his fantasy, what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really mild. You should do it for him one night, wear a dress out for dinner with no underwear underneath.

That's mild for one night, but he wants to throw away her wardrobe and have her always wear stockings. That's creepy and controlling and pretty stereotypical of those creep bdsm dominating types from the films and books. Sleeping with the enemy much?

He was talking about a fantasy. And the end result is, 'wear skirts and dresses and sometimes maybe no underwear'.

OP this is about as vanilla a fantasy as there is. It basically just means he finds you sexy and wants to have sex with you. That is it.

The fact that you are so uncomfortable with the fact that your boyfriend thinks you are attractive and wants to have sex with you says to me that PPs are right, you need to get into therapy because your insecurity will poison the relationship. If you constantly accuse him of lying when he says you are attractive then you are saying he lies to you all the time. How would you feel if everytime you said you loved him he told you you were lying? It is really corrosive and disrespectful to the other person. This problem is on your shoulders to fix. If "I like how you look in dresses and find your va**na appealing" is over the line then we will stop reproducing as a species soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really mild. You should do it for him one night, wear a dress out for dinner with no underwear underneath.

That's mild for one night, but he wants to throw away her wardrobe and have her always wear stockings. That's creepy and controlling and pretty stereotypical of those creep bdsm dominating types from the films and books. Sleeping with the enemy much?

He was talking about a fantasy. And the end result is, 'wear skirts and dresses and sometimes maybe no underwear'.

OP this is about as vanilla a fantasy as there is. It basically just means he finds you sexy and wants to have sex with you. That is it.

The fact that you are so uncomfortable with the fact that your boyfriend thinks you are attractive and wants to have sex with you says to me that PPs are right, you need to get into therapy because your insecurity will poison the relationship. If you constantly accuse him of lying when he says you are attractive then you are saying he lies to you all the time. How would you feel if everytime you said you loved him he told you you were lying? It is really corrosive and disrespectful to the other person. This problem is on your shoulders to fix. If "I like how you look in dresses and find your va**na appealing" is over the line then we will stop reproducing as a species soon.

+100

[Anonymous]

this is seriously a very very tame and PG fantasy. Just try it. For him. if you hate it, and he is a good guy, he wot ask you again. you need a lot more experience. he will be so bored if you are married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really mild. You should do it for him one night, wear a dress out for dinner with no underwear underneath.

That's mild for one night, but he wants to throw away her wardrobe and have her always wear stockings. That's creepy and controlling and pretty stereotypical of those creep bdsm dominating types from the films and books. Sleeping with the enemy much?

I think that is the fantasy and ITL, he’d be happy if she just wore skirts and stockings occasionally. I’m a woman BTW. OP, why not agree to pretend to throw the pants out. Have a little scene with trash bags and modeling the new stockings.

How did people lose the art of role play? Sex is supposed to be fun. FYI: People who are really into BDSM negotiate scenes. It’s not random.

[Anonymous]

I don't really have issues with the top of my body but I hate what is below. I have tried stockings once, it made me cry to see my legs look like sausages.

I don't know how I would react with a nice body, I can't know this, all I know is I have to do with this body and it can't offer him what he said. He never told me I should lose weight but I can't help thinking this is related to what he says, maybe unconsciously.

[Anonymous]

For the love of god, please (kindly) end this relationship! Your boyfriend sounds highly sexual and you sound pretty meh about sex. You are incompatible, and will make each other very unhappy. Please move on so each of you can find a compatible partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the love of god, please (kindly) end this relationship! Your boyfriend sounds highly sexual and you sound pretty meh about sex. You are incompatible, and will make each other very unhappy. Please move on so each of you can find a compatible partner.

Edit to add: DO NOT MARRY AND DO NOT GET PREGNANT!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a pretty mild fantasy. I’m not naturally girly at all, but about 10 years ago, I had a Dom that redid my non-work wardrobe.

I thought it was going to be something really kinky.

