Husband cursed at me several times in front of kids tonight

[Anonymous]

GTFO, OP.

My husband is flaky but no one is harder on him than he is on himself when it comes to our child’s safety; I would NEVER talk to him that way. Your problem here isn’t just that you had a kid elope or that your husband has an explosive temper; it’s that he has such a contemptuous view of YOU.

[Anonymous]

And letting the child run out into traffic doesn't?

Get your priorities straight people. Being absentminded around young children gets them killed.

She wasn't letting the kids run in traffic..the toddler was their front porch. She forgot to lock the door. It's a mistake anyone could make..most people don't have kids who secretly bolt out the door.

Yes she should have been more careful. What does screaming and swearing at her accomplish?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, the swearing wouldn’t bother me at all and I agree with others who suggested it may have been fear, plus the headache. Only you can decide if it’s acceptable behavior. I do think your response of running to the bathroom to sob is a bit snowflake-ish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:GTFO, OP.

My husband is flaky but no one is harder on him than he is on himself when it comes to our child’s safety; I would NEVER talk to him that way. Your problem here isn’t just that you had a kid elope or that your husband has an explosive temper; it’s that he has such a contemptuous view of YOU.

She screwed up and got an earful. Absolutely appropriate. If you don't screw up so badly, things like this don't happen. Ha, 'GTFO'. And go where? Live in a hotel. Alone. Great idea. Get in line, watch the kids properly, and stop complaining. 'Nuff said.

[Anonymous]

If this were an isolated incident, I may be able to let it go as long as my husband apologizes to me + our sons for his angry outburst.

But if this happens on occasion, I would talk to him DIRECTLY about how he reacts when angry.
That he needs to practice better techniques to express himself & most important: -> He is never EVER to disrespect you again in front of your two sons.

If he continues this awful behavior after speaking to him, I cannot in good faith advise you to stay.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I wonder, would we treat our friends this way? A little kindness all around goes a long way. Nobody should be screaming at anybody.

[Anonymous]

I would looooove to know how OP would react if she had headache and her DH let their 1 year old "accidentally" run out the front door unnoticed. And then tried to tell her it was fine because there "weren't any cars".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would looooove to know how OP would react if she had headache and her DH let their 1 year old "accidentally" run out the front door unnoticed. And then tried to tell her it was fine because there "weren't any cars".

Uh, it was fine because there wasn't any cars. Kid wasn't even in the street, still in the yard.

What a bunch of hysterics for nothing. I used to let my 3 year old play out front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would looooove to know how OP would react if she had headache and her DH let their 1 year old "accidentally" run out the front door unnoticed. And then tried to tell her it was fine because there "weren't any cars".

Uh, it was fine because there wasn't any cars. Kid wasn't even in the street, still in the yard.

What a bunch of hysterics for nothing. I used to let my 3 year old play out front.

I'm pretty sure you were watching them while they did so and not having a crying fit when someone called you on losing a child.

[Anonymous]

Where is toddler trying to get to when leaving house? Do you have an idea?

4 year old hitting mom happens. Especially if they didn't have words to express ("where were you mom? Dad is irritable and you weren't here.") Help 4 yr old identify and name feelings and be a safe place for him to share them.

DH was afraid. Lashed out. Maybe already had a rough time with 4 year old? Headache? Not excusing but giving context. Allow jerk moments and don't define home by them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband did this to me for years. Never got better. Not normal. I'm sorry.

Yep, me too. Then the pushing started. Then the punch that finally sent him to jail and out of our lives (escalated over a 10 year period...). It will most likely get worse. Get out. It's NOT OKAY. And the people that do think it's okay are raising the next wife and husband who are abusive bullies...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would looooove to know how OP would react if she had headache and her DH let their 1 year old "accidentally" run out the front door unnoticed. And then tried to tell her it was fine because there "weren't any cars".

Uh, it was fine because there wasn't any cars. Kid wasn't even in the street, still in the yard.

What a bunch of hysterics for nothing. I used to let my 3 year old play out front.

I'm pretty sure you were watching them while they did so and not having a crying fit when someone called you on losing a child.

Nope. I was listening, but not watching.

My DH lost track of our son one day, and DS had gotten out and locked himself in the car. Potentially VERY BAD. But I still did not scream and curse and call DH names.

Interestingly, DS was much more cautious after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would looooove to know how OP would react if she had headache and her DH let their 1 year old "accidentally" run out the front door unnoticed. And then tried to tell her it was fine because there "weren't any cars".

Uh, it was fine because there wasn't any cars. Kid wasn't even in the street, still in the yard.

What a bunch of hysterics for nothing. I used to let my 3 year old play out front.

I'm pretty sure you were watching them while they did so and not having a crying fit when someone called you on losing a child.

Nope. I was listening, but not watching.

My DH lost track of our son one day, and DS had gotten out and locked himself in the car. Potentially VERY BAD. But I still did not scream and curse and call DH names.

Interestingly, DS was much more cautious after that.

You want a medal? Other people react differently than you. It does not make them bad people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow what an ass I'm so sorry this happened to you. DH and I don't have any kids yet but it breaks my heart to imagine him talking to me like that, or to imagine my dad ever speaking to my mom like that when I was younger. I hope he apologizes swiftly. Not okay.

If you don’t have kids you cannot imagine how you would feel or react if someone put your child, whole you likely love more than life itself, at serious risk of harm.

Why are you making excuses for the guy? I have kids. People make mistakes. That’s not how normal people handle it.

And by the way, the kid was not at serious risk of harm, as described by OP.

I have kids too and no one is perfect. Shit happens. The kid lived.

I ended up divorcing b/c my ex used to talk to me like that. I am happy as can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would looooove to know how OP would react if she had headache and her DH let their 1 year old "accidentally" run out the front door unnoticed. And then tried to tell her it was fine because there "weren't any cars".

Uh, it was fine because there wasn't any cars. Kid wasn't even in the street, still in the yard.

What a bunch of hysterics for nothing. I used to let my 3 year old play out front.

I'm pretty sure you were watching them while they did so and not having a crying fit when someone called you on losing a child.

Nope. I was listening, but not watching.

My DH lost track of our son one day, and DS had gotten out and locked himself in the car. Potentially VERY BAD. But I still did not scream and curse and call DH names.

Interestingly, DS was much more cautious after that.

You want a medal? Other people react differently than you. It does not make them bad people.

DP but depending on the reaction yeah, sometimes it does make them bad people.