Another child says mean things to mine and parent does nothing?

[Anonymous]

Tell the kid he smells horrible and he's ruining everybody's meal. Then deny it if he tells his mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few things come to mind. First, this kid is getting that kind of language from somewhere and is "trying it out." He's not necessarily a "mean kid." Does he have older siblings? Is he in daycare with older kids? It's very possible that he's being made fun of for being the youngest all the time and is taking it out on someone else when he gets the chance. Knowing this might help you understand better and to treat the situation with some care so that you can help him feel better about himself while also stopping the language with your kid.

Second, almost no kids who are 4.5 are "excellent swimmers" without floaties, and your kid at 3.5 is way above the curve if he's even attempting to swim well without them. No way should you feel bad if the other kid is swimming well without them and yours isn't. And it's very possible that the kid won't mention it because so many others in this age range will be just like your kid, not like him.

Finally, it's fine to make the comments you've suggested. You don't have to hover and freak out about it, but it's also important to note that this is not appropriate behavior. What some of the PPs suggested sounds good to me. "Hey, that's not a nice way to talk! Why don't you show him how you do X so he can play with you?"

OP here. This child is in daycare, and has one sibling, who is 2 and not talking yet, so he's not picking up this language from them. He is very preoccupied with the fact that he's older and more skilled in many things than my son. I personally think it's quite obnoxious that the mom never corrects him. But I'm willing to give a playdate another chance--she has invited us to get together over 10 times in the last 1.5 years, and I've always declined, but I thought I'd give things another try because I like the mom. Also we can't get together just us moms because of her childcare situation (she works full-time and has no one to watch the child while she goes out due to financial issues).

And yes, this kid is an amazing swimmer--he can swim in the deep end without floaties by himself. His father used to be a professional swimmer so he taught him from a young age I guess.

So the last time you saw this mom she had a 3yo and a baby (1.5 years ago that 2yo sibling was an infant), and you think she’s a bad mom because her 3yo was acting like a 3yo? Don’t get together with them, you’re incredibly selfish and probably only have 1 kid who is the center of your world. Leave this poor lady alone. I’m sure she has other friends who are actually nice people.

+1

[Anonymous]

I have three children. Even when they were 3 year olds, they knew better than to say nasty things to other children. There is a difference between "oh look he has water wings" vs "I'm better than him and he's a baby."

My guess, the jock husband is telling the son he's better than other kids. One GF of mine now has an arrogant teenager because her DH always told him he was better and smarter than his peers.