Walk me through the logistics of setting up your new life if you divorced while your kid was a baby.

[Anonymous]

I think you are smart to start thinking about preparing, especially if you're relatively certain that it's going to go this way. If you really don't think you can do it on your own, then maybe wait and try to get your ducks in a row a bit so it's not too difficult for you.

My exDH left me for AP when DD was about a year old. He didn't take too much and subsidized a lot of the housing costs so we were able to stay until I could buy him out about a year later. Because of our situation I was able to negotiate pretty favorable separation terms but it was very hard to play nice during this time when I knew he was with AP all along. I did what I had to do to make things better for DD. In retrospect, I actually don't recall difficulty with getting ready for work, but I had worked FT and she was in daycare so just adapted to doing that solo.

Just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there. I'm not saying that divorce isn't hard for a kid of any age, but if it's going to happen I think it's best when they are young, and at the end of the day it's better to have two parents who are happy apart then a toxic home situation. That is my opinion as a child of divorced parents as well, but I know others may disagree.

I didn't start dating for a year but when I did found that there were some great men out there and I eventually met one that I wanted to marry and couldn't be happier now. I still lament that DD doesn't have her parents together sometimes but when I see how much she loves her stepdad I feel better knowing that I brought another wonderful person into her life who loves her. Plus, I really didn't have a choice in the matter with exDH ditching me, so I don't waste too much time on guilting myself. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say that I felt my marriage was hanging by a thread after the birth of both of my kids, and strongly considered divorcing my husband, seriously, until my youngest was about 4 1/2. If there is no strong reason to divorce - and the earlier posters give those examples - I would advise you to stick it out. My DH was never good with little kids. I got less stressed; the kids got tons easier; and he figured out how to be a better husband. I'm glad we're married, now.