his fantasy, what to do?

[Anonymous]

Why are you living with someone at such a young age? Where are your parents? School?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could people that laugh at me please stop ? What's wrong with you? You take pleasure knowing people feel bad? If you don't have empathy please ignore me.

We're not laughing at you. We're telling you that your self image is corrosive, not your boyfriends fault, and your responsibility to address. He loves you and finds you attractive and communicates his needs and desires and feelings with you. He's hitting it out of the park. You are convinced he is lying and calling you fat when he tells you he thinks you look sexy in a dress and stockings.

Seriously, you need to get help, it's not funny its sad. If you grow up to have daughters you will pass on this disordered body image. Even if you ARE fat you need to find out how to love yourself, but from your posts I'm not even convinced you are actually fat. Seriously, don't keep dating this guy or start dating any guy or god forbid have a kid until you figure out how to have a little respect for yourself. You are very lucky you didn't fall in with an abusive guy...they look for people like you, so down on themselves they can't see their own worth.

You matter, you are a person who is worthy of love and affection and sexual attraction. You NEED to find a way to believe that or you will never have a healthy relationship with anyone, let alone this guy.

+1

Such wise words and such a generous person to share them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your BF sees you as a sex object. I don't object to occasionally indulging a fantasy but wanting to change your entire wardrobe? No.

FFS he doesn’t actually want to throw out her entire wardrobe. Have people here truly never described a fantasy scenario to their mate? For clarity, when someone says they want to rip your clothes off they don’t literally mean destroy them. Neither is anyone going to make love to you “all night until the sun comes up” Same thing here.

[Anonymous]

Np. If I was told a fantasy about dresses and no underwear, I would try to play along, as it's pretty tame, and if he has some fun with it, why not? But I am a practical person - does someone really want to hold my dirty underwear that I've handed them at the dinner table? What kind of dress do I wear that would guarantee that I don't leak through the dress from a little discharge, especially if this is some extra sexy date with expectations? I don't get the logistics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np. If I was told a fantasy about dresses and no underwear, I would try to play along, as it's pretty tame, and if he has some fun with it, why not? But I am a practical person - does someone really want to hold my dirty underwear that I've handed them at the dinner table? What kind of dress do I wear that would guarantee that I don't leak through the dress from a little discharge, especially if this is some extra sexy date with expectations? I don't get the logistics.

You’re overthinking it. You get dressed for a nice dinner. Panties come off at the restaurant. They’ve been on for a few hours at most. Does yours get “ dirty” that quickly? If so, might be a good time for a visit to the doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np. If I was told a fantasy about dresses and no underwear, I would try to play along, as it's pretty tame, and if he has some fun with it, why not? But I am a practical person - does someone really want to hold my dirty underwear that I've handed them at the dinner table? What kind of dress do I wear that would guarantee that I don't leak through the dress from a little discharge, especially if this is some extra sexy date with expectations? I don't get the logistics.

You pick a day when you’re not having much discharge (anytime after your cycle is done and before you are ovulating should work). You take the panties off right before dessert if you are worried about going too long without them. He stuffs the panties in his pocket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish this was all my husband wanted. He wants to share me with other men. I would take your scenario any day over this.

Why? I’d be thrilled if my DH proposed sharing me. He’s joked about it but I wish he’d follow through. At age 41, I am so hungry for other guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he thinks you look really great in skirts and dresses and wishes you wore them more often.

No no

He is not allowed to like your body. It is your body.

Read about all the married DCUM women. They hate sex also. They have been treated like a sexual object and they hate it. Join the club. Never ever let him enjoy your body . You are not a piece of meat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he thinks you look really great in skirts and dresses and wishes you wore them more often.

No no

He is not allowed to like your body. It is your body.

Read about all the married DCUM women. They hate sex also. They have been treated like a sexual object and they hate it. Join the club. Never ever let him enjoy your body . You are not a piece of meat.

Yes! You go gurrrl. And start adopting cats. Lots of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he thinks you look really great in skirts and dresses and wishes you wore them more often.

No no

He is not allowed to like your body. It is your body.

Read about all the married DCUM women. They hate sex also. They have been treated like a sexual object and they hate it. Join the club. Never ever let him enjoy your body . You are not a piece of meat.

Yes! You go gurrrl. And start adopting cats. Lots of them.

Cats are too needy. Pet rock is the way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he thinks you look really great in skirts and dresses and wishes you wore them more often.

No no

He is not allowed to like your body. It is your body.

Read about all the married DCUM women. They hate sex also. They have been treated like a sexual object and they hate it. Join the club. Never ever let him enjoy your body . You are not a piece of meat.

Yes! You go gurrrl. And start adopting cats. Lots of them.

Pretty sure cats aren't going to respect her as a person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np. If I was told a fantasy about dresses and no underwear, I would try to play along, as it's pretty tame, and if he has some fun with it, why not? But I am a practical person - does someone really want to hold my dirty underwear that I've handed them at the dinner table? What kind of dress do I wear that would guarantee that I don't leak through the dress from a little discharge, especially if this is some extra sexy date with expectations? I don't get the logistics.

What happened to you that you are so afraid of your own vagina?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the love of god, please (kindly) end this relationship! Your boyfriend sounds highly sexual and you sound pretty meh about sex. You are incompatible, and will make each other very unhappy. Please move on so each of you can find a compatible partner.

Edit to add: DO NOT MARRY AND DO NOT GET PREGNANT!!!!

He doesn’t even sound”highly sexual”. This is really a very vanilla preference that most adult women would indulge at least occasionally without any thought. Agreed that they each need a more compatible partner. OP should consider counseling for her body issues. She definitely should not raise a daughter until she gets healthy.

[Anonymous]

Op, I suffered from really bad self esteem, I still struggle at times now. I've ruined many relationships because of it and when I met DH I realized I had to fix myself if I was wanted it to work.

From what you posted

1. Your BF sounds like a nice guy. Was patient with you regarding your time line for sex and didn't pressure you
2. Compliments you and has never mentioned your weight
3. Told you about a mild fantasy he has that doesn't even include sexual acts
4. Realized you were uncomfortable about it and never brought it up again.

My suggestions for you

1. Get therapy. Your self esteem issues WILL ruin your relationship ship. It iust does
2. Sit down with him and be honest about your confidence issues.
3. Start small. When he gets home from work one day, have dinner at home wearing a knee length dress with no stockings. Then bump it up to sexy under wear and text him a picture of it before you put it on with a silly little caption. Then next time skip the underwear and text him that . Then graduate to taking your underwear off during dinner. Do all this at home, just the two of you. Then maybe take that knee length skirt on a date. By then you will be feeling more comfortable. Build up to shorter skirt with stockings. I bet your bf will love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your BF sees you as a sex object. I don't object to occasionally indulging a fantasy but wanting to change your entire wardrobe? No.

It's a fantasy. Women fantasize about being taken forcefully as well. Doesn't mean they actually want that in real life. FAN-TA-SY. He doesn't actually want her to toss all her clothes and wear only dresses without underwear (that is not practical).

I hope he sees her as a sex object. And a competent person. And an interesting dinner date. And fun friend. All these things and more.