White people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I try to never mispronounce ANYONE's name, regardless of race. I may think "Oh you poor thing" when I meet a black girl named Dy'mond Kulture but would never say anything to a child. If I were close friends with Dy'mond and she brought up her name, I might ask if she's ever thought of having it legally changed.

I work in HR and recruiting and don't judge based on name. I judge based on eye contact, fit of clothing (not brands, but are the pants sagging, are b**bs showing), mumbling, etc. THOSE are the things that tell me DeMarcus has eaten fast food for dinner and regularly had the electricity turned off and many "fathers" traipsed through his apartment.

So does that person have no chance? That seems heartless.

If we're interviewing six people for one position and one guy is wearing pants sagging so low that I see his underwear and he doesn't make eye contact and mumbles so much I have to ask him to repeat himself, but five other people don't do any of those things then yes, that ONE guy doesn't have a chance. We are trying to hire people who will be productive at work, and help the company and thrive here. If the guy can't take a few minutes to go to the free library and use free internet to google interview tips, then no, we're not hiring that person.

We have hired people saying "Part of the dress code is that pants must sit above the hip bones at all times. Are you comfortable complying with that?" And we've said to people, "You've expressed frustration that we haven't moved you out of the position you're in. But we can't have you interacting with people until you've demonstrated you have clear communication skills. That means looking people in the eye when you're talking with them, and speaking clearly."

This is not heartless. It's business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I try to never mispronounce ANYONE's name, regardless of race. I may think "Oh you poor thing" when I meet a black girl named Dy'mond Kulture but would never say anything to a child. If I were close friends with Dy'mond and she brought up her name, I might ask if she's ever thought of having it legally changed.

I work in HR and recruiting and don't judge based on name. I judge based on eye contact, fit of clothing (not brands, but are the pants sagging, are b**bs showing), mumbling, etc. THOSE are the things that tell me DeMarcus has eaten fast food for dinner and regularly had the electricity turned off and many "fathers" traipsed through his apartment.

And being raised in less than ideal circumstances makes DeMarcus a bad employee how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I try to never mispronounce ANYONE's name, regardless of race. I may think "Oh you poor thing" when I meet a black girl named Dy'mond Kulture but would never say anything to a child. If I were close friends with Dy'mond and she brought up her name, I might ask if she's ever thought of having it legally changed.

I work in HR and recruiting and don't judge based on name. I judge based on eye contact, fit of clothing (not brands, but are the pants sagging, are b**bs showing), mumbling, etc. THOSE are the things that tell me DeMarcus has eaten fast food for dinner and regularly had the electricity turned off and many "fathers" traipsed through his apartment.

So does that person have no chance? That seems heartless.

If we're interviewing six people for one position and one guy is wearing pants sagging so low that I see his underwear and he doesn't make eye contact and mumbles so much I have to ask him to repeat himself, but five other people don't do any of those things then yes, that ONE guy doesn't have a chance. We are trying to hire people who will be productive at work, and help the company and thrive here. If the guy can't take a few minutes to go to the free library and use free internet to google interview tips, then no, we're not hiring that person.

We have hired people saying "Part of the dress code is that pants must sit above the hip bones at all times. Are you comfortable complying with that?" And we've said to people, "You've expressed frustration that we haven't moved you out of the position you're in. But we can't have you interacting with people until you've demonstrated you have clear communication skills. That means looking people in the eye when you're talking with them, and speaking clearly."

This is not heartless. It's business.

It's one thing to base this on a person's presentation as an adult. But you felt the need to tie that behavior to a potential candidate's upbringing. That's the thing people are taking an issue with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I try to never mispronounce ANYONE's name, regardless of race. I may think "Oh you poor thing" when I meet a black girl named Dy'mond Kulture but would never say anything to a child. If I were close friends with Dy'mond and she brought up her name, I might ask if she's ever thought of having it legally changed.

I work in HR and recruiting and don't judge based on name. I judge based on eye contact, fit of clothing (not brands, but are the pants sagging, are b**bs showing), mumbling, etc. THOSE are the things that tell me DeMarcus has eaten fast food for dinner and regularly had the electricity turned off and many "fathers" traipsed through his apartment.

I grew up white UMC and have known many, many people who grew up rich yet still can't maintain eye contact, wear appropriate clothes, and mumble. Often it's even worse than among other people because their parents spoiled them rotten and/or didn't have the time to teach them how to behave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White person here. Yes, I look down on traditionally "ghetto" names such as Tyrone and Laquisha. However this is not unique to White people. Asians, Hispanics, Middle Easterners, middle class African Americans - they all look down on these names.

