my wife.

The sex is blah.

She has to tolerate your stupidity. Poor thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's interested in someone else.

Yup, she's having an affair.

OP here. I don't think this is actively having an affair (I did ask and she said no) but she may have someone in mind. When we were growing up, she was the girl who always had another boyfriend waiting in the wings before she dumped the first one.

I just can't get over the fact that she thinks her marriage is something to be trashed. From the outside, it looks great and from what she says, it is great. Maybe they don't have sex as often as she'd like but I personally don't feel that is something to divorce over. Shrug.

I agree with the other posters that she has her eye on someone else. The thing about having a wandering/eye cheating is that is it has more to do with her personally than your BIL or what you value on a marriage. She is unhappy about some aspect of her life and thinks a different guy will solve her problems. There is nothing you can say to stop her if her mind is made up. You could ask if counseling would help or if you have the kids over and she goes on a date night to help relight the “spark” helps but chances are in her mind she has moved on. The good news for BIL is he is nice, good looking and was a decent husband and dad, he should have no issues moving on to a new relationship. The odds are really in his favor.

[Anonymous]

For a while my husband and I were having issues. Too much to get into but not a lot of fighting per se, and we still had sex, but I felt like I was his buddy and that he had friend zoned me. Now things are better and I've been feeling those butterflies again. Friend zone is not where I want to spend my life. I can sort of understand your sister.

[Anonymous]

She's seen too many love movies.