Intimacy Doldrums - Advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said Oil massages are your preference, what does your wife like? Do you know? Fwiw, it’s not always physical. what works best for me is when my husband packs lunch and unloads the dishwasher on the nights he’s home

OP here. Yes she enjoys them - they started while she was pregnant. I oiled her belly, chest, etc - it was our nightly "ritual". It was something we both enjoyed. That evolved into massages because she was encountering PP lower back pains. Those are now gone, thankfully, and massages have evolved into simply giving her something that feels good.

As for dishwasher, etc., I already do all that, including doing all the cooking (I clean as well). And you're right, for some women it's those things that matter and while my DW certainly is appreciative of me doing those things, it's not necessarily something that gets her in the mood.

Choreplay very rarely gets women in the mood. If the dude is a slob or completely AWOL on the homefront, it can snuff out an otherwise healthy libido. But, given a reasonable level of effort at home by the DH and a DW with a reasonably healthy libido, choreplay isn't going to do much for a couple's sex life.

[Anonymous]

We have a cleaning lady so our house work is minimal (just daily tidying up), but what I really appreciate is when my DH spends time with our kids without his phone. This happens rarely, but when he does, it kind of turns me on... maybe I am weird. I should make this more clear to him