Don't ever speak on my behalf, speak for yourself only.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to name DS Luther (as in Vandross) because well, I loved him. DS is so exotic looking, Mediterranean, long dark wavy hair. He could have pulled it off. I had a backup name and it works. Off topic-took my then bf now DH to see Luther at MSG because he was fascinated by my adoration of LV. While waiting, we were the only “caucasians” but certainly ethnic enough. Some guy behind us said, hey the Barry Manilow concert is across the street! I started singing to the guy, “You got me goin’in circles”. Whole street busted out in song. Was fkin dope!

[Anonymous]

Read the story behind Austin Channing Brown's name. Her book I'm Still Here--Black Dignity in a World made for Whiteness is awesome.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you out there? Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you mispronounce and look down on black names?

What would you think of a black man named Mark versus a black man name DeMarcus?

Do you think Mark was raised by a college educated nuclear black family, or was he adopted? Did DeMarcus grow up in subsidized housing never knowing his father?

My name is Arabic, traditionally used in the black community. After my freshman year of college I went by the nickname Nicole and the change was obvious. I was still a black woman, but so there was a privilege in going by Nicole.

I had my children, and gave them top 100 Euro-centralist names, believing this was better for them.

My daughter has friend, a white child from an upper middle class family, named Karsynne. My son has a boy in his class named Wolff. I know so many white kids with names that are absolutely bizarre, completely made up and I want to kick myself for not naming my daughter Iesha. I thought I could erase a bit of their blackness, and it would help them navigate.

Seeing my Michael next to a blue eyed, blonde haired little boy named Maverick and I just have to laugh.

So, this is a little bit of a tangent but I think it's relevant. It's about how the person feels with their own name, not how others think of you. I'm a white woman who grew up with an Eastern European surname that is unheard of in the US and hard for the mainstream to wrap their heads around. When I was introduced or introducing myself, the reaction was always, "what?" and then an attempt to pronounce it (it's not hard to pronounce, just foreign to the ear). It made me feel shy and nervous to meet people.

Just before I became an adult, my mom divorced my dad and changed my name to her maiden name, which had been Americanized and is pretty simple/common. And works very well with my first name. It was easy to introduce myself and easy for people to remember my name and I found myself more confident.

Circling back to your thoughts, I do think that having the easy, non-weird name helped others see me in a more positive light as well.

So while race may play a part, I do think common-ness really helps. Or, rather, lack of weirdness in regards to the mainstream's experience of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read the OP and felt for sure this was a fake post.

Then, I see serious responses to it, and I say WTH!?

Maybe I missed it, but has OP responded to any of this?

I thought so too but it's an interesting topic so I figured why not!

[Anonymous]

Everyone judges. It is hard not too. And if you deny this you're lying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, titling a post "White People" is offensive.

Second, there is a ton of writing on this, which makes me think you're a troll. Here is just one article out of about a billion.

https://www.livescience.com/6569-good-bad-baby-names-long-lasting-effects.html

FWIW, I don't like the weird spellings of names either. To each their own. It's their kid.

+1 on the bolded part and all that follows.

JFC, she's wanting to know how white people see black names. Its a legit question. If you dont like political correctness, stop enforcing it.

Yep. Bunch of effing snowflakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Do you mispronounce and look down on black names? I never intentionally mispronounce anyone's name. I try not to look down on anyone's name either.

What would you think of a black man named Mark versus a black man name DeMarcus? Mark is more familiar to me so I may subconsciously assume that we have more in common.

Do you think Mark was raised by a college educated nuclear black family, or was he adopted? I was assume neither.

Did DeMarcus grow up in subsidized housing never knowing his father? I would not assume this.

My name is Arabic, traditionally used in the black community. After my freshman year of college I went by the nickname Nicole and the change was obvious. I was still a black woman, but so there was a privilege in going by Nicole. Studies have shown this to be true for a long time now.

I had my children, and gave them top 100 Euro-centralist names, believing this was better for them. Makes sense.

My daughter has friend, a white child from an upper middle class family, named Karsynne. My son has a boy in his class named Wolff. I know so many white kids with names that are absolutely bizarre, completely made up and I want to kick myself for not naming my daughter Iesha. I thought I could erase a bit of their blackness, and it would help them navigate.

Seeing my Michael next to a blue eyed, blonde haired little boy named Maverick and I just have to laugh. Congratulations? You sound judgmental and bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White person here. Yes, I look down on traditionally "ghetto" names such as Tyrone and Laquisha. However this is not unique to White people. Asians, Hispanics, Middle Easterners, middle class African Americans - they all look down on these names.

Definitely knew a white Tyrone. That's a longstanding name.

Tyrone Power

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White person here. Yes, I look down on traditionally "ghetto" names such as Tyrone and Laquisha. However this is not unique to White people. Asians, Hispanics, Middle Easterners, middle class African Americans - they all look down on these names.

Don't ever speak on my behalf, speak for yourself only.

Hey, she can speak for me. She's right.

PP, you need to work on not sounding so hostile