his fantasy, what to do?

[Anonymous]

Hello people,

I am 22, in a relationship for 3 years with my first BF and we live together. I am not comfortable with sexuality, I dont know really why since I did not live something special before, and I was somewhat scared that this will damage soon or late our relationship, until what happened recently.

Several days ago, my BF told me about a fantasy that made me very ill at ease. He said that in his dream world, he would redo my wardrobe, throw everything but my dresses and skirts - I have a few of them that I use quite rarely -, burn all pantyhoses that he hates and replace them with stockings, and ask me sometimes to wear no panties. I asked him if he was serious and he answered no with a strange smile so now I am convinced he would love this.

I feel really confused since I love him and when I read about other men's fantasies, many things seem to me more disgusting so maybe some people may think what's the deal with this, but I can't imagine myself being like he said even for a second. Since then, we do not have spoken about it again and I have used only pants as I currently do. I really don't know what to think or do and I feel bad. If you had any advice to help me it would be great, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Quick take: dump him and get more dating experience. Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

he thinks you look really great in skirts and dresses and wishes you wore them more often.

[Anonymous]

Do you wear a lot of sweatpants and yoga pants or something?

[Anonymous]

This is a pretty mild fantasy. I’m not naturally girly at all, but about 10 years ago, I had a Dom that redid my non-work wardrobe.

[Anonymous]

This is really mild. You should do it for him one night, wear a dress out for dinner with no underwear underneath.

[Anonymous]

Seek therapy. There is a reason you are so uncomfortable with your sexuality, and the sooner you get to the root of it and deal with it the better off you, and any future partner of yours, will be.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your replies.

I'm not girly and I don't really like my body. I find myself quite fat especially my thighs even if my BF strongly disagrees with me. For some special events, I can make efforts and he tells me then very nice words - that I don't really believe. I wear almost each day things I feel comfortable, mostly pants.

He told me all this as if it was a joke but I'm sure this is what would turn him on. I let him wait a long time before starting a sexual life and he was very patient with me. He told me several time that he would appreciate a little more of sex but he loves me and this is the most important thing.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry OP, he'll find someone who is into it. I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really mild. You should do it for him one night, wear a dress out for dinner with no underwear underneath.

For an added twist, wear the panties but when you're seated at dinner, excuse yourself to the ladies room then when you return, hand your panties to him under the table and watch his jaw drop.

[Anonymous]

For now I would like to know how to talk again about it but I don't dare and I am afraid of this upcoming discussion.

[Anonymous]

You’re not compatible. Stop wasting your time and end it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seek therapy. There is a reason you are so uncomfortable with your sexuality, and the sooner you get to the root of it and deal with it the better off you, and any future partner of yours, will be.

I kinda agree with this. He loves you and thinks you are beautiful. And you are still very young. Being sexual at 22 is not extraordinarily late. You need some practice at loving yourself and appreciating all the wonderful things about yourself. Have you heard of a "gratitude journal"? It might be a good thing for you to try out, to help you change your mindset. Also try reading some Wayne Dyer. For some reason I think his books might help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really mild. You should do it for him one night, wear a dress out for dinner with no underwear underneath.

For an added twist, wear the panties but when you're seated at dinner, excuse yourself to the ladies room then when you return, hand your panties to him under the table and watch his jaw drop.

+1

I’m a woman and it really works. He’ll probably immediately ask for the check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really mild. You should do it for him one night, wear a dress out for dinner with no underwear underneath.

That's mild for one night, but he wants to throw away her wardrobe and have her always wear stockings. That's creepy and controlling and pretty stereotypical of those creep bdsm dominating types from the films and books. Sleeping with the enemy much?