Husband cursed at me several times in front of kids tonight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you messed up, he pointed it out in spades, and now you look to the internet to find anonymous posters to say he's a jerk. Now start watching the kids better.

+1

And technically he didn't curse at you.

Thank you - some sane people here. Get it together OP. The fact that the 4-year-old distracted you so completely that you put the 1-year-old down by the door tells me you might need some medication. Have you gotten any diagnosis's for ADHD yet?

[Anonymous]

The fact that you took time to take notes suggests this isn’t the first time.

But you were a goddamn idiot for not locking the door.

And what is up with a kid that hits? So not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you messed up, he pointed it out in spades, and now you look to the internet to find anonymous posters to say he's a jerk. Now start watching the kids better.

+1

And technically he didn't curse at you.

Thank you - some sane people here. Get it together OP. The fact that the 4-year-old distracted you so completely that you put the 1-year-old down by the door tells me you might need some medication. Have you gotten any diagnosis's for ADHD yet?

You’re such an ass.
What you should do, OP, is out both kids down and run for it. Pack your bags for two weeks and let Mr Headache learn to manage things.

[Anonymous]

You husband should not treat you like that. Your son should not hit. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you messed up, he pointed it out in spades, and now you look to the internet to find anonymous posters to say he's a jerk. Now start watching the kids better.

+1

And technically he didn't curse at you.

Thank you - some sane people here. Get it together OP. The fact that the 4-year-old distracted you so completely that you put the 1-year-old down by the door tells me you might need some medication. Have you gotten any diagnosis's for ADHD yet?

You’re such an ass.
What you should do, OP, is out both kids down and run for it. Pack your bags for two weeks and let Mr Headache learn to manage things.

Really? Because they're a million-and-one posts diagnosing DHs as bipolar with ADHD for raising his voice or being moody or forgetting to help out with random things.

But OP leaves her 1-year-old at the door who she knows has a dangerous habit of running out if its not locked, her husband calls her on it, and she immediately starts sobbing in a room by herself. That doesn't seem to be someone who could benefit from mood stabilizers to you?

[Anonymous]

The you owe me an apology part struck me as the really odd part. He sounds like a wimp that needs to be validated for being “smarter/better” than you.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to condone your dh's behavior, but do you think he was more scared than angry? Afraid can come out as anger. Have you ever yelled at your kids when they did something that scared you? It's that.

[Anonymous]

I notice you try to minimize the danger your younger kid was in. ("Oh no there weren't any cars on the street.") Did you know that when you stepped inside the house?

Seriously if you're trying to paint your DH as an abusive asshole you need to do better.

I guarantee you all the women telling you to ditch your husband have yelled at their husbands for mixing whites and darks, leaving a remote out where their kids can grab it and run, or the like.

[Anonymous]

I’m a DW that can imagine yelling at my absent minded DH like that out of terror in a similar situation. The baby could have been killed. I think that in situations like this, words are excusable because of the high level of stress involved. I would probably scream “F$”&ing Jesus Christ!” In front of the pope if he left the door open for my toddler runner to escape!

[Anonymous]

Ok, toddlers hit sometimes, he was maybe upset mom didn't take him , very age appropriate. Please stop being mean, unless you don't have a child.

Op, be thankful your child was not hurt, we all make mistakes.
Cool down and have a talk with your husband.
Let him know you understand why he would use those words but he needs to explain to your children the reasons and that he messed up, he should not yell at their mother, DS was right!

Marriage is work, hugs Op.

[Anonymous]

It is not age appropriate for 4 year old to hit their parent.

[Anonymous]

You're worried about the swear words, not the fact he suggested to your kids they were at immediate risk of death?

Puritan Americans, man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you messed up, he pointed it out in spades, and now you look to the internet to find anonymous posters to say he's a jerk. Now start watching the kids better.

+1

And technically he didn't curse at you.

Thank you - some sane people here. Get it together OP. The fact that the 4-year-old distracted you so completely that you put the 1-year-old down by the door tells me you might need some medication. Have you gotten any diagnosis's for ADHD yet?

You’re such an ass.
What you should do, OP, is out both kids down and run for it. Pack your bags for two weeks and let Mr Headache learn to manage things.

Really? Because they're a million-and-one posts diagnosing DHs as bipolar with ADHD for raising his voice or being moody or forgetting to help out with random things.

But OP leaves her 1-year-old at the door who she knows has a dangerous habit of running out if its not locked, her husband calls her on it, and she immediately starts sobbing in a room by herself. That doesn't seem to be someone who could benefit from mood stabilizers to you?

What a bunch of BS. Her husband is a verbally abusive jerk. I'm the one who swears in our relationship and I would never treat my DH that way, not without some major, major apologizing afterwards both to him and to our kids for that loss of control. And I would make damn sure it didn't happen again.

All you PPs piling on the OP for messing up need your heads examined. OP, in your shoes I would think long and hard about continuing to stay married to this man, and the example you both set for your kids. If he weren't seriously committed to changing, I'd be strategizing how to leave. I grew up in a family with that kind of dynamic and it was brutal. I paid a small fortune in therapy to learn a different way of being, and I am determined for my kids not to need the same as a result of their upbringing.

[Anonymous]

OP, it is acceptable to be very angry, it is not acceptable to express that anger in such an intense, scary and out of control way. I think your 4 year old hitting you out of the blue is also a signal that something is not right at home

If he behaves like this semi regularly, I would consider divorce.

My DH has done some incredibly stupid shit (forgot to reattach car seat, which he only figured out when he stopped short and seat flew forward, luckily DD was okay) is just one example. I get angry, frustrated and scared but going full out ballistic screamibg "you're going to kill the kids" is totally not okay and creates a scary and volatile atmosphere for the children. If your DH cannot express anger appropriately you get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is acceptable to be very angry, it is not acceptable to express that anger in such an intense, scary and out of control way. I think your 4 year old hitting you out of the blue is also a signal that something is not right at home

If he behaves like this semi regularly, I would consider divorce.

My DH has done some incredibly stupid shit (forgot to reattach car seat, which he only figured out when he stopped short and seat flew forward, luckily DD was okay) is just one example. I get angry, frustrated and scared but going full out ballistic screamibg "you're going to kill the kids" is totally not okay and creates a scary and volatile atmosphere for the children. If your DH cannot express anger appropriately you get out.

And letting the child run out into traffic doesn't?

Get your priorities straight people. Being absentminded around young children gets them killed.