[Anonymous]

Such a mild fantasy, as PP said. It’s part of normal and healthy sexuality. It sounds like he loves you very much and is very respectful and kind. Please don’t react as if he is twisted or unhealthy, that would be terribly unfair.

My fantasies are way more intense, and I’m a garden-variety middle aged, suburban, station-wagon driving mom who is married to a straight-laced accountant.

[Anonymous]

Could people that laugh at me please stop ? What's wrong with you? You take pleasure knowing people feel bad? If you don't have empathy please ignore me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really mild. You should do it for him one night, wear a dress out for dinner with no underwear underneath.

That's mild for one night, but he wants to throw away her wardrobe and have her always wear stockings. That's creepy and controlling and pretty stereotypical of those creep bdsm dominating types from the films and books. Sleeping with the enemy much?

He was talking about a fantasy. And the end result is, 'wear skirts and dresses and sometimes maybe no underwear'.

OP this is about as vanilla a fantasy as there is. It basically just means he finds you sexy and wants to have sex with you. That is it.

The fact that you are so uncomfortable with the fact that your boyfriend thinks you are attractive and wants to have sex with you says to me that PPs are right, you need to get into therapy because your insecurity will poison the relationship. If you constantly accuse him of lying when he says you are attractive then you are saying he lies to you all the time. How would you feel if everytime you said you loved him he told you you were lying? It is really corrosive and disrespectful to the other person. This problem is on your shoulders to fix. If "I like how you look in dresses and find your va**na appealing" is over the line then we will stop reproducing as a species soon.

+100

Man here whose wife has done this in the past resulting in a great time for both. OP, the problem is with you and your image of yourself. I don’t want to scare you, but if I were the bf, I would move along if all of my requests were rejected. I would never ask you to do something you weren’t comfortable with, but I also don’t have to stick around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the love of god, please (kindly) end this relationship! Your boyfriend sounds highly sexual and you sound pretty meh about sex. You are incompatible, and will make each other very unhappy. Please move on so each of you can find a compatible partner.

This relationship sounds troubled but he is hardly highly sexual based on her description and she sounds a lot worse than meh about sex.

The thing is for almost all honest heterosexual relationships to work there needs to be some version of a healthy sex life so even if this is a bad relationship if OP wants to be in a relationship she is going to have to tackle and manage this problem so if she otherwise does like this person why not try to start working on this problem now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could people that laugh at me please stop ? What's wrong with you? You take pleasure knowing people feel bad? If you don't have empathy please ignore me.

me no laugh, me offering sound advice. you not self aware and people trying to help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could people that laugh at me please stop ? What's wrong with you? You take pleasure knowing people feel bad? If you don't have empathy please ignore me.

We're not laughing at you. We're telling you that your self image is corrosive, not your boyfriends fault, and your responsibility to address. He loves you and finds you attractive and communicates his needs and desires and feelings with you. He's hitting it out of the park. You are convinced he is lying and calling you fat when he tells you he thinks you look sexy in a dress and stockings.

Seriously, you need to get help, it's not funny its sad. If you grow up to have daughters you will pass on this disordered body image. Even if you ARE fat you need to find out how to love yourself, but from your posts I'm not even convinced you are actually fat. Seriously, don't keep dating this guy or start dating any guy or god forbid have a kid until you figure out how to have a little respect for yourself. You are very lucky you didn't fall in with an abusive guy...they look for people like you, so down on themselves they can't see their own worth.

You matter, you are a person who is worthy of love and affection and sexual attraction. You NEED to find a way to believe that or you will never have a healthy relationship with anyone, let alone this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the love of god, please (kindly) end this relationship! Your boyfriend sounds highly sexual and you sound pretty meh about sex. You are incompatible, and will make each other very unhappy. Please move on so each of you can find a compatible partner.

I'm not sure where you get that the BF is highly sexual, or that they are incompatible and need to break up. I think OP can break out and be her best sexual self if she wants